Being Well With Dr. Rick Hanson

We're all searching for fulfillment in one way or another. Today Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss how we can find and maintain it, and if it's truly possible to be fulfilled all the time. We're exploring how we can relate to our low moments amidst a "good vibes only" culture, what gets in the way of fulfillment, and the importance of respecting individual differences in nature.  Here's the video about fulfillment on Forrest's channel that we refer to during the episode. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You  can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:45: Fulfillment: “Climate” rather than “weather.” 3:20: Context for the episode: Forrest’s video.  5:00: Authentic fulfillment in the self-help space. 9:15: The tyranny of low expectations. 13:20: Eudaimonic and hedonic wellbeing. 15:30: Pitfalls of chasing fulfillment. 17:40: The importance of nature, individual variation, and ci

Though there’s no lack of advice out there, changing in lasting ways is hard. Today Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson are joined by Dr. Katy Milkman, an expert on the science of change, to explore how we can build better habits, sustain motivation, and change for good.  About Our Guest: Dr. Katy Milkman is a Professor at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. Her research explores ways that insights from economics and psychology can be harnessed to change consequential behaviors for good. Katy is the author of the bestselling new book How to Change: The Science of Getting From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, and is also the host of the popular podcast Choiceology with Katy Milkman. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You  can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:30: Why is it so hard to change? 5:35: Using Rick as an example of changing a habit. 10:10: Short-term

When we’re hurt in our relationships, it’s normal to experience resentment. We don’t talk about resentment very much, we’re more likely to talk about anger, fear, or sadness. But resentment is a combination of all of those difficult feelings that causes as much harm to our relationships – and to our own well-being – as any other emotion. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore resentment:  where it comes from, what it does, and what we can do about it. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You  can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: What is resentment, and what function does it serve? 5:50: Resentment as repressed emotion. 9:00: Resentment and power differences. 11:10: Aspects of resentment. 12:40: Costs of resentment.  18:50: Given the costs, why do people hold on to their resentment? 22:20: Resentment connects us to people.  28:30: Healthy aspects of resentment. 31:00:  Feeling "good enough."  34:00: Working with resentment: what do you want your experience

Tara Brach joins Dr. Rick Hanson to help us learn how to "trust the gold:" recognizing and appreciating our essential human goodness, while resting in the key refuges of truth, love, and freedom. About our Guest:  Tara is the founder and guiding teacher of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D.C. Tara has taught all over the world, and is the author of four books, including her most recent book Trusting the Gold: Uncovering Your Natural Goodness. You can also find Tara through her Tara Brach podcast. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You  can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 2:05: What does it mean to “trust the gold?” 6:05: Blocks to seeing our true goodness. 9:50: The impact of childhood. 13:05: Objection #1: Fears of falling into narcissism or arrogance.  18:30: The benefits of satisfying our needs. 21:20: Objection #2: Fears of laziness and lack of success. 25:15: Two paths to t

Most personal growth content out there suggests having a "never give up" mindset. But the truth is that a big part of life is deciding when it's time to stop investing our limited effort into that job, skill, or relationship that's no longer serving you.  Today Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest explore how to determine when it's time for things to end, dealing with disappointment, giving ourselves credit for our good efforts, and getting excited about what's to come. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You  can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: Being sure you’re not ending too soon. 4:50: Improving distress tolerance vs. protecting yourself. 9:50: Trusting the past.  13:30: What keeps people stuck: sunk cost fallacy. 14:30: The longing for a just world. 16:50: Dealing with disappointment. 22:00: Optimism, and turning toward the future. 24:30: Understanding the limitations of our

Forrest is joined by pioneering psychologist Dr. Katherine Kinzler to explore how our speech shapes our social identity, and the views we hold about other people. A big part of human nature is to rapidly sort people into two groups: “like me,” and “not like me.” Our general tendency is to gravitate toward people we perceive as “like me,” and avoid and oppose people we perceive as “not like me.” We use many different kinds of markers to determine which group a person belongs to: markers like perceived race, gender, political affiliation, and social class.  But there’s an often-overlooked factor that might influence how we view ourselves and others even more powerfully: the way we speak.  About Our Guest: Dr. Kinzler is a professor of psychology at the University of Chicago, and the leader of the Development of Social Cognition Laboratory. She’s also the author of the wonderful book How You Say It: Why You Talk the Way You Do―And What It Says About You.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like

Life includes many major culminating moments: we finish the big work project, receive the award, watch the kids leave home, go on the vacation, win the title, or enter retirement. These experiences can come with enormous fulfillment…for a while. And then, we might ask ourselves: Now what? Today Rick and Forrest explore that question, including how we can relate to the past, integrate learning, turn toward the future, and age well through life.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You  can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics 1:15: Context for the episode. 4:20: Our culture’s constant focus on “what’s next?” 9:30: Cognitive bias, and the brain’s “anticipation machine.” 13:45: Developmental stages of life 17:40: Stages of integration and disintegration.  27:30: The opportunities of old age.  31:45: Rick’s reflections on aging. 35:15: Bowing to past selves. 41:40: Giving our full effort. 44:00: Being a m

We all have different parts inside of us. This is perfectly normal, not psychotic. But our relationship with some parts is often better than others, and a wonderful path to healing and growth is to repair our relationship with all of our parts. That's the premise of Internal Family Systems Therapy, and today Forrest is exploring this powerful modality with the founder of IFS: Dr. Richard Schwartz. It's a special episode that includes a live demonstration of an IFS session between Forrest and Dr. Schwartz. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Key Topics: 2:00: Internal Family Systems' origin story. 4:30: An introduction to IFS. 12:40: Allowing the Self to help itself. 14:20: Richard and Forrest do a mock IFS session. 17:40: The "Manager" gets in the way. 18:20: "Direct access" to the "Protector" part. 24:00: Integrating the "session." 27:15: Speaking from our parts. 29:15: "No bad parts." 33:00: Working with our exiled parts.  35:10: Anger toward ou

One of the common topics on the podcast is developmental psychology: how what happened to us as a child can influence our lives today. Alongside that, there can also be a lot of value in reconnecting with the person we were when we were young, before the world got in the way. This can give us a sense of our true nature, and new ideas for how to become an ever-more-complete version of ourselves out in the world. Follow this link to watch the conversation on YouTube! Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Key Topics: 1:10: Uncovering our true nature. 4:20: Our cultural view of children. 7:20: “Feeling down” into younger layers. 13:30: What were you like when you were young? 18:20: A process of contacting your true nature. 25:00: What were your innate desires? 34:00: Compassion for our source. 39:00: Guiding questions, and the layers of self we can access. 43:00: The core needs of most young people. 51:40: Writing a letter to your younger self. 53:00: R

People generally think of self-compassion as a "soft" emotion that helps us comfort, reassure, and nurture ourselves. Today a pioneer in the field of compassion research, Dr. Kristin Neff, joins the show to explore the fierce side of self-compassion, including how it can help us draw healthy boundaries, take necessary action, and stand against injustice. About Our Guest: Dr. Kristin Neff is an Associate Professor at the University of Texas at Austin. She conducted the first empirical studies on self-compassion almost twenty years ago, and is the author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.  On June 15th she'll be releasing her new book: Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive. Watch our conversation on YouTube here! Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Key Topics: 1:50: How is fierce self-compassion different from “typical” self-compassion? 5:50: The balance of fierc

Some of the most important moments of our lives are crossroads of different kinds. There’s a big decision, and we have to pick one thing over another. Today Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how to make the important decisions in life.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Key Topics: 2:00: Common themes in big decisions. 5:00: Balancing short- and long-term decisions. 10:15: Knowing your own nature, and having different priorities. 17:20: Using analysis to inform intuition. 21:15: Identifying the “parts” of a decision. 22:50: Analyzing costs and benefits. 33:00: Write it down. 36:20: Working backwards. 40:30: Getting clear on what you want.  42:30: Thinking over the long haul.  43:30: The three circles. 45:00: Finding “comps.” 50:30: The calculus of a decision. 59:00: Affective forecasting Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners

In this conversation from the Life After COVID Summit, Dr. Joanne Cacciatore joins Forrest to help us put the past in perspective, and relate in healthier and more whole ways to the many things we've lost over the past year.  Last weekend Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson were joined by 11 world-class experts for a FREE three-day online event to explore how we can recover from old wounds, build key strengths, and create a better future together. Over 10,000 people joined us for the Summit, and we received incredible feedback. If you missed it, all of the conversations will remain freely available through May 25th. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 2:00: Mortality salience.  5:00: Putting “little stresses” in context alongside the big ones.  6:40: The problems with “getting back to normal,” and our new opportunities. 12:10: Remember what has happened, and turning toward grief.  15:30: Practices that support us during grief.  20:30: The importance of social support. 26:50:

Today we’re focusing on a topic that’s been particularly important over the last year: how we can deal more effectively with life's major disruptions. This includes recovering from setbacks, finding the opportunities, and even getting the most out of disruptions that are positive.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 0:55: “One mistake after another.” 1:55: Life After COVID Summit. 5:30: The opportunities in major disruptions. 9:00: The impact of social environments on our self-identity. 11:10: The Theory of Positive Disintegration. 13:30: Framing disruption as a normal feature of life. 18:30: Examples of normal disruptions that occur in life. 21:45: The importance of social support. 23:30: Practices to limit the harm during a moment of disruption. 31:15: The necessity of eventually processing the emotion

We usually experience ourselves as being one "self," but we all have different characters, different "parts," running around inside our heads. And our relationship with some parts is better than others. Today's guest, Susan McConnell, joins Forrest to explore Somatic Internal Family Systems, a powerful form of therapy that helps us bring those parts together as a unified self. About Our Guest: Susan is a senior trainer for the IFS Institute, and has taught Internal Family Systems both in the United States and around the world since 1997. She developed the Somatic IFS approach, which is a synthesis of Susan’s forty years of study, teaching, and clinical practice. Her new book Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy, came out late last year.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 3:50: The Internal Family Sys

Henry Shukman, the guiding teacher of Mountain Cloud Zen Center, joins Rick and Forrest to explore self-transcendent experiences, relaxing self-identification, and the warm heart at the core of Zen practice. About our Guest: Henry Shukman is a writer, poet, and Zen Master of the Sanbo Zen lineage. He’s published nine books to date which have won numerous awards, and writes regularly for Tricycle, The New York Times and other publications. His most recent book is One Blade of Grass: Finding the Old Road of the Heart, a Zen Memoir.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 1:50: How Henry came to meditative practice. 3:30: Henry’s self-transcendent experience. 7:20: How Zen practice has changed Henry’s experience of himself. 10:35: Gradual cultivation, sudden awakening.  14:30: The role of transcendent experienc

Dr. Jennifer Ashton joins Rick and Forrest to discuss everything you need to know about the current state of the pandemic. This includes what vaccinated people should feel comfortable doing, the J&J vaccine pause, how to think about risk, and how we can support our mental health during the New Normal.  About Our Guest: Dr. Ashton is the Chief Medical Correspondent for ABC News, and has appeared on the ABC Network up to 14 hours a day in order to bring viewers important medical information. She is in regular contact with public health officials, including the Surgeon General and Dr. Anthony Fauci. Dr. Ashton is also the bestselling author of six books, including her recently published book The New Normal: A Roadmap to Resilience in the Pandemic Era.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 3:10: Why can’t we j

What's the "point" of meditation, and how can we build a practice that works for us? In this episode Rick and Forrest clear up some common misconceptions about meditation, explore major forms of meditation, and share how you can get more out of your practice. Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 1:15: Forrest’s history with meditation, and some of the benefits of practice. 5:30: What’s the “point” of meditation? 11:30: Skepticism toward narrow views of meditation. 14:10: Do you have to be “spiritual” or “religious” to meditate? 14:45: Three breaths practice. 16:30: Secular vs. spiritual orientations toward meditation. 17:45: The two major tools: insight vs. “calming” meditation.  20:40: Virtue, concentration, and wisdom. 23:20: The tendency to “skip” to insight.  26:30: Why Rick meditates. 32:30: What does

Over the last year we’ve all been through a lot. In addition to the many major costs, there have been smaller, subtler costs as well, including a pervasive feeling of anxiety. In this episode, Rick and Forrest walk through a normal experience of anxiety and offer some suggestions for how to overcome it.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 3:30: Accepting the presence of anxiety. 6:30: Recognize what’s alright right now. 10:00: Finding heart, and connecting with other people. 18:30: Take action.  26:30: Appreciating the biological part of anxiety. 32:00: Surrendering to what will happen. 37:00: What enables surrender? 41:20: Recap. Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together th

How can we bring useful qualities of contemplative practice into our normal, everyday lives as people living in the real world? Senior meditation teacher and author Stephen Snyder joins us to explore that overarching question, alongside a variety of topics related to “not-self,” the true nature of the self, and self-transcendence. About our Guest: Stephen is a senior meditation teach who has been practicing meditation since 1976. He’s the author of three books, including Buddha’s Heart. Stephen is also a lawyer by trade, and has practiced law on behalf of a number of Zen masters and Buddhist organizations.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 2:35: Stephen’s background in Buddhism.  6:30: A brief background in types of Buddhist practice. 10:30: Bringing practice into our work life. 14:00: Why do contempla

One of the hardest, and most important, parts of creating great relationships is setting healthy boundaries with other people. Boundaries expert Nedra Glover Tawwab joins the show to explore how we can trust our instincts, work through codependency, and build better boundaries.  About Our Guest: Nedra has been a therapist for 13 years, and focuses on helping people build better relationships by teaching them how to implement healthy boundaries. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Guardian, Psychology Today, Self, and Vice, and she’s the author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, on sale now. You also might have encountered Nedra’s work on Instagram, where she has an extremely popular page that shares wonderful content.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts including Nedra during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 1:40: What drew Nedra