Brine Weekly

It's time to catch up with old friends, and order the usual: some fries, some dog food...you know, the usual. Just don't choke before your head melts.

This week, we take a trip to a very special place. Where a nominal fee can solve just about every problem. Where vaping by the retention pond is a town pastime. Where Big Dog shirts are considered business casual. Where a mayor saves up to buy a motorcycle, and with it...happiness? Welcome to Fever Ditch, Ohio

Corporations are people too, which is why we're bringing you this special all-corporate episode of Brine Weekly. Some companies make a lot of different household products that we use and enjoy every day. Some make featureless objects that you have to assemble yourself. And some just bring you pictures of big goofy weiners. They're all special and important parts of modern society, and their underrepresented voices deserve to be heard much more than your dumb voice does, loser.

Healthcare is a major issue facing our society today. Many people do not have access to healthcare and must try to get free treatment from their medical examiner friends. Others only have access to healthcare when it is too late all their family is lost at The Fight. The government should do something so that people can have healthcare. It is bad for people to die because they do not have healthcare, but, sadly, it does, happen every day, it seems. This and many other issues should be fixed by our congress and also president. In conclusion, someone should figure out what Lindsey Buckingham is doing and if he is nude.

What do online dating, sauce cults, and the weekend have in common? No, really, I'm asking you. I just want to find out. Please tell me! I've been trying to solve this riddle for 35 years!

This is not my beautiful, inescapable office. This is not my beautiful job as a parole officer. Dogs, wizards, food slurries, and the deceptive nature of FX's Justified discussed throughout.

If you're looking to spice up your sex life with a new computer, then have we got a deal for you! You'll just have to endure an oily handshake, some good (or possibly bad?) breath, and a baby that could bench press you. Either way, you're gonna spend about $9,000.

This week, we bring you a scene from a used book store. There is a woman, and a tiny man, and a large, loud man. Concepts and images are presented: the image of Ender from Ender's Game as Sonic the Hedgehog. A dollar bill worn as a tunic. Canings. A defunct book review radio program. Kangaroo milk. Enjoy.

What started out as a fun three hour tour for the squad turned into twelve years on Cop Island. This week: Deputy Razzle finds a HAM radio on the beach. Will this be the squad's salvation, or is it just an attempt by the Blue Crab Gang to identify the rat in their midst? Find out this week, on COP ISLAND.

It's important to clap so you can sync up everybody's tracks. It's important to do this every day, as frequently as possible.

EXCLUSIVE AUDIO retrieved from the highly private and embarrassing double sex therapy session of two total weirds. Also, order at a classic American diner and then diet off the calories with the help of ZORKON!

You're surrounded. A man is on acid jazz, and the Grape Ape wants to tell you his political opinions. You're surrounded. In stereo.

You meet in an inn, and embark on an epic quest to discover how Martha is doing, how you'll die 20 consecutive times, and various other facts about chests, cats, and ray guns.

Have you been to Germany? Have you REALLY? Are you willing to fight Gobbo for a crab brooch (worth 500G)? How much do you know about the lost alternate universe Seinfeld episodes? I thought so.

Dusty McClavin helps you get your chakras aligned for the new year. Paige's Pages returns with a new spin. And a chance meeting between two men chances again. All this and more...INSIDE YOUR COMPUTER.

The Libertine is back, and this time he's THIRSTY. Speaking of which, do you VAPE, bro? If you do, you may end up in the HOSPITAL, which is not a good place to spend THE NEW YEAR. Okay, I covered all the sketches. Can I go now? Please. Please, I'm so hungry. Please let me out. I just want to see my family agai--

We’re in hiding his week, so please enjoy Fritz Milchmacher’s classic sound experiment Yogurt Master. Actually, it’s by Michael Arthur (who also does our music).

It’s time to coat your family in yogurt and gather around the fire to get all crusty for the holidays. Bring along the sounds and smells of the midwest, a sexy slip-and-slide, and an escape pod. Just in case.

Celebrate the glorious locomotive! Trains move along a track! How delightful! O trains, our souls exalt in thee! Gouge them fully with your powerful pistons! Fill our stomachs with Hot Pockets and our OkCupid profiles with lies! Purchase us XXS men's pants at Lane Bryant! Amen.

This week we take you on a tour of some of our favorite graves, get some bad news from your doctor, and give you some tips on where to put your drum kit. Plus a promotional message from the local Dildo Emporium.