Reality Bytes

For the 7th episode of Private Parts Unknown, your hosts Courtney Kocak & Sofiya Alexandra are back with the 2nd installment in our 3-part series featuring men talking about their personal experiences with abortion. For this edition, we're joined by two guys — first, former youth pastor/current standup comedian Derrick Murray (@drokcomedy) & then filmmaker/writer/VR extraordinaire Christopher Morrison (@Reality_Plus_) — who exemplify how subtle religious indoctrination can manifest in surprising ways as the shame & stigma surrounding the issue are processed. As you learned in the last episode, Matt Monroe's Instagram post made us realize how rare it is to see men we know speak publicly about their abortions. Busy Philipps started the viral hashtag #YouKnowMe & a flood of women shared their experiences. But obviously #YouKnowHim too. So we flipped the script & asked dudes to shout their abortions for this 3-part series. Many thanks to the five men who shared their nuanced stories with a humility & vulnerabili

For the 6th episode of Private Parts Unknown, comedian/engineer Matt Monroe (@heymonroe) joins your hosts Courtney Kocak & Sofiya Alexandra. He tells the story behind his recent social media post that began “And now, an abortion story... “ followed by his personal experience after he got a casual hookup pregnant at the age of 25. Matt made us realize how rare it is to see men we know speak publicly about their abortions. Busy Philipps started the viral hashtag #YouKnowMe and a flood of women shared their experiences. But obviously #YouKnowHim too. So we flipped the script & asked dudes to shout their abortions for this 3-part series. Many thanks to the five men who shared their nuanced stories with a humility & vulnerability so often missing from this hot button issue. People in Alabama, Georgia, Missouri, and Louisiana need our help. Please consider a donation to https://yellowhammerfund.org/, https://www.plannedparenthood.org/, https://abortionaccessfund.org/, or any other reputable organization engaged in

For the 5th episode of Private Parts Unknown—the 3rd in our Helsinki series—your favorite commuter companions, Courtney Kocak & Sofiya Alexandra, are thrilled to introduce you to feminism in Finland & how it got that way. We explore how World War II helped pave a foundation for feminism to thrive in Finland, their world-famous maternity package, the influence of grandmas & sisters on our interviewees' personal lives & businesses, young female entrepreneurship in Helsinki & the subtle significance of having older women depicted in art. Thanks to the following people for lending us their voices & teaching us about their culture. Follow them on Instagram to find out more about their dope lives & businesses: Pirjo Suhonen – @ivanahelsinki Caroline Suinner – @carolinesuinner Elisabeth Rundlöf – @elisabeth.rundlof Emma Lumme – @jotainlainattua Minna Parikka – @minnaparikkashoes Cristal Snow – @iamcristalsnow (Also, go back and listen to our 1st two Helsinki episodes if you haven’t already!) This episod

For the 4th episode of Private Parts Unknown—the 2nd in our Helsinki series—your favorite commuter companions, Courtney Kocak & Sofiya Alexandra, are thrilled to introduce you to dating & romance in the capital city of the happiest country in the world: Helsinki, Finland. We delve into the “classic Finnish” quirks that inform how they approach dating, romance & happiness, including their hatred of small talk, their pursuit of self-improvement in the name of efficiency & their collective island fantasy. We also learn about popular first dates in Helsinki, explore the recent phenomenon of Finnish women “importing” foreign men for relationships & struggle with the difference between being alone and being lonely. Thanks to the following people for lending us their voices & teaching us about their culture. Follow them on Instagram to find out more about their dope lives & businesses: Aino Pursiainen – @ainopr Pirjo Suhonen – @ivanahelsinki Hannu Virtanen – @lifeof2men Caroline Suinner – @carolinesuinner E

For the 3rd episode of Private Parts Unknown—the 1st in our Helsinki series—your favorite commuter companions, Courtney Kocak & Sofiya Alexandra, are thrilled to welcome psychologist, author, relationship expert & on-set therapist for the Finnish version of Married at First Sight, Tony Dunderfelt. We couldn't be more excited to kick off our Helsinki series with a primer from Tony! He teaches us the 30-second rule, the six levels of sexuality, how to make sure all three suns of love (loving care, attraction & sexuality) are generating heat in your romance, tips for diagnosing your relationship rut & the difference between Finnish vs. American Married at First Sight. This episode is brought to you by #MyHelsinkiResidence. Check out myhelsinki.fi to plan your visit & follow @myhelsinki for beautiful pics of local hot spots! For more Tony Dunderfelt: Check out his website tonydunderfelt.com If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megapho

For the 2nd episode of Private Parts Unknown, your favorite commuter companions – Courtney Kocak & Sofiya Alexandra – are thrilled to welcome Samantha Allen, author of the new book Real Queer America: LGBT Stories from Red States, as well as Love & Estrogen, & senior reporter for The Daily Beast.  First: Your bestie hosts are super excited to be back weekly, effective immediately. Our 1st Helsinki ep drops next week, so now we're looking ahead to upcoming destinations: namely, New York & Tokyo. In the meantime, we fell in love with Samantha Allen's new book, so we had to have her on the show.   Then: Samantha gives us a tour of the thriving LGBT communities in Middle America she discovered on her six-week road trip, which was the basis of Real Queer America. She (& her delightful wife, Corey!) shares how Trump was an unintended source of inspiration for the book, why more letters of the LGBT acronym hang out together in rural areas vs. the cliquey-ness of many urban queer hot spots, the beautiful connections

For the 1st ever episode of Private Parts Unknown, your favorite commuter companions – Courtney Kocak & Sofiya Alexandra – are honored to welcome the badass stripper-activists – Antonia Crane, Domino Rey & Naomi Amadeo – behind the newly-formed California Exotic Dancers Union, Soldiers of Pole.  First: Your bestie hosts wax nostalgic about their recent trip to Helsinki, Finland. It was the best experience ever & we can't wait to share what we learned in future episodes, but for now, we just give you a lil taste. ;) Then: The Soldiers of Pole give us the scoop on their brand-spankin' new strippers' union, how they all met, the Dynamex California Supreme Court case that confirmed their classification as employees vs. independent contractors, their supportive Strip Talk series, the impact of SESTA/FOSTA, how the stigma & shame surrounding sex work complicates the unionization effort, reports of exploitation by club owners from the front lines: forged paychecks, contracts that force dancers to sign away their rig

For the 31st episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome hilarious actress, improviser & comedian Laci Mosley. First: The triad reveals that this is the very last episode ever of Reality Bytes... BUT Courtney & Sofiya will be back by Valentine's Day with an all-new show: Private Parts Unknown, for which we'll be traveling to uncover stories of love & sexuality around the world. Our 1st stop is Helsinki, Finland! Since DFR is in Coupletown, population 2, he's going to be holding down the fort in LA & checking in occasionally as our male correspondent.  Then: Laci has us in stitches as she explains how she knew it was time to leave NYC, the sad reality of colorism in LA dating, her penchant for scamming, the Fyre Festival documentaries, her dating app experiences on Bumble & Raya (where you at, Ben Affleck?!), her budding bisexuality, the eating ass trend, the single person’s fear that maybe there’s no one out there for them, Tyler Perry’s

For the 30th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is down a Dave, but nonetheless thrilled to welcome Brittani Louise Taylor, YouTube star & author of the new book A Sucky Love Story: Overcoming Unhappily Ever After. First: Courtney & Sofiya reflect on their past experiences in toxic & abusive relationships.  Then: Brittani delves into the real-life romance that inspired the book – meeting on Tinder, losing her virginity (in her early 30s), getting pregnant, navigating life as a new mom, winding up in debt & out $100K... then finding out her fiancé is a complete con artist. She emphasizes the importance of looking out for red flags & trusting your gut when things feel wrong. She also shares her advice on when & how to leave an abusive relationship, why it’s important to document instances of abuse, the insidiousness of mental & emotional abuse & how she discovered the deception of her (now former) partner & baby daddy. Plus, we loved her stories about f

For the 29th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome Rachel Sam Evans, Snarled senior content manager & host of Dark 5, as well as co-host of the Best of the Rest wrestling podcast. First: The triad is hella sprung on Rachel's conspiracy theory/pro-wrestling/satanism/masturbation energy/carnival vibe, so we just get right into the interview. Then: We get into Rachel's latest Instagram post of her beautiful ass, putting out BDE on IG, the benefits & drawbacks of thirst-trapping (there should only be benefits!), subtle ways women can be held back professionally because of social optics or a wife's jealousy, developing before her classmates, getting her period at age 9, her 1st time masturbating, the ring rat & chuckle fucker labels, her type (FREAKS, BABY!!!), her 1st job at Noise Haus, sneaking out of the house to have sex as teenager, her very cool mom who will 100% listen to the podcast (hi, Aunt Vicky!), tryna date French boys, com

For the 28th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – does their 1st foray into guestlessness (don't worry, we'll be back with a guest next ep!) to review the personal & professional strides each has made over the past year, along with some goals for 2019. Among the revelations: Dave (finally!) has a girlfriend, Sofiya gives her best surrogate update yet & Courtney's rejection resolution was a big success. We also talk about our favorite interviews of the season: Michael Feldman & Michael Rachlis, Reza Aslan & Jessica Jackley, Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, Ryan Singer, Ester Steinberg, Biniam Bizuneh, Jack O'Brien & Miles Gray of The Daily Zeitgeist... gah, all of our guests have been so amazing, it's really hard to choose!   For more Reality Bytes: Follow Reality Bytes on Instagram @realitybytespod Follow Reality Bytes on Twitter @realitybytespod Like Reality Bytes on Facebook @realitybytespod Follow Courtney on Instagram @courtneykocak

For the 27th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is down a Dave, but nonetheless thrilled to welcome Alexandra Fine, the co-founder & CEO of Dame Products, a Brooklyn-based sex toy company. First: Inspired by reading "5 Sex Trends You Totally Don't Have to Like (or Even Try!)" on Dame's aptly-titled blog "The Horizontal," Courtney & Sofiya unpack their personal preferences for five different sex trends – anal sex; threesomes, group sex, polyamory & other sorts of open relationships; intense stimulation (DOUBLE YES!!); shower sex; BDSM & heavy kink play. Then: Alex fills us in on Dame's origin story & her trajectory into the women's pleasure profession. We also talk about conversations surrounding sex in the workplace during the #MeToo movement when sex IS your business, sexual harassment vs. humans are innately sexual beings, advertising's gender bias, marriage, the necessary work of cultivating the erotic energy in a long-term relationship, our natura

For the 26th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome the hosts of the Love in Limboland podcast Kudzi & Tiffany. First: The triad discusses our tendencies to stay friends with exes vs. banishing them to the dark side of the moon. We also talk about jealousy & the chillness that comes from being secure in your relationship. Then: We get into it with Kudzi & Tiffany about cultural differences between South Africa & the United States, the contrasting tone of race relations in both places, living in the bubble of Los Angeles, being work friends before starting their podcast, bringing a date to the holiday party gone wrong, Watergate: The Great Manners vs. Independent Woman Debate, who should pay for the 1st date, being bad a texting as a dating dealbreaker, how to keep the momentum going without wasting a ton of time texting, the importance of taking it offline as soon as possible, qualities they're each looking for in a potential partne

For the 25th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome standup comedian & host of the Me & Paranormal You podcast Ryan Singer to talk about his new comedy album Free Love (now available for free!!!). First: The triad talks about that super annoying phenomenon where neurotic people (aka us) will take a little offhand comment someone makes & blow it completely out-of-proportion in their minds. Then: Ryan shares why he calls his podcast a mindcast (thus inspiring us to start calling Reality Bytes a genitalcast), his experience with a lowkey STD called Molluscum (whaddya know, Dave's also had Molluscum!), how he's overcoming his fear of intimacy & abandonment issues, his foray into a serious relationship for the 1st time in seven years, how to stay friends with exes & former hookups, why our society's weird POV on male/female friendship is so wack, a hot tip for younger men, the difference between dark mystery vs. fun mystery, why The Note

For the 24th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome the hosts of the Almost 30 podcast Krista Williams & Lindsey Simcik. First: The triad got a very poignant, special message from a fan this week (thank YOU, you know who you are). We talk about feeling lost, the journey of finding oneself again, and the church of Cheryl Strayed (praise be!). Then: Krista & Lindsey share their most impactful Almost 30 interviews to date (hello, Dan Savage & John Wineland), a more sympathetic way to think about infidelity, what it's like to change at different rates within a relationship, the excitement & fear of having babies, the influence of their parents' relationships on their own, how they reframe sexual harassment & #MeToo-type situations without adding shame, the stifling effect of outrage culture, how they knew right away their connection was special, what it's like to work together & the keys to a successful partnership. This episode is bro

For the 23rd episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome Jenna Birch, author of The Love Gap: A Radical Plan to Win in Life and Love & co-founder/CEO of the new dating app Plum, which launches December 1st. First: The triad raves about the Doc Johnson factory tour, including meeting their Leonardo da Vinci of dildos, artist Anjani Siddhartha. Courtney & Sofiya share how fun it was to get their pussies molded, while Dave "Sad Dick" Rankin relives one of his top 3 most awkward moments – aka the erotic horror story of getting his penis molded – & reveals his unsuccessful "Big Dick Daddy" self-talk. Then: Jenna explains the impetus for her book, the interview process involved in its writing, the definition of "End Goal" woman & the types of men she's likely to encounter in the dating pool, the correlation between feminism & hypermasculinity, her relationship status & the unique features of her new dating app Plum (download it on December 1st

For the 22th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome the hosts of the HowStuffWorks podcast The Daily Zeitgeist Jack O'Brien (who also co-founded Cracked.com) & Miles Gray to talk becoming a dad & finally being with someone who challenges you, respectively. First: The triad gives a glowing review of the "Beastie Boys Book: Live & Direct" tour, Dave fills us in on his new apartment & we talk about sleepover expectations for hookups vs. relationships.   Then: The Daily Zeitgeist fellas go deep with us about Jack proposing to his now wife, their wedding announcement rejection from The New York Times, how having kids has deepened their relationship, the ways fatherhood has changed him, the growth Miles has unlocked by being with a partner who challenges him, talking to his mom about #MeToo, his days in a rap group with Shia LaBeouf (!!!), the importance of being true to yourself in a relationship, the intangible effects of your parents st

For the 21st episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome power couple Reza Aslan (religion scholar & author of God, Zealot & more) & Jessica Jackley (co-founder of microlending company Kiva.org & author of Clay Water Brick). First: The triad talks about women still being defined by their attachment to a man despite advances in gender equality & the decision whether or not to change your last name.   Then: Reza & Jessica open up about being introduced via email, their TED Talk "Higher Love," raising boys with consent culture, challenging previous relationships, serial monogamy, dating after a sexless relationship, sowing wild oats, Reza's 1st three trigger-happy engagements, Jessica's post-divorce Eat Pray Love phase, realizing they wanted to commit to each other, getting pregnant right away, their surprise wedding (to the 3rd power), marriage counseling, being an interfaith couple, fostering a multifaith family, the distinction between re

For the 20th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome Delanie Fischer, co-host of The Self-Helpless Podcast & founder/CEO of Dicks by Delanie. First: Courtney & Sofiya check in on the blowjob challenge. Dave is blown away by their updates! We also talk about going to bed at the same time as your partner. Then: Delanie does a deep dive with us on finding her way into a happy relationship after being single for a long time, her hit podcast’s origin story, favorite podcast moments including interviewing Brian Regan (the nicest comedian ever), her fuckboy days, turning a hookup into a LTR, her self-help journey, being really in love for the first time, moving in together, getting comfortable, growing up in Simi Valley, being homeschooled during high school & having older friends, her party days, starting standup, then realizing she wanted to quit, the awkwardness of a career identity shift, limiting beliefs about work & money, quitting he

For the 19th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome Tito Bonito, aka "the Cuban Missile Crisis of burlesque," a male burlesque performer & hilarious emcee. First: The triad talks about their stripper fantasies, nude work experience & shared obsession with 80s masterpiece Dirty Dancing – plus pay homage to Jennifer Grey's original nose.  Then: Tito spills the tea about the burlesque scene in LA & across the United States, how dropping out of Columbia College led to trying drag for the 1st time, why drag wasn't his thing, finding his voice in burlesque, playing with masculinity & femininity on stage, consent as it applies to crowd work, the difference between the comedy in standup and burlesque, audience feedback, flirting with straight guys after shows, his favorite costumes including Batman's Robin, a boy scout & his "problematic" Elián González character, when he realized he was gay, coming out to his Cuban family, his relationship