Factory Sealed Retro Gaming Podcast

Time's are a changing! This is just a quick announcement regarding the new show we just launched called Factory Sealed - Sidequests.

A mysterious house filled with puzzles, monsters, and a suspicious man in tight denim shorts waiting to put holes in our discs awaits us as we tackle the Gamecube remake of Resident Evil.

Expect much splurging about the PS5 just before Vincenzo Valentine is back from his Italian Escape to battle the forces of Deepground in Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII.

A new generation is upon us, but we're still in a dream as we play stealthy jungle classic Metal Gear Solid 3: Snek Eator, while Eric is forced to stymie his excitement over getting a PS5 a week before everyone else.

Who needs professionals qualified to do their jobs? We can get through Fatal Frame (well, Dan can) armed only with a camera and a giant ladder borrowed from a decorator.

Two become one as Eric and Mike freshen up with a new scent, share some pillow talk about the PS5 and Xbox Series X, and spank some monkeys in Ape Escape.

Back in the day we only had the PS5 to pre-order, filthy cakes to buy, and Nazis to shoot in Return to Castle Wolfenstein...and we were happy. And we were grateful.

We're getting all hot at the thought of playing Parasite Eve, but then our temperatures really start flaring off the scale because of Mike's very interesting shower designs.

We've got a significant hard-on for several games this week, including Mortal Shell, Fall Guys, Salt and Sanctuary, and Microsoft Flight Simulator, but it unfortunately gets downgraded to a semi for the second half of Grandia.

The Summer RPG returns once again as we join Justin and Sue for an adventure through the first half of Grandia! - Also included is an extended discussion on unusual bathroom hygiene/snacks, easy mode t-shirts, and Mike's massive Xbox fanboy.

This show is a triumph and we're making a note here - huge success, as we tackle Valve's puzzling classic Portal.

Samoose is once again loose aboot this hoose as we boot up Metroid Prime, gush over the big PS5 reveal, and give Eric a very special new job in our impromptu band.

Alan's constantly losing his trusty flashlight and fighting against both a nonsensical plot and a Dark Presence as we tackle Remedy's psychological thriller, Alan Wake!

It's finally here! Final Fantasy 7 Remake is out and we've all beaten it! Join us for both a spoiler-free analysis and - if you've finished it - a full spoilery chat too! Hey, at least it isn't Zelda.

The Half-Life of this twaddle of a show may have come and gone, but that isn't gonna stop us! We polish off our finest crowbar, fight off the giant testicle aliens of the original Half Life, and talk about Mike and Dan's early copies of Final Fantasy VII Remake.

We've reached our monumental 200th episode! Let's celebrate by recapping Tom's bachelor party, playing some Super Mario World, and listening to your amazing messages.

Unwisely once again, Dan and Mike let Eric loose talking about Mega Man Zero... at great length. There's plenty of time to splurge everywhere over the Final Fantasy VII Remake Demo at length beforehand though!

Grab your vibrating kneecaps as we pit Penis Thrust Man, Lady Butt Cheeks, and Mini-Me against hordes of enemies in an attempt to decide which of the first three Golden Axe games is superior.

Near, far, wherever you are, close the top half of your door, cozy up in your meat sweats, and gaze far across the distance into the Sonic movie you've seen every night in your Dreams before dozing off to Revenge of Shinobi, which feels like it was made to last for a lifetime.

Pop an Alka Seltzer and join us for some context-sensitive fun through Conker’s Bad Fur Day; an adventure that incorporates giant operatic shit mountains, sadistic teddy bears, Liverpudlian dung beetles and a short, cat-hating grim reaper. No, we didn’t make that up.