Everybody Hates Rand: A Wheel Of Time Podcast

For some reason we are discussing THREE Perrin chapters, which is just too much (31, 32, and 33). Suggested talking points: Optical Illusion Height, Ghost Perrin, Charles Dickens Propaganda, Casting Wil al'Seen, and Hairy Kit-Kats.  Transcript

This episode is a a bit short, just like the lives of Perrin's three dozen family members. For chapters 29 and 30, we talk about Cenn Buoy, Nynaeve's Greek Goddess Birth, the Toxic Monogamy Godzilla, and Litigation Phobia.   Transcript

In our efforts to ignore the actual events of chapters 27 and 28, we discussed Rambo Tactics, Diablo Ex Machina, Rows and Cravens, Gaul's (Correct) Priorities, and whether there's a Florida equivalent in Wheel of Time.   Transcript

This one's academic, y'all. To talk about chapters 25 and 26, Sally's taking us deep into cosmogony, the Universal Dad, and the power of perspective. And Emily's reminding us that women are EVIL and feminism is BAD. Are you taking NOTES?  Transcript

After some heavy editing, our Long Episode about chapters 23 and 24 is a reasonable length, and it's here to educate you about Debbie, the Archetypal Wife, Sniper No Sniping, Mat's Hierarchy of Needs, and Shark Law.  Transcript

In this episode, we discuss chapters 21 and 22. Sort of. Mostly, we ask a lot of questions, like: What does vibe check mean? Would Teen Narc make a good graphic novel? What does the "z" in "zaddy" stand for? And, hey, Sally? What's Boy Design?  Transcript

Speaking of nipple chafing, you can learn a lot about a lot of things in our coverage of chapters 18, 19, and 20! You'll learn about Curly Boys, Metaphorical Basements, when the wind was invented, and how boats float! Emily also mispronounces every boat term that there is!  Transcript

Come for the perfect casting of Loial, stay for the erotic Maze Runner fantasies. In our coverage of chapters 16 and 17, Sally teaches us all about toxic monogamy, and Emily advocates for an alternate timeline where Thom goes to Rhuidean.  Transcript

Three chapters in one episode! For chapters 13, 14, and 15, we argue on behalf of Equal Opportunity Sweat Tents, discuss Perrin and Faile's celebrity couple name (Ferret?), Mat's Fate Leash, and sign off with a Train Fainter. Transcript

Do you believe that falafel is the most dangerous game? Do you think they should probably just CGI Galad? And that Robert Jordan might be a Highlander? Did you get your FLU SHOT? This episode, where we cover chapters 11 and 12, might be for you.   Transcript 

Thanks to Lanfear's reappearance, our coverage of chapters 9 and 10 takes us back to EHR sex ed. Welcome! We talk about Wandering Wombs, Super Sperm, Chastity and Chivalry, plus Detective Lan and The Dark One's Rubric. Transcript

Welcome to EHR After Dark ... and get ready for the Bad Porn Energy that is explored at LENGTH in chapters 7 and 8. We're Hetrified by Elayne's "Eye" Contact, delighted by Les-Egg, and grateful for Sex Ed with Sally. Hey, does juice have texture? Transcript

What do Nihilist D&D Characters, Responsible Horniness, The Road Less Traveled, and Lan's Rorschach Test of Silk all have in common? Absolutely nothing. This week's chapters: chapters 5 & 6 in the Shadow Rising.  Transcript

This episode has everything: serious questions, like, is Sir Ian McKellen whimsical? Less serious questions, like, is Perrin's nose a mood ring? There's literary analysis on the relative physicality of characters. Also: Perrin's hot?? This week's chapters: Chapters 3 & 4 in The Shadow Rising.  Transcript

In this long episode (sorry), we're getting back to our roots! Sally has literary theory like intrusive fantasy and pathetic fallacy to discuss! Emily talks about the sequels to Gary Paulsen's "Hatchet" in excruciating detail! EHR's GREATEST HITS! This week's chapters: Chapter 2 in The Shadow Rising.  Transcript

Welcome to chapter one of The Shadow Rising! We're inventing Lesbian Chess, giving you an EHR make-up tutorial, and making sure you know Gawyn has a journal, NOT a diary. Remember: Don't do war crimes! This week's chapters: Chapter 1 in The Shadow Rising  Transcript

At some point in this episode, you'll hear a BEEP, and that is Emily derailing the podcast to eat her pizza. You'll also hear our Alt Shadow Rising Titles, our great Baz Luhrmann Circus Idea, and the return of Sally Googles Things. Transcript

As we prep for The Shadow Rising, you asked for advice and we ... have it? We tell to Dominate the World with Alexander the Great's Methods, Wear a Plague Doctor Mask to Work, Get Yourself a Shark Wife, and Gaslight Your Coworkers. Transcript  

In our extra-long season finale, we're talking about the rotating Two Rivers Brain Cells, Egwene's Smack-O, Ishamael's Flair for the Dramatic, and the Perfect Opportunity for a Freeze Frame. KABOOM. Transcript

We've finally found a villain for our fantasy heist crew! Not to mention all our VERY on-topic lines of discussion, like Faile's Insta, the Adopted Hedgehog, Fantasy Urgent Care, and All the Drug Dealers We Know.  Transcript