Solo Parent Society

Quality time with our kids is important! But how do we manage it, especially as single parents whose time is already so limited? And, sometimes we feel added pressure to make the time together a big deal. It helps to consider that kids remember the time you spend with them much more than the things you do. A recent study in the Journal of Marriage and Family says the quality of time is much more important than the amount of time parents spend with their children. It isn't about endless hours spent together—it's about how you choose to spend the time that truly matters. So, how do we, as single parents, create quality time moments with our kids when time is one of our rarest commodities? We considered four ways to create quality time with our kids: Rituals: Build quality time into the normal rituals of daily life. Instead of trying to add in more activities, make the ordinary moments count. Routines:  Establish routines that become meaningful ways to show up for your kids while you're in the car, during m

Parenting is meant to be a team sport, but now we find ourselves having to do it alone. Often we ourselves already feel beat up, defeated, and even like a failure, so to parent from that position, with no checks and balances, can seem overwhelming. Knowing that parenting in and of itself is hard, we can find ourselves wondering, "How can I raise healthy kids on my own when it is designed to done as a team with my spouse.?" To address this pervasive fear, Solo Parent Society has pulled together 5 anchoring approaches to help raise healthy kids. These are not behavior modifiers for correction; rather, these are simple but profoundly helpful approaches to developing successful and healthy adults. Giving focus and deliberate effort to instilling these principles while our kids are in our care will better prepare them for their own enriched lives as adults. We call them our 5 R's: RELATIONSHIP This principle is paramount to all the others. We must teach (and model) the value and power of healthy relationships. Tea

As a single parent, sometimes we can feel like there's a wall between us and God because we believe we've failed and are a disappointment, so we see ourselves as unworthy. For some of us that have lost our spouse to death we may feel angry for God letting this happen. These things can lead to comparing ourselves to other people that seem to have it all together spiritually or otherwise. Here is the good news, knowing God's love can actually be more intimate during this solo season than in any other season, and it is the basis for everything we try to be about at Solo Parent Society. Here are the 3 areas of focus that we employ at SPS that help us encounter God's love. Confession Confession is expressing the good and bad - The doubts and praise. Ultimately it is about expressing with our mouths (or writing it down) our completely transparent and honest feelings. A few questions that might be helpful: How do you feel when you think about coming into God's presence? What do you think he may be disappointed in

As a single parent, sometimes we can feel like there’s a wall between us and God because we believe we’ve failed and are a disappointment, so we see ourselves as unworthy. For some of us that have lost our spouse to death we may feel angry for God letting this happen. These things can lead to comparing ourselves to other people that seem to have it all together spiritually or otherwise. Here is the good news, knowing God’s love can actually be more intimate during this solo season than in any other season, and it is the basis for everything we try to be about at Solo Parent Society. Here are the 3 areas of focus that we employ at SPS that help us encounter God’s love. Confession Confession is expressing the good and bad - The doubts and praise. Ultimately it is about expressing with our mouths (or writing it down) our completely transparent and honest feelings. A few questions that might be helpful: How do you feel when you think about coming into God’s presence? What do you think he may be disappointed in? P

As a single parent, sometimes we can feel like there's a wall between us and God because we believe we've failed and are a disappointment, so we see ourselves as unworthy. For some of us that have lost our spouse to death we may feel angry for God letting this happen. These things can lead to comparing ourselves to other people that seem to have it all together spiritually or otherwise. Here is the good news, knowing God's love can actually be more intimate during this solo season than in any other season, and it is the basis for everything we try to be about at Solo Parent Society. Here are the 3 areas of focus that we employ at SPS that help us encounter God's love. Confession Confession is expressing the good and bad - The doubts and praise. Ultimately it is about expressing with our mouths (or writing it down) our completely transparent and honest feelings. A few questions that might be helpful: How do you feel when you think about coming into God's presence? What do you think he may be disappointed in? P

It can be overwhelming... conflicting, complicated and all consuming.  Conflicting - Exciting and terrifying Complicated - We are not just making decisions for ourselves, it effects my kids... potentially my ex. All consuming - Making room to do this means I am sacrificing another area and I am already spread thin. NOT TO MENTION finding a mate /or not is probably the biggest decision we will have to make. 3 elements to factor in as we consider dating again. 1. Identify where I am - self awareness Name you fears, it brings freedom - with awareness brings healing Name your feeling - its ok to be excited as much as afraid Who am I - am I someone that someone would want to date? What work do I still need to do? What are scars - Replace the word 'baggage' with 'bonus'? What are hopes? Give lots of grace - see this is not a one shot chance 2. Define what you are looking for, what we need and where you want to go First of all when thinking about this don't envision a specific person. Create a check list  

It can be overwhelming... conflicting, complicated and all consuming.  Conflicting - Exciting and terrifying Complicated - We are not just making decisions for ourselves, it effects my kids... potentially my ex. All consuming - Making room to do this means I am sacrificing another area and I am already spread thin. NOT TO MENTION finding a mate /or not is probably the biggest decision we will have to make. 3 elements to factor in as we consider dating again. 1. Identify where I am - self awareness Name you fears, it brings freedom - with awareness brings healing Name your feeling - its ok to be excited as much as afraid Who am I - am I someone that someone would want to date? What work do I still need to do? What are scars - Replace the word 'baggage' with 'bonus' What are hopes? Give lots of grace - see this is not a one shot chance 2. Define what you are looking for, what we need and where you want to go First of all when thinking about this don’t envision a specific person. Create a check list - Wr

It can be overwhelming... conflicting, complicated and all consuming.  Conflicting - Exciting and terrifying Complicated - We are not just making decisions for ourselves, it effects my kids... potentially my ex. All consuming - Making room to do this means I am sacrificing another area and I am already spread thin. NOT TO MENTION finding a mate /or not is probably the biggest decision we will have to make. 3 elements to factor in as we consider dating again. 1. Identify where I am - self awareness Name you fears, it brings freedom - with awareness brings healing Name your feeling - its ok to be excited as much as afraid Who am I - am I someone that someone would want to date? What work do I still need to do? What are scars - Replace the word 'baggage' with 'bonus' What are hopes? Give lots of grace - see this is not a one shot chance 2. Define what you are looking for, what we need and where you want to go First of all when thinking about this don't envision a specific person. Create a check list - Wr

We all want to love our kids well. Loving them while we are in a position of feeling broken and vulnerable can create problems - blind-spots. Sometimes we tend to spoil them, shielding them from life’s natural consequences because they have already had so much trauma. Or we can be triggered by seeing our ex in their behavior and inadvertently withdraw. Coming out of a relationship that leaves us with scars can leave us with blind-spots related to how we see and give healthy love to our family. Ultimately, we should parent our kids as God parents us. God parents us by investing in long term character over short term gratification. Even with all good intentions, we can develop blind-spots in 3 primary areas. -Overcompensating Making sure our kids have the latest and greatest. -Not giving consequences Not holding them accountable for their behavior or choices. -Crossing emotional boundaries We can become either become dependent or the opposite we withdraw. Not addressing any and/or all of these blind-spots can

We all want to love our kids well. Loving them while we are in a position of feeling broken and vulnerable can create problems - blind-spots. Sometimes we tend to spoil them, shielding them from life's natural consequences because they have already had so much trauma. Or we can be triggered by seeing our ex in their behavior and inadvertently withdraw. Coming out of a relationship that leaves us with scars can leave us with  blind-spots related to how we see and give healthy love to our family. Ultimately, we should parent our kids as God parents us. God parents us by investing in long term character over short term gratification. Even with all good intentions, we can develop blind-spots in 3 primary areas. -Overcompensating Making sure our kids have the latest and greatest. -Not giving consequences Not holding them accountable for their behavior or choices. -Crossing emotional boundaries We can become either become dependent or the opposite we withdraw. Not addressing any and/or all of these blind-spots