Lapodcast (local Anaesthetic Podcast) - The Most Trusted Name In Local News

Stories this week include: Woman arranges lovely spread for children's party. Police straining for information in regards to portaloo theft. Rumours circulate that holy relic found in Primark sock. Ribbon cutting ceremony ends in disaster after official forgets novelty scissors  We experience some teething problems with the new setup... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Suspected shoplifter gets the porking of a lifetime. Joyrider saves women from the horrors of Strictly Come Dancing: The Live Tour Son spurned by parents after pursuing show truck dream. Deviant buys fabric conditioner. Now with added microphones! Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Former restaurateur denies living in house-themed restaurant. Man arrested on suspicion of smuggling after transporting emotional support kittens in trousers. A ****ing right-wing, ****ing attention-seeking, stupid ****ing comedian ****hole returns to Cornwall with new show. Supernatural marriage runs aground. Rob finally calls Alex out... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Reveller resolves to move in with canine lover. Spider takes hostage in stand-off with armed police. Papier-mache floral horse head left in hotel bed. Funfair gifts man stolen dodgem after slow and pathetic chase. We prepare for Alex's one-man show 'Blow My Recorder'... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Raging santa delights ravers. Local man has eggceptional breakfast. Unconfirmed rumours citing Les Dennis as true identity of Banksy quashed. Prisoner forced to endure Bambi like everyone else. Merry Christmas, one and all! Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Customer suspected of foul play. A taste of paradise invokes Christmas rage. Passenger whip-round raises money for replacement plane. Brighton & Hove City Council refuses to deny knowledge of surveillance pigeons. We introduce the concept of 'gulling'... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Desperate woman milks cat. Hotel chain rues lack of trained dolphins. Existential crisis halts court case. Proud couple reveal devastating wildfire to friends and family. We have a treemendous Christmas planned... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Police apologise following complaints regarding 'obscene and offensive' advert for identity parade participants. Yukuza to host community-theatre production of The Godfather Part II. Parish council unanimously approve game developer's proposed 'Woolfenstein' name change. Emotionally disturbed turkeys sent to recuperate in upstate New York. Rob gives a no holds barred account of life on the inside... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Man with nine life-size dolls struggling to find love. Cyclist with newly purchased mattress seduces big cat. Dutch man wastes everyone's time. Zoo sells off animals after Lego sculptures prove more profitable. We devise a new zoo-related feature... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Good samaritan gets lost in pipe organ. Rural town experiences unprecedented humvee showers. Police build case against Lego thieves. Hospital demands correction from newspaper stating patient was not entirely covered with human faeces. Alex attempts a Ecuadorian accent... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Woman involved in bee-zarre incident. Dilapidated holiday park blames customers for exposing shortcomings. City abandons artificial-moon plan after length of extension lead proves unworkable. Shopper who discovered cooked mouse in bag of rice told 'consider yourself lucky' by supermarket. Alex attempts to wrangle the peacock... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: 'Exotic' zoo opens plastic lawn ornament enclosure. Galleria dell'Accademia banned from Facebook over pornographic depiction of David. Ungrateful swan mocks fire brigade. Bank robbery ruins perfectly good game of Cops and Robbers. RIP C*cknose... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Recently discovered collection of vintage porn magazines takes some beating admits owner. Ryanair introduces first hail and ride domestic service. Police left stumped after driver fills entire car with tree branches. Lady Godiva wannabe gets haircut. Now with extra recorder! Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

The main headline this week: The Croydon Cat Killer is unmasked. The podcast is infiltrated by fake news... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Adult-only playground overrun by sugar-addicted toddlers. Unparalleled increase in big cat sightings near houses valued at £750,000 and above.  Recently opened 'Goat World' theme park unmitigated disaster. Operation Takahe lacking manpower. Rob is definitely not in prison... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Shoplifter gets testy after being apprehended by security guards. Supermarket demands victim pay for artisan ketchup used in distraction mugging. Dishevelled robin reluctantly agreed to authorised biography claims author. Fast food chain relieved to confirm that choking hazard was chicken bone. We enquire about recorders... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Onion-eating contest ends in tears. Allo Allo cast members spotted in Gloucestershire sparks fears of a reunion. Interspecies gay love affair immortalised in bronze statue. Headteacher hires burlesque troupe to apologise for pole dancer stunt. Alex sweats it out... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Vigilante with physics A-level shows journalist collection of severed limbs. Police make squirrel that terrorised man official mascot. Forlorn Irishman fails to take the hint. Woman contemplates otherworldly offspring. Alex makes a conscious decision to search the Internet for 'slut pig'... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Homeless man lands brand ambassador role with Wilkin & Sons Ltd. Long faces after woman refused service at drive-thru. Erotic bush gets deflowered. Man tries to enrol adopted son into pre-shoal. Rob lets the cat out of the bag...literally. Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast

Stories this week include: Egyptian zoo unveils world's only zebracorn. Man attacked by rare churchyard-dwelling Pokemon. Police take convicted-criminal based satirical piece to Edinburgh Festival. High street store experiencing spate of novelty inflatable returns due to 'lack of usable holes'. We tremble before the mighty Thor... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast