Everybody Hates Rand: A Wheel Of Time Podcast

For the very problematic chapters 13-14, we talk about Communist Leanings, Cadsuane's JurisDICKtion, being Stuck in the Pushing Children Out of Windows Stage of Development. Plus, of course, Moridin's rat. Transcript

Talking about these chapters required something ... special. Luckily Bobert was willing to help us out. Discussion points include: Alligators Climbing Fences, a Million Billion Pieces, the Bible as a Marriage Guide, and Freud Being a Huge Feminist.

No, this one's not related to Gary Paulsen's seminal work, "Hatchet." For ch. 9-10, we discuss how lots of people have French dads, Elayne's dieting fixation, and everyone's least favorite character, who should've just stayed locked in Robert Jordan's brain. Transcript

This episode is long, but only because we have to talk about Path of Daggers. :( For ch. 7-8, we discuss Deprogramming the Seanchan, the Princess in Disguise Trope, Balwer and Norry (the Ultimate Power Couple), and Lan's Borat Voice. Transcript

For ch. 5-6, we're talking about Fast and Furious: Hopper Drift, Untrustworthy Women, the World's Longest Misogyny Manifesto, the Shaido Blob, and the Three Genders (women, children, blacksmiths).

Ch. 3-4 of Winter's Heart are a mixed bag. On the one hand, Faile is doing her best. On the other hand, we have a Reverse Taken Situation, Sevanna Being a Material Girl, a Graendal Lite, if you will, and a whole lot of Genre Confusion. Transcript  

Winter's Heart ch. 1-2 kick off Perrin's books-long kidnapped-wife arc. We dig into a few reasons why this arc is universally despised and talk about Magic FaceTime, Trauma Olympics, Shaido Tracking Chips, and Glorified Taxi Drivers. Transcript

Discussion topics for the second half of Winter's Heart's prologue include: Mandy Moore Has the Range; Hubris, Thy Name Is Elaida; Reverse Santa Claus; Grady and Neald Should Get a Gun; and Rand and Min Are Cute for Once???

Welcome to our extra long, extra special season 8 premiere! We talk about Darrell K. Sweet's "Best" Work, Holding the Prologue Ransom, the Torture Chair, Caemlyn (the City of No Solutions), and Girl Power. Enjoy!

For our season finale of Crown of Swords, we talk about how Sammael Beefed It, Sexism on Top of Sexism, Sentient Sock Puppets, the Sexual Tension Between Rand and Moridin, Deus ex Liah, and the Ideal Short King Threesome. It's a real party.

This episode has no bones! Ha ha, no, that's just a funny joke. It's that dang gholam that's got no bones. For ch. 39-40, we also talk about a Lot of Twos, the Sorority from Hell, and the Artful Dodger Picking Olver up from Day Care.

In ch. 37-38, Robert Jordan really tries to drag us into his sexism by making his female characters the absolute worst. Embroider this on a throw pillow: "Women don't have brains; they have babies." Transcript

Isn't it nice that the Dragon Reborn can't ever be killed because he's so tall and good at swords? Anyway, ch. 35-36 are bad. We talk about Francine Herbert, Magazine Cutout Women, and MVP Darlin. Also, Viva la Revolution.  

This episode includes some upsetting noises, and we're not just talking about every time Min opens her mouth. Ch 32-34 also include: Elaida Failing Upward, Sick History, Lollipops, and the Most '90s Feminism You've Ever Seen. Transcript

This short-ish episode is brought to you by Shake Shack's Bag of Bones! For ch. 30-31, we talk about how Slapping (the Gender Inverse of Spanking), Teens in Charge, being Horny for Caligula, and Emily's Outlander Betrayal. As always, Love Wins. Transcript

Please be mindful of the content warnings: In discussing ch. 28-29, we talk about sexual assault and domestic violence. Skip this one if you need to, and we'll catch you next time! Links: South Valley Services Domestic Violence 101 Donate to South Valley Services  Power and Control Wheel 

Ch. 25-27 are not fun! They forced us to explain morality, if that tells you anything. Discussion topics include: Not Like the Other Myrddraal, Oscar Winner Rand al'Thor, Hit in the Face by a Plot Building, and the AU Where Grady's Wife Murders Mazrim Taim. Transcript  

After our week off, we're pouring one out for the late, great Gary Paulsen. May Valhalla welcome you, Gary. We also discuss ch. 22-24, including debilitating Aes Sedai fetishes, how unnecessary the Kin are, and the latent misogyny of Nynaeve and Elayne's incompetence. Transcript

Ch. 20-21 are all about cubes, cubes, cubes. We also call Sammael a Silly Little Goose, wonder where all the assassins are, and question Jordan's portrayal of one-sided loyalty in his so-called "friendships."

We're joined by long-time friend and WoT progenitor Cambria Valente to talk about ch. 18-19! Dicussion points include: Bisexual Chairs, Robot Jordan, F*cking on Broken Glass, and Berelain's Yelp Reviews. Transcript