Solo Parent Society

On so many levels, the life of a single parent can be heartbreaking, over and over again. After experiencing repeated hurts, it can be hard to believe that something good will come. Our focus this month is on courage and this week, on the podcast, Dr. Chip Dodd joins Robert and Kimberley to talk about having the courage to find the gift of hurt.  Dr. Chip Dodd is the best-selling author of seven books including one which serves as a foundational tool for many of the things we do here at Solo Parent Society, called “The Voice of the Heart.” For over 30 years, Chip has poured his heart and experience in education into serving others. He is a counselor, mentor, speaker, author, a friend of ours, and he is committed to helping people know themselves better by living fully in relationship with each other and, ultimately, with God.   So much fruit has come from Dr. Dodd’s work. In his book “The Voice of the Heart”, he shares that courage is the “gift of hurt” and, in order for each of us to reach tha

Guests David and Helen Smallbone joined the Solo Parent Society podcast with Robert and Kimberly to talk about the importance of two essential communities for single parents:  Cross-generational community and  Habitual community. These communities are significant. Cross-generational relationships are more than mother-daughter or father-son connections. The Bible is full of stories of the younger generation being mentored and taught by the older generation and we see countless examples of elders passing on wisdom.  Anchoring relationships like these are so important particularly during times of struggle. David and Helen Smallbone moved from Australia to the United States many years ago with no money, with their six kids and another one on the way. God used their most difficult circumstances and seemingly impossible season to build an incredible story and influence around the world. Helen homeschooled all seven of their children while David set out to provide for his family in the music industry.

Sometimes during our solo season, we just don’t know where we fit in. We feel like neighbors are talking about us, like we are walking on eggshells, like the places we once belonged are no more for us. Friendships and relationships we had before seem different now. It can be awkward not knowing how or where you fit in as a single parent.  We hear often from single parents that they just don’t know where they belong anymore. And, unfortunately, there are some deep wounds that single parents have experienced from no longer feeling comfortable in communities they used to be part of, like church and small groups.  As we consider how to fit into community as single parents, we may need to look at potential messages we may be sending to others that can create an abyss between us and them. We may need to consider some of the things we are telling ourselves. To begin to fit into community again and not feel so alienated, we need to develop some new strategies. For the full show notes, tips and links visit S

Serving in your community can be a powerful way for families to remember they can make a difference. As single parents, we can feel busy and overwhelmed, and our lives may look different now, but we still have something to give.  As we talk about community, Brian Myers, single dad of five kids, pastor, and leader of several non-profits with a heart for outreach shares more. Serving played a huge part in his solo journey. He was already in ministry and serving in the church world when he became a solo parent. His kids were already involved in serving with him from time to time, but God revealed to Brian during that time to have them do even more. Even if there were times the serving came from a sense of duty, obligation, or even some guilt, Brian saw God do something beautiful with it regardless of the motivation.  The benefits of serving as a family allowed Brian to see attributes in each of his kids that were unique to them. He saw their strengths and he saw them change and grow. Where once there m

Our theme this month is community and what better place to start than talking about the community we create in our weekly Solo Parent Society groups. Life is so full of surprises as single parents, the last thing we may want to do is jump into something unknown with potential strangers and sharing. We hear from so many single parents that they love the idea of Solo Parent Society, but they’re scared to join. And this makes sense! After hurt, you want to guard your heart and it can feel uncomfortable.  We know community is important. It can be very intimidating jumping into something out of our comfort zone. Who will be in the group? Will there be people with ulterior motives?  Today we are taking a glimpse into what happens in our groups and what single parents can expect. When Solo Parent Society first started, our groups met in person in different places across the U.S. When Covid hit, our groups stopped meeting until one of our leaders, single mom, Elizabeth, approached Robert and asked about sta

Anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults and are the most common mental diagnosis in America. Dr. John Delony, best-selling author, mental health expert, host of “The Dr. John Delony show”, joins Robert and Kim to talk about how to calm anxiety. He has two doctorate degrees and over two decades of experience in counseling, crisis response and higher education. He is also part of the Dave Ramsey team of personalities.  Dr. Delony shares that, “At its core, anxiety is our body telling us we are out of step relationally, that we are in a situation that isn’t safe, or that, as we look into the future, we cannot control what is coming next. It’s not a sign that we’re broken or that our brains are malfunctioning. It’s the other way around. It’s telling us that our brain is working great. It’s designed to tell us we are under a threat and we need to look at our entire universe to find out what is going on.” He also shares that cognitive dissonance is when we have two different competing thoughts or emotions a

Each one of us has conflict in our lives right now in some way or another. Discovering how to have peace even during times of conflict is invaluable. The word peace appears 237 times in the Old Testament. Peace is NOT the absence of conflict. It’s the sense of well-being during conflict. The Hebrew word translated as peace is shalom. According to Strong’s Concordance, shalom means completeness, wholeness, soundness, and welfare. It comes from the root word to make amends and make whole and complete. We are not running from conflict How do we find peace and wellness even during conflict? In finding peace, there’s an action step. We can proactively make peace or seek it out. Oswald Chambers says we have to be active about kicking moods out of our lives, “Moods nearly always our rooted in some physical circumstance not in our true inner self. It is a continual struggle not to listen to the moods which arise because of our physical condition, but we must never submit to them for a second. We have to pick ourselv

Single parents can face a lot of chaos at home with their kids. Whether with siblings fighting, the struggle to maintain routine, or trying to calm the troops when everyone is tired or hungry, some days can feel like a pressure cooker. Our fuses can get short and our attitudes can escalate. What can we do, as single parents, to cultivate more peace at home, for ourselves and our kids? We all want a peaceful environment at home but that can be difficult to create and to maintain while juggling so many things. We want our kids to have a sense of normalcy even with the messiness of being parented alone for anyone reason. As parents, it is up to us to take responsibility for cultivating peace at home. We set the mood with our kids. For the full show notes, tips and links click - https://soloparentsociety.com/blog/2021/06/10/cultivating-peace-at-home To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book click - https://soloparentsociety.com/welcome-toolkit Join our daily meditational dev

Cultivating peace with our past is difficult but necessary. So, how do we find peace after experiencing hard things in our past? Whether we are the ones that left a relationship and left scars in our wake, or there have been things done to us that we replay in our minds, the accusations of others and even the voices from our youth can be overwhelming. Things from our past play out loud in our present. The enemy loves to remind us of our failures and the pain of our past. We can feel bombarded by old tapes, and, when we are walking alone, we have nobody to help us refute them.  All of us live with regrets and even lies from our past experiences that show up in our present lives. If we don’t deal with them, they will very likely repeat themselves. It isn’t fun to face hard, traumatic experiences or words spoken over us or things we have done. We’ve all done things we wish we hadn’t done or had done differently. To be free of them, there are steps we can take to experience peace. Elizabeth Cole joins Robert

It is important to be deliberate about growing but equally important is paying attention to the little steps that cumulatively make big changes. Here are the questions we asked our solos that we discussed. Take time to reflect on your joinery and write down you answers. We would love to see your answers if you feel comfortable and post them on our social media pages. Email your answers to the questions to info@SPSociety.org What are 2 areas that you recognize growth / accomplishments in your life in the last 12 months? What has been the hardest area of growth for you? What has been a surprising area of growth in your life in the last year? What has circumstance has caused the greatest growth recently? What area of life do you think God is growing you in right now?

Kathie Lee Gifford is a shining example of love and grace, but her growth didn’t come easily. She has known hard times. She shares how she brings everything to God with honesty, telling Him when she’s angry or crushed, when she doesn’t feel close to Him, or even feels betrayed by Him, “Because He can take that kind of honesty. He’s made for it.”, she says.  One of her favorite stories of hardship is the story of Hagar, a single mom who ends up alone in the desert, heartbroken, and feeling invisible. God meets he her there and she calls Him “El Roi, the God Who Sees Me”. Kathie Lee collaborated with Nicole C. Mullens to write a song called, “The God Who Sees.” Kathie Lee reiterates that the same Gd who saw Hagar sees us five thousand years later too. That’s the amazing beauty of the scriptures and the song celebrates the story of Hagar, Ruth, David, and Mary Magdalene. God met each one where they were with love and provision.   Kathie Lee shares that after encountering God, Mary Magdalene and th

When we talk about growing in grace, Kathie Lee Gifford is a shining example. She is an American icon, a talented actress, musical artist, and television personality. And she’s been through so many things. Yet, she continues to live a life epitomized by grace and love. When asked where her tenacity and drive come from, Kathie says she is a lifetime student of God’s word and reads it every day. And, when she reads it, “nobody in the Bible retired. They kept doing what God put them on this earth to do”. Kathie Lee loves to work and she thinks it’s a valuable gift God gives us for our purpose, our self-worth, and our growth. Being responsible to meet a deadline or keep people employed, and then mix that with the Holy Spirit, gives her purpose every morning and keeps her going. Kathie Lee says she learned from Paul Newman long ago that, “If I’ve got a pulse, I’ve got a purpose.” She has never entertained the idea of retirement. She has walked with the Lord since she was twelve years old, and while she doesn’t kno

Trust is hard when you’ve felt betrayed and left alone. We wonder if we will ever be able to trust again. Trust can exist but there is a risk. This topic of rebuilding trust after hurt and destroyed relationships is one we hear often in our Solo Parent groups. So, how do we build trust again?  Single mom, Elizabeth, joins Robert and Kimberley to discuss rebuilding trust. As single parents, many of us have felt a breach of trust at some point or another. Our spouse’s affair, marital abandonment, and the fact that God would allow something bad to happen is difficult to process. This kind of hurt is one of the primary wounds we carry. The topic trust can be dark, heavy, hard, and scary. When we’ve experienced abandonment, not necessarily through divorce or loss but even early on in our childhoods, deep wounding and hurts occur. We carry those hurts with us into our relationships and then, when things fall apart, the pain and damage is even greater. We find ourselves asking again, “Who can I trust?” That que

Many single parents struggle with feeling confident. Whether rooted in messages we received in childhood, or the experiences we’ve had in past relationships, confidence can elude us. Sometimes we just don’t feel like we are enough. Single mom, Marissa, joins Robert and Kimberley as they talk about how to grow in confidence. Staring down the road of so many unknowns as a single parent can leave us wondering if we have what it takes. When Marissa became a single mom, she cried out to God and said, “I can’t do this and here’s why”, and God said, “Let me show you that we can. Let me show you that it’s going to be okay, but you’re right, you can’t, but I can.” Recently, she had shoulder surgery and while once she might have thought, “How will I ever do this on my own?”, she’s found that it’s been remarkable to discover that now she is confident God will show up with what she needs. Being thrust into single parenthood, often unexpectedly, we don’t always go into our new circumstances with full confidence. Sometime

Single parents, our lives have been ripped apart… just fragments of the way we used to be. We can tend to feel completely broken and empty. The idea of feeling whole again can seem so far out of reach. How can we move towards finding wholeness when all we see are the scraps of what used to be. Often, we don't even know how we feel other than defeated and broken. Today we talk about how to feel whole again with our expert guest. For over 30 years, Dr. Chip Dodd has poured his heart, experience, and education into serving others. He is a counselor, mentor, speaker, and author of bestselling books. One of which comes up regularly in our Solo Parent Society groups called the 'voice of the heart', which invites us to know our hearts to better know ourselves and live fully in relationships with others and ultimately God. Chip explains that, in his view, Solo Parent Society is just a name for, what do you do when dreams get broken? What do you do when your heart gets pierced? It's about recovery of heart, inviting

As single parents, it’s hard to have a sense of stability especially when things seem to be always moving and shifting. We know how important stability is for our kids but when there are so many things out of our control, how do we find stability when nothing seems stable. Elizabeth joins Robert and Kimberley to talk about this very thing as her life is full of all kinds of change right now. She just recently walked away from a full-time job that she enjoyed. It paid well, she was doing well there, it was stable, and she had been there a long time, but God called her out of that role. She is now starting her own business, which is very new, different, and scary. She’s never done anything like this before and she’s a single mom. With all the change, there are many anxious moments, but Elizabeth has found a sense of stability that those around her can see. First and foremost, God has brought her through all of this. She has clung closely to God for the last six months in a way she never did before. She sees sh

"Relational stability after a failed relationship, or a painful loss of any kind, can seem like a lofty goal. As single parents, we may find ourselves bringing our hurts, fears, or mistrust into new relationships. So how do we create relational stability as we move forward?Robert Beeson and Kimberley Mitchell were single parents for eight years. Elizabeth Cole and Marissa Lee are both single moms. Robert asked Kim, “How long did it take for you to believe that you were able to have a new relationship and how could you tell?”“When God doesn’t bring someone, that’s a good way to tell”, says Kimberley. After her divorce, Kim dated someone for a while but quickly realized it wasn’t going to work out and that she needed to focus on her kids and her relationship with God. It’s easy to react out of loneliness and jump into something quickly but Kim says she is glad she ended up having to wait for another relationship, but the waiting wasn’t easy. She had meltdowns with God asking what was wrong with her and if she

"The fear of the unknowns as a single parent, being unsure of how we will provide for our kids, with so many things changing, can leave us wondering if we will ever have enough. It’s uncomfortable being in a position where you feel like you don’t have enough, physically, or emotionally and to wonder if you ever will.The life of a solo parent often feels like it could be summed up in that one phrase – we don’t have enough. We don’t have enough time, we don’t have enough money, we don’t have enough “me”. There never seems to be enough. So, how can we have enough when we don’t have ‘enough’? Single mom, Marissa Lee shares how she has struggled with never feeling like she has enough or is enough while raising her boys alone. And it’s something she’s afraid they may struggle with too. And as a single parent, especially if you struggled in your marriage or past relationships, we even feel like we aren’t “good enough” as a person. We just don’t feel like we measure up. It’s common to feel like this, so, how do we de

When our kids struggle with anxiety, we can feel so helpless, unsure of what to do. And anxiety among kids is increasing. Whether due to the pandemic, or for other reasons, anxiety is on the rise in every age group. Stress is at an all-time high.Today we are going to explore ways to help our kids with anxiety with Dr. Chip Dodd, counselor, speaker, mentor, and author of “The Voice of the Heart” and numerous other books centered on emotions and healing. What is anxiety?Dr. Dodd shares that, “Anxiety is a physiological, central nervous system reaction, to thoughts we are having about anticipated disaster. It is always related to future trepidation about something happening that we’re not sure about.” Anxiety leads us to seek something outside of ourselves to control and quell those feelings of uncertainty. Fear, however, is an emotion. Fear tells us we are in danger of something happening that we don’t want to happen. It’s a feeling we’ve been given that allows us to ask for help. When we express a fear vulner

This has been such a weird season because of the pandemic. So many of our weekly activities have stopped including being able to go to church regularly. For many of us, church has been an important lifeline and a vital part of our spiritual lives. But, due to Covid, for all practical purposes, churches have been shut down leaving a void for us and for our kids. So how do we spiritually guide our kids? Regular contributor, Marissa joins us to talk about this very thing. Many parents don’t feel equipped to spiritually guide their kids and Marissa feels the same way. None of us feel like experts in God. As single parents, we may even feel like it’s not our job to teach our kids about God, but God sees it differently. Not only is it important but it’s crucial we pour into our kids spiritually. Researcher George Barna says that what kids believe by the age of thirteen is very much what they will continue to believe and take with them into adulthood. That information is scary, but while our kids are still in our h