Lapodcast (local Anaesthetic Podcast) - The Most Trusted Name In Local News

Stories this week include: Busty bust-up in Toby Carvery. Village resident regrets selling lover to circus. Father's fury at sh*tty swing in sh*tty park. Cornish newspaper breaks Trump 'exclusive'.     Also revealed: The Graduation Theory gathers momentum...

Stories this week include: All female Slayer tribute band denies link to Croydon (and surrounding area) Cat Killer. Matalan defends range of luxury gifts made by 'highest category of UK-based prisoners'. Shopper tries to locate mystery woman following basket banter. Police detain poaching gang following unpheasant discovery.     Also revealed: Rob makes a cash offer...

Stories this week include: Woman shocked by exceptional breasts. Town refuses to recognise local hero that saved beloved pet from imaginary fire. Giant goose thought to be heading to Exeter. 'Expert' claims that the Ford Transit is the extra-terrestrial's light commercial vehicle of choice.     Also revealed: Concern grows for Alex's mental wellbeing...

Stories this week include: Firefighters stunned at duck's ability to swim in water. Local man insists that everyone should 'get it out' at Christmas. Foul-mouthed customer upset by free gift. Husband punches beaver for the first time, apparently.    Also revealed: We name a selection of Welsh recording artists...

Stories this week include: Saviour of poultry returns from the dead in Cornwall. Man with vendetta launches campaign to rid Gloucester of all pet felines. Factory worker engages in stand-off with armed police after mother revokes television privileges. Offensive Christmas decoration is this year's must have for Yewtree.   Also revealed: We wish all our listeners a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year...now, how about a badly sung Christmas carol?

Stories this week include: 'West Country Disneyland' finally issued with a cease and desist for copyright infringement. Overweight son still upset despite a million wishes to the contrary. Police demand motorist pays for damage to mattress that caused A34 crash. Car park bones not human.   Also revealed: We address a formal compliant...

Stories this week include: Deer on beach reported to police. Lindsay Lohan dismisses Northamptonshire town. Man captures picture of ghost/dog on Snapchat. Smug b*stard awarded chocolate.   Also revealed: Alex smells his jeans...

Stories this week include: Police launch investigation into 'special interest' club established by Tory peer. Attention seeking roofer finds imaginative new way to embarrass himself. Delays to train service caused by wrong kind of squirrel. Aliens force man to go to bed.   Also revealed: Rob gets angry...

Stories this week include: Shopper severs own toe in protest at store's woeful Christmas display. Father admits concocting message in a bottle stunt to enliven mundane existence. Conservation peer may or may not have murdered family pet. Disagreement quickly slides into mass brawl.   Also revealed: We celebrate the New World Order...

Stories this week include: Better class of racist thug convicted in Poole. Off-roading pensioners incite cow stampede. Panthers believed to have infiltrated several FTSE 100 CEO posts. Harry Redknapp [REDACTED] [REDACTED] wife following [REDACTED] [REDACTED].   Also revealed: We reluctantly discuss a certain election...

Stories this week include: 'World's Grumpiest Old Woman 2015' stages naked protest after becoming fed up with everything. Bus driver finally admits abject hatred of passengers. Bespoke private offices double as public toilet. Sex act on nature trail sets evolution back by approximately 65 million years.   Also revealed: Alex reveals his failed career as a magician...

Stories this week include: Well-endowed fleas begin reign of terror across South East London. Police finally crack Travel Cluedo theft. Man finds Holland-on-Sea deserted with not a Pokemon in sight. Eight-year-old fails to secure financial backs despite identifying emerging marketing opportunities.  Also revealed: We go on pilgrimage...

Stories this week include: Croydon cat killer film 'Operation Takehe' set for London-wide release. Highly skilled regiment of weaponised monkeys manages to steal nuclear codes. Footballer stands firm on proposed legal action. Unlucky Russian scientist watches awkward situation get significantly worse.  Also revealed: We launch the campaign for the 'Redistribution of Bank Holidays'...

Stories this week include: Domino's attempt to liven up boring cheese and ham pizza. Police track down flasher resembling infamous Bond villain. Siblings head to Blackheath Common for a 'Pokemon Hunt'. Teacher caught sneaking in to school to retrieve leftover fish fingers.  Also revealed: We debate how clean a pufferfish actually is...

Stories this week include: Former Chancellor believed to be amassing private militia to stage coup. Beloved inflatable employee forced into early retirement for a crude piece of 'misguided marketing humour'. Stables left facing bankruptcy after 15 tons of 'equine gold' goes up in flames. Unusual sculptures become the toast of the town.  Also revealed: We consider employing the services of a local professor...

Stories this week include: Olympics in jeopardy after box of matches go missing. Police appeal for witnesses after alleged 'milking' in local park. Telephone box protest ends in stalemate. Claimants to receive abusive voicemails from Job Centre staff until they re-enter employment says Work and Pensions Secretary.  Also revealed: Rob buys a birthday card...

Stories this week include: Jealous partner seizes on opportunity to release beloved family pet back into wild. Delivery driver leaves helpful note for self-employed mother. Village idiot finds herself in yet another hilarious scrape. Ministry of Justice deny reports of pilot scheme where drones used to deliver meals to prisoners.  Also revealed: The YouTube push continues...

Stories this week include: Tinder tool gets the military coup he rightly deserves. Victim of air rage allowed to fly plane for remainder of flight. Man delighted at prospect of first 'banana' party. Helicopter and leaf-blower fails to dry out cricket pitch in time for crucial game.  Also revealed: Anyone for YouTube?

Stories this week include: Woman shocked to see cock on roundabout. Terrifying creature revealed to be some old yarn.  Llamas stage protest against Tour de France. Man bored of Brexit captures pilot of UFO on film. Also revealed: We consider filing for copyright infringement...

Stories this week include: Police smash illegal rubber duck racing ring. Disgraced former Animal Hospital presenter causing stink in prison.  Man that probably met Michael Jackson convicted of tax avoidance. Mythical 10 man train believed to be active in Barnehurst. WARNING: High levels of Brexit contained within this podcast...