Step By Stapp Podcast

All Dana wants for her 17th birthday is to have a Sprite-fueled, no-parents party at a weird motel. Her mom, Carol, forbids it so she lies and sneaks out to have the sober high school party of her dreams. And what are the odds that Carol and Frank booked a room in the same hotel for the sole purpose of getting freaky? The odds are 100%.Plus, Chris & Rob pitch a Step by Step reboot that would be right at home alongside Fuller House, Girl Meets World, and Game of Thrones. And the best part is they have cast themselves as new characters. Don't miss the dramatic reading of Step by Step : The New Class in the final segment. Jeff Bezos, give us money. 

On Step by Step, Cody is sad when his old man friend Walter from the nursing home dies. But then he's happy when he finds out the old man left him 250K in his will. Now Cody has to deal with all the kids in the clan who want a piece of his inheritance. Scott Stapp also took Walter's death pretty hard when he wrote the song "On My Sleeve" and of course we will explain how the episode and song are related.Plus, Chris & Rob record at Rob's house for a change since he has the sniffles. Chris thinks Rob may be close to death and tries to get into his will at the last minute. Then the guys both decide to try heroin and see what happens. 

Frank's high school buddy Scooter comes to visit and makes everyone in the family and the viewing audience uncomfortable. Also Cody gets a pet turkey. And wouldn't you know it, the Creed song "Stand Here With Me" is also about those things. Plus Chris & Rob have a guys' night, which of course consists of drinking light beer and looking at the adult magazines Chris stole from his uncle's house. Unfortunately they forgot they invited returning guest Erika to also be on this episode, forcing them to break their strict guys' night "no chicks allowed" rule.

When Rob discovers an overdue video rental from 1994 has bankrupted him, friend/enemy of the show Martii takes a controlling stake of the podcast and institutes some creative changes. Weirdly, season 2 episode 11 of Step by Step also sees an overdue video rental causing problems when the youngest kid in the clan, Brendan, loses a rented VHS under his bed. Logically, Brendan decides to leave home forever. Later, we find out what Scott Stapp thinks about Brendan's transgressions by analyzing the Creed song "Faceless Man." This all makes complete sense.

On Step by Step, Dana & J.T. face off in the school election for Student Body President. But even though Dana is more qualified, J.T. wins as voters flock to his tell-it-like-it-is outsider persona. Oh boy. Plus, Chris & Rob run against each other for President of Step by Stapp. This podcast campaign has everything - attack ads, heated debates, and finally the tension of election night as both votes are counted. Who will win? Who will lose? And will Billy Joel seek legal action for using his copyrighted music? Listen and see!

Returning guests and resident Art of Anarchy experts Steve Schifini & Julian Morena (aka The Fart Boys) are here to help decipher how the Step by Step episode where Cody reveals his virginity inspired Scott Stapp to write a new song in 2017. Plus, Chris & Rob get deep during a very serious interview about Julian's new album. We find out all the scintillating details such as the name of the album and how many tracks are on it. Also, Steve discusses his rival podcast and we try to figure out once and for all whether ventriloquism is real or not. Julian Morena's new album "Kind of Nice" is available now at julianmorena.com - go pick it up if you like music!

Dana has a date with Mike "The Mover" Walters, who everybody knows just wants sex. Luckily Patrick Duffy is there to c-block her at every turn. Plus, Chris & Rob report on the recent Scott Stapp interview in which he reveals that he spoke with the ghost of Scott Weiland in a tour bus bathroom. The news story is light on details, so Chris & Rob reenact the encounter to show you EXACTLY how that conversation happened. In this episode, you will also find out how to prove the number of times you've had sex in your life, and how to correctly play the board game Mouse Trap.

Suzanne Somers' most attractive daughter, Karen, gets a chance to go to Chicago and be ogled by old men as a teen model. For some reason, Carol doesn't like this. Will Karen see that her mother is just looking out for her best interests? Or will she abandon her family and become the glamorous supermodel she's always wanted to be? I honestly can't remember. Plus, Chris & Rob try their hand at NPR-style investigative journalism podcasting and create their own version of the wildly popular S-Town. They reach out to a mysterious Step by Step fan twitter account and meet Bob K. Through a series of phone calls with Bob, Chris delves into the complicated and unexpected past of one obsessive sitcom fan. Is it more compelling than anything NPR has ever done? Yes, and thank you for asking.

To celebrate the 1 year anniversary of the podcast, we did a live show at Madison Square Garden before 20,000 screaming, adoring, panty-throwing fans. Luckily a soundproof recreation of Chris's dining room was constructed on the MSG stage, where we could record in peace and quiet. Helping us celebrate the big show are guests and real life step siblings Erika McCarthy and Brandon Mabry. We get down to the big questions like: how realistic were the depictions of step siblings on Step by Step? And who had better balls - Cody or J.T.? Oh, and it just so happens that Creed's most famous song "Higher" is about Season 2 Ep 6 of Step by Step where the kids all work at a diner. Plus, later in the show Brandon violates the rules of the podcast by impersonating Scott Stapp and thus is forced to read an old Jay Leno monologue in the voice of Scott Stapp. Plus everyone joins in for an impromptu reenactment of the time Creed caused a scene on an airplane. This anniversary special truly has something for

Step by Step again steals directly from 1992's popular culture and does an episode where the family brings home a giant but lovable St. Bernard. But when the dog gets between Frank & Carol's love making, they swiftly kick it out of their home forever. Plus, Chris discovers a contest in which indie rock veterans The Shins are giving away their trusty touring van - which happens to look EXACTLY LIKE CODY'S VAN. This of course fits perfectly with the podcast's upcoming world tour, so Chris & Rob cover a Shins song live on the show in order to win. They do their best despite the fact that Rob cannot play any instruments or sing, and has never heard a Shins song. In other words, give us dat van!

J.T. plagiarizes Wayne's World for his public access show while Frank and Carol argue about whether or not they would have intercourse with strangers on a desert island. When Frank says the wrong thing, Carol withholds sex (as per usual). Plus, as the one year anniversary of Step by Stapp approaches, we decide to celebrate by going on a world tour to perform live podcasts for each of our listeners. We even plan on making it down to Australia to see the one dude who downloads every episode there. Only thing is we need you to pay for our travel costs. Also, Rob shares an original "yo mama" joke he came up with in the shower.

Frank Lambert (Patrick Duffy (The Duff)) gets jealous after his daughter won't shut up about how cool her friend's dad is. He does what any father would do in this situation and challenges the other dad to a Velcro wall jumping contest. Turns out the new Scott Stapp / Art of Anarchy single "The Madness" is about this very season 2 episode. What are the odds? Plus, we discuss a couple of podcast haters who dedicated an entire episode of their show to bashing our show. We talk about their criticisms of us (example: we suck) and discuss our feelings after these meanies were mean to us. We also get a rare mid-show call from Blank Check superfan Martii, who gives us his own unfiltered reviews of both podcasts.

Guests Steve Schifini and Julian Morena are here to discuss the episode of Step by Step where J.T. has to take a test on Shakespeare's Hamlet, but is discriminated against because he's a jock. And honestly, when will the jocks get their day? We also point out some (obvious) similarities between Step by Step and The Godfather Part II. Plus, we share stories of having faked the reading of classic works of literature in school, break some Creed related news, and even bring a few underreported issues to light that you won't hear about in the mainstream media. Namely: what if people had penises for hands?

Dana & Cody take the SATs together despite the fact that Cody is 20, already has a career, and is probably not allowed within 1000 feet of a school. To everyone's surprise except the viewers, Dana does not do as well as the Code-man and decides her life is not worth living. Then all of the kids steal Frank's clothes and Patrick Duffy shows off his buff new physique. Plus in this special late night recording session, Chris solves America's health care crisis with a foolproof idea that basically amounts to Carrot Top becoming the entire nation's primary care physician. We also learn which former professional athlete Rob's mother looks like, and the Creed song "In America" will make you question everything you thought you knew about Stapp Theory.

After Frank pushes Carol & Karen to enter a mother/daughter beauty contest at the local old white guy club, they are immediately verbally assaulted by said old white guys. But you know the old saying - "the show must go on regardless of unwanted sexual advances!" They perform a cheery duet much to the delight of old white guys and young white guys alike. Plus, Chris & Rob make a bet for $55 on whether Rob can go the full episode without singing a Destiny's Child song. They also each reveal a fact about themselves that the other doesn't know, and though it's never on the agenda, the topic of boners is earnestly discussed.

For Frank Lambert's 40th birthday, Carol gives him flying lessons. When the pilot immediately tries to commit murder suicide in the air, Frank must land the plane himself. Also, Cody installs a new shower head. Episode 21 of Step by Step truly has it all. Plus, we recap our New Year's Eve celebrations, resolutions for 2017, and eventually wind up pitching a new sitcom based on the notion of an Egyptian prisoner forced to live on campus with a stoner frat boy. And who could have guessed that Creed's "Rain" would actually be the perfect sitcom theme song? We could have, and we did. Welcome, Y2K17!

Chris & Rob set out to do just another episode of the show; but things quickly go awry when a request for a day off leads Chris to cancel the recording & kick Rob (a.k.a. Bad Boy Bobby Cratchit) out of his house. Chris is soon visited by some colorful spirits as they try to show him the true meaning of Christmas before it's too late. This is a completely original premise. Enjoy this episode around the yule log with your family, unless you are a copyright lawyer in which case please ignore the musical selections. A new holiday classic is born!

To celebrate our 20th episode, special guest Erika returns to the show to analyze the Step by Step where Frank finds out his elderly father is dating a stripper. Then we listen to and discuss the Creed smash hit "With Arms Wide Open". We all agree that it is, indeed, a song. Plus, Erika recalls a childhood memory of acting out the Sally Jessy Raphael Show into a Talkboy, and we revive the show with our own take on it. Chris & Rob recount tales of going to the worst strip club in town, and we learn about the world's only self-pleasuring standup comedian: Buddy Whackit.

The Lamberts & Fosters get invited to a country club, where they immediately embarrass themselves by being low class. Cody gets an oven installed in his van and Dana has the hots for a rich guy's son. Plus, Chris & Rob reenact the first Creed Thanksgiving and Chris asks to borrow Rob's leaf blower. Then don't miss our brand new segment, "Bobby Baggins' Black Friday Brand Blast", and the guys discuss getting the podcast transcribed so future 6th grade classes can put on school plays using the transcripts.

Carol goes back to school to get her degree and Frank agrees to take care of the kids in exchange for sex. Believe it or not, that's almost a direct quote from Episode 18 of Step by Step. And obviously the Creed song "Say I" is about this very same episode. Plus - Chris & Rob ponder why microphones look like penises, read their very first fan mail letter, and later discuss whether various historical figures may have known karate. Keep an ear out for Rob dissing Creed, which of course then forces him to read a passage from Leonardo Da Vinci's wikipedia page as Scott Stapp.