Lapodcast (local Anaesthetic Podcast) - The Most Trusted Name In Local News

Stories this week include: Electro Smog set to release comeback album produced by Noel Edmonds. 31 years of karate experience failed to prevent savage attack on washing machine.  Vicar invokes diplomatic immunity from the Almighty following drunken arrest. Department of Work and Pensions refuses to apologise for placing all pensioners in 'non-working/technically deceased' group in order to re-calculate benefits. Also revealed: We explore the weird and wonderful submissions for 'the episode' competition...

Stories this week include: Concerns for the mental well-being of 'Priscilla Prim' increase following unprovoked attack on 'Auntie'. Shitterton upstaged by Brown Willy and Scratchy Bottom.  Woefully inadequate man exposed by partner with extensive sex aid collection. Maid escapes ill-conceived amateur remake of comedy farce starring Michael Palin. Also revealed: We revisit a wildly unpopular and often forgotten soap opera...

Stories this week include: Idyllic beauty spot left vacant following werewolf sightings. Police refuse selfie with naked sleepwalker.  Lonely man haunted by amorous pigeons. Bouncing pervert captured on CCTV. Also revealed: Alex threatens to reveal 'old stinker'...

Stories this week include: Band of Dickensian characters stage art heist hoax. Cuts to defence budget starts to bite.  Controversial politician provokes outrage by failing to mention Hitler during interview. Skin flute 'not a real instrument' claims orchestra. Also revealed: Rob goes to a concert...

Stories this week include: Ricky Gervais refuses to speak out against (or in favour of) the Croydon Cat Killer. Family day out ruined by sh*tty trampoline.  Jammie dodgers make off with £10,000 worth of biscuits. Couple has passports confiscated for their own safety. Also revealed: We launch an ill-conceived and idiotic competition...

Stories this week include: Epping Forest police constable finally begins to justify salary. South Norwood Animal Rescue and Liberty (SNARL) continue push for global domination.  McDonald's customer politely asked to leave after dining with axe. 'Celebrity' fabricates invasion of privacy story to raise funds for second pair of Bermuda shorts. Also revealed: We discuss the upper age bracket to have your picture taken with a Shetland pony...

Stories this week include: Militant group annexes Swanage and forms breakaway state. Isolated farmer continues to lose grip on reality amongst her chickens.  Bristol residential claims to have had vision of infamous 'Hand of God' goal. Outgoing journalist decides to mock local dialect in final article. Also revealed: We make light of the impending collapse of capitalism.

Stories this week include: Intelligent parrot outwits captor. Violence erupts at Easter fun day after the hot cross buns run out.  Covert chip shop reviewer breaks cover.  All the items to make your party go off with a bang found in local canal. Also revealed: We return to Derby, just around lunchtime...

Stories this week include: Man resorts to violence after listening to the Archers. The homeless to be given reconditioned laptops to aid property search.  Gang of pensioners in the picture for suspicious swan murders.  Incomprehensible man believed to have normal sized hands. Also revealed: We discuss the plays of Arthur Miller and something about Donald Trump...

Stories this week include: Supermarket forced to clarify that their 'Bag for Life' cannot resurrect the dead. Woman outraged at 'vile' mannequin that can clearly be seen not wearing a watch.  RSPCA investigate picture of smoking magpie just for something to do.  Anonymous review of public toilet makes strange reference to 'sticky' facilities. Also revealed: The derogatory comments about the suspected career choices of our listeners continue...

Stories this week include: Concerned shopper decides to 'water' frozen vegetables. Goose shot dead in drive-by sparks nationwide manhunt.  Extensive RSPCA investigation into cat murders reveals nothing of interest. Ironically named charity shop discovered to be selling live hand grenade. Also revealed: The Woodland Murder Detectives make an unwelcome return...

Stories this week include: Lonely bachelor living vicariously through cat manages to entice fox into grubby world. Monkey with drink problem purchased by Eynsford based wildlife centre.  Man carrying child in fancy dress spotted walking along westbound carriageway of M60. Woman fails to identify brand of chicken and mushroom slice that led to vicious altercation. Also revealed: Alex learns of the mystical town of Uttoxeter...

Stories this week include: Martin Clunes to star as the notorious Cat Ripper in six-part dramatisation. Bovidae cash and carry opens in North Wales.  Wildlife centre admits more animals appear to have escaped following audit. Woman mistakes birdsong for multiple gun shots. Also revealed: We immerse ourselves in the world of Geoffspresso...

Stories this week include: Grieving terrapin stolen from family home. Local councillor vows to 'protect the water' of local pool following vandalism.  Couple find disproportionate amount of insects in vegetables. Man refuses to apologise for 'hilarious visual joke' satirising fast food chain's 'snappy' service. Also revealed: We continue to make assumptions about our listenership...

Stories this week include: Bus company apologises for absurd diversion route. Waitrose reinstate silver service in cafes after pensioners threaten boycott.  Dorset County Council employs private militia to eradicate gangs of rough squirrels. Family relieved to find beloved relative in London Transport lost property office. Also revealed: We attempt to find the Cat Ripper of Old Croydon Town...

Stories this week include: Mystery box containing mannequin dressed as Osama Bin Laden washes up on Boscombe beach. Anarchistic haircut leads to outbreaks of Fascism in school.  Police activia looking for suspected in drive-biotic yoghurt attack on croquet teacher. One too many viewings of 'Jaws' leads to absurd espionage claim. Also revealed: Rob makes a shocking and tragic confession (I really am sorry)... Listeners can submit stories via Facebook, Twitter or e-mail: lapodcast.net@gmail.com

Stories this week include: Couple discuss the physical and mental challenges of married life. Pizza chain finds novel way of promoting brand by scanning the frequencies of every emergency service.  Set of windows threats to destabilize humanity. Woman shaken by sight of sunlight in local park. Also revealed: We give a history lesson on men called Robert Stephenson... Listeners can submit stories via Facebook, Twitter or e-mail: lapodcast.net@gmail.com

Stories this week include: Steep rise in heartbroken horses reported by RSPCA. Old milkman delivers tedious anecdote.  Excessive sunshine brings rail network to its knees. Wild boar hunter looking for excuse to kill again. Also revealed: The social media cull continues... Listeners can submit stories via Facebook, Twitter or e-mail: lapodcast.net@gmail.com

Stories this week include: Man demands girlfriend and cat be charged by police in relation to missing bacon. Dangerous driver pilloried for ludicrous choice of driving music.  Careless farmer concedes that missing sheep may have simply wandered off. Holidaymakers shocked to discover continent full of foreigners. Also revealed: All listener. Some filler. Listeners can submit stories via Facebook, Twitter or e-mail: lapodcast.net@gmail.com

Stories this week include: Jim Morrison surfaces to comment on vociferous wind turbine. Mascot of away team deemed to be national security threat.  Unpopular character from totalitarian regime booed at Star Wars premier. Cross-dressing drug addict acquitted of trespassing into 'panda enclosure'. Also revealed: The donations keep rolling in...   Listeners can submit stories via Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or e-mail: lapodcast.net@gmail.com