Being Well With Dr. Rick Hanson

In this special episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can become more self-reliant, and learn to trust ourselves. This helps us be resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and it’s a key resource for people who tend to abandon their wants and needs. They start by discussing why some people struggle with self-trust, the difference between inside-out and outside-in safety, and changing the model we have of ourselves. Forrest introduces a framework for developing self-trust based on self-efficacy, flexibility, self-advocacy, and accurate appraisal, and Rick applies this to how we can build self-worth and feel strong and capable.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: Why some people have an easier time trusting themselves than others 4:30: An outside-in vs, inside-out sense of safety, and feeling reliable 9:50: Welcoming positive feedback, and psychological flexibility 14:10: Sticking up for yourself 19:55: Stabilizing yourself when feeling helpless 25:00: Evaluati

In this special episode, Forrest focuses on the key lessons from 400 episodes of Being Well, giving you a crash course in personal growth and development. If you’re just getting into the show, or are looking for a good episode to share with people who are new to this kind of content, this is a great place to start.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: Change is possible, but change is hard 3:00: Focus on what you can control 4:30: The consistency principle 6:05: Punishing ourselves is a losing strategy 7:45: What are you pursuing? 9:30: The negativity bias 11:40: Why you don't have self-worth 13:40: Change the beliefs you have about yourself 17:05: Forming a coherent narrative 19:50: Set reasonable expectations 22:45: The middle path 24:30: Homeostasis and social pressure 26:30: How to get good at anything 27:45: Willpower, and avoiding willpower 28:25: Don’t know mind 31:25: The trap of self-awareness 32:35: Risking disappointment 34:10: The function of our bad habits

Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on one of life's most challenging but essential skills - letting go. Whether you're trying to break free from repetitive thoughts, move on from a relationship, or change an old pattern of behavior, this episode will help you learn how to release what no longer serves you.  They start by exploring why letting go is so difficult, the nature of the brain and how it gets in our way, and how to start opening up to a new way of being. They then discuss different practical approaches to letting go, how to work with the feeling of “giving up,” and staying on your own side when facing resistance.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:05: Rumination and the comfort of familiarity 7:00: Allowing for shifts in identity 14:25: An example of working with a pattern 29:40: Being on your own side when you feel resistance from others 34:45: Letting go vs. giving up, and orienting toward our own fulfillment 43:35: The destabilization phase, and learning about yoursel

Attachment wounds are emotional injuries that develop based on painful experiences with those we care about. These experiences create a kind of blueprint we carry around for how relationships work, and when that internal model is based on fear and pain, it's hard for our relationships to thrive. Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins the show to help us understand how we can heal old wounds and develop more secure forms of relating. Elizabeth and Forrest explore how early experiences shape our relationships, with a particular focus on a common paradox: deeply wanting connection while simultaneously fearing intimacy. They discuss fearful attachment, how Elizabeth approaches working with attachment wounds in clinical practice, complex PTSD, self-abandonment, facing our dreaded experience, setting healthy boundaries, and navigating relationships where fearful attachment patterns are present. About our Guest: Elizabeth Ferreira is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializ

Dr. Rick and Forrest begin the mailbag by exploring limerence – an obsessive form of romantic attraction – and offer practical recommendations for working with one-sided infatuation. They then discuss what to do when romantic vulnerability feels unsafe, and how we can rebuild trust in others after traumatic experiences. The episode also tackles managing career transitions, dealing with social anxiety around positive interactions, and maintaining boundaries without being consumed by anger.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 0:50: What can I do when I experience limerence, or compulsive romantic attraction? 18:00: How can I learn to trust my partner and embrace the experience of happiness in my relationship? 26:50: How can I best think about the inherent uncertainty in the 2-3 years of preparation for a new career path? 37:55: How can I learn to “take in the good” when good experiences feel uncomfortable for me? 44:55: How can I maintain important boundaries in a way that doe

Forrest and Dr. Rick explore "situationships" – those poorly defined, boundary-free relationships that exist in a gray area between friendship and committed dating. They unpack why these arrangements have become so common, examine the emotional trade-offs that keep people stuck, and share how to reclaim a sense of agency and build more authentic connections. The episode includes a role-play where Forrest plays someone struggling with situationships, while Dr. Rick draws on his decades of experience as a couples counselor to offer guidance. Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an additional 20% off: RickHanson.com/FWB You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:35: What is a situationship? 7:25: The benef

Why do New Year's resolutions usually fail by February? Forrest and Dr. Rick explore why traditional goal-setting falls short and offer a new approach to creating lasting change. They discuss how we can uncover our authentic wants and needs, move away from a punishment mindset, and use our new knowledge to find fulfillment. This episode will teach you how to get more out of any other New Year’s content you listen to.  Rick and Forrest walk through a practical example of brain dumping “shoulds,” shifting the focus from means to ends, and working with internal resistance. They end the episode with a role-play focused on working with someone who wants to find a more meaningful relationship. Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an addi

Why do some people navigate the social world with such ease while others feel like they're swimming upstream? In this special episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by four leading experts for a masterclass on the science of attachment. Featuring conversations with Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. Rick Hanson, Julie Mennano, and Elizabeth Ferreira, this carefully curated episode gives you a map to becoming more socially confident, emotionally intelligent, and authentically connected.  Topics include: The four fundamental patterns that influence how we show up in every social interaction. Dr. Sue Johnson's guide to having deeper, more meaningful "hold me tight" conversations. Dr. Rick Hanson’s approach to working with self-abandonment. Julie Mennano on working with the anxious-avoidant dance that brings so many couples to therapy. Elizabeth Ferreira’s somatic and trauma-informed perspective on healing attachment wounds. Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed jou

Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins the show to discuss complex trauma, dissociation, and working with challenging emotions. Forrest and Elizabeth start by exploring the relationship between Internal Family Systems and somatic therapy, including how we can apply a somatic lens to working with our parts. They then apply that framework to complex PTSD, cognitive bypassing, emotional numbing, hypervigilance, and other difficult experiences. Other topics include issues around comparing trauma, windows of tolerance, appreciating individual needs, and Elizabeth’s own journey of becoming a therapist while managing C-PTSD and ADHD. About our Guest: Elizabeth is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializes in somatic approaches to trauma work.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: What is the crossover between IFS and somatic therapy? 12:25: What helps a psychologically literate person who struggles to have a felt experience? 19:05: How

We all have different needs for closeness and distance, for intimacy and independence. You might have heard terms like anxious or avoidant attachment to describe this, and these tendencies can create challenges - particularly when people with different needs try to relate to each other. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why we're drawn to people who activate our insecurities, how anxiety manifests differently in "pursuers" versus "distancers," and what we can all do to work with our natural tendencies more skillfully. They discuss common relationship patterns, why pursuers usually receive more blame than distancers, schizoid personalities, and practical ways to break free from entrenched patterns. Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code b

Why does change feel so difficult, even when we desperately want it? Dr. Ross Ellenhorn joins the show to explore our resistance to change, and the many good reasons we might have to stay just as we are. Forrest and Dr. Ellenhorn discuss the “fear of hope,” the allure of sameness, and what actually helps people develop the confidence to make meaningful changes in their lives. Topics include challenging conventional self-help wisdom, existential dread, dealing with disappointment, major issues in social work, psychedelics, and self-compassion. About our Guest: Ross Ellenhorn is a psychotherapist and sociologist, the owner and CEO of Ellenhorn, a community-integration program offering services for individuals experiencing addictive behaviors or extreme and complex states of mind and mood, and the author of three books including How We Change (and Ten Reasons Why We Don’t). You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: How Dr. Ross’s background in social work influences his outlook

Life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs: a sudden job loss, a relationship ending, a health crisis, or losing faith in something. These moments can leave us feeling overwhelmed, lost, and unsure of how to move forward. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore a practical framework for navigating life's most challenging transitions. They break down the essential steps for finding your footing when things fall apart: managing the initial emotional impact, steadying yourself, gathering information, working with loss, and taking meaningful action. You'll learn how to process difficult emotions without getting stuck, ways to evaluate your situation objectively while avoiding common cognitive biases, strategies for decision making under stress, and approaches to building resilience and finding meaning in challenging experiences. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 4:55: Four steps to find your footing when things fall apart 7:05: Stabilizing your body, and reestablish

We all have to make big choices in life, but it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when facing major decisions about careers, relationships, or personal growth. In this episode, Forrest and Rick Hanson explore how to develop a reliable system for making choices that align with your values and goals. They break down balancing analysis with intuition, the five key decision-making styles, and common obstacles that lead to poor choices. The episode also includes two live demonstrations of working through a big decision, which includes learning how to identify what you want and pursue it from a values-oriented perspective. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:50: Analysis vs. intuition, and activities vs. results 10:45: Effort, values, and the environments you put yourself in 17:05: The five decision-making styles 28:50: Motives and attachment 33:30: Rigidity, excessive certainty, and other common pitfalls 42:10: Demo #1 - Reverse-engineering a career decision (or Rick with a legal pad)

We’re tired, burnt out, and searching for a reprieve from hustle culture. Something needs to change if we’re going to get to real productivity: doing that is meaningful and fulfilling rather than just checking boxes off an endless to-do list. On today’s episode, Cal Newport joins the podcast to explore slow productivity, deep work, and how we can achieve more by doing less. About our Guest: Cal is a computer science professor at Georgetown University and the bestselling author of eight books including Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World and most recently, Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout. He also has a YouTube channel and hosts the podcast Deep Questions with Cal Newport.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:45: Slow productivity vs. pseudoproductivity 10:35: Anxiety, procrastination, and overwhelm 17:40: Meaningful work and anti-productivity 22:40: Technology, an

Dr. Rick and Forrest answer listener questions focused on navigating relationship challenges. They explore how to rediscover yourself after a codependent relationship, distinguish between healthy and unhealthy desires, maintain friendships after romantic feelings emerge, overcome self-consciousness in social interactions, and communicate effectively during stress responses. Whether you're healing from a breakup, working through attachment issues, or seeking to build more authentic connections, this episode offers practical advice. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 0:50: After a breakup, how can I reconnect with myself and identify what I really want? 7:50: How do I distinguish between healthy and unhealthy wanting? 18:40: How can I stay friends with someone I’ve had romantic feelings for? 32:20: How can I learn to let my thoughts and speech flow more naturally? 39:10: How can I communicate with care when I find myself in an attachment-related freeze response? 56:15: Recap I

We all have an "inner child:” the part of ourselves that carries the emotions, beliefs and experiences from our early years. While this aspect of ourselves can be a source of creativity, playfulness and wonder, it might also harbor unresolved wounds that affect our adult relationships and behaviors. In this episode, Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore what the inner child really is, how it manifests in our lives, and practical ways to work with this important part of ourselves. They discuss how to identify inner child wounds, demonstrate techniques like voice dialogue, and share strategies for bringing more awareness and healing to our younger selves. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: What is the inner child? 7:30: How the inner child shows up in our adult lives 10:40: A CBT-ish way of thinking about the inner child 16:40: Unmet needs, and examples of inner child wounds 21:45: Promoting the positive aspects of the inner child 28:50: How to begin engaging with the inner chi

Anxiety is something we all experience from time to time, and because it’s so common it can be easy to take it lightly. But anxiety dominates the lives of many people, and in this episode psychotherapist Joshua Fletcher joins Forrest for an in-depth exploration of anxiety. They talk about the anxiety cycle, moving away from thinking in terms of a “cure,” and the key target of the “willful tolerance of uncertainty.” Josh also shares insights on exposure therapy, managing self-criticism, and developing greater self-awareness.  About our Guest: Joshua Fletcher, also known as Anxiety Josh, is a psychotherapist based in Manchester, UK, and the author of several books, including his newest, "and how does that make you feel?" Joshua also co-hosts the podcast "Disordered," and you may have bumped into his content on Tiktok or Instagram, where he has over a quarter million followers.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:30: Josh’s first panic attack 10:15: The vicious cycle of threa

Why do so many people seem to resist self-compassion? Dr. Chris Germer, co-creator of the Mindful Self-Compassion program, joins Forrest to explore how we can work with the deeply ingrained shame that gets in the way. Dr. Germer shares common misunderstandings about self-compassion, and they discuss the complex interplay between shame, self-criticism, and our capacity for self-care. Forrest focuses on the paradox of self-compassion: how approaching it as a “solution to your problems” actually gets in the way of it helping you out. Dr. Germer then shares the model of safety, challenge, and overwhelm, including how we can use it to guide our practice, get to the bottom of shame, and avoid burnout along the way. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:30: What people get wrong about self-compassion  5:10: Tender vs. fierce self-compassion, and the “paradox of practice” 11:35: Shame and self-compassion 17:35: Safety, challenge, and overwhelm 23:30: Holding ourselves before holding

In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the all-too-common challenge of social anxiety. They break down what it really means to be socially anxious (hint: it's not just being shy), where those feelings come from, and why they stick around. Rick explains the roots of social anxiety, highlighting the role of attachment styles and individual temperament, before Forrest shares how to locate yourself on a spectrum from everyday nervousness to Social Anxiety Disorder. They then discuss evidence-based approaches to working with social anxiety like exposure therapy, cognitive defusion, and mindfulness techniques. Whether you experience feelings of anxiety or are trying to understand a friend who does, this episode will help you feel more confident and connected. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:45: What is social anxiety? 7:10: Where does social anxiety come from? 13:40: Feeling worthy, and other social factors 17:00: Nature vs. nurture 24:15: Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)

Dr. Rick and Forrest unpack the "Dark Triad" of personality traits - narcissism, Machiavellianism, and sociopathy - and explore how these traits can manifest in everyday relationships. They talk about how individuals with these tendencies use charm and manipulation to control situations and people, and offer practical strategies for identifying these traits in others. You’ll learn how to set boundaries, protect yourself from manipulation, and develop a thoughtful, empathetic approach when navigating relationships with those who exhibit these challenging behaviors. The episode also explores self-care in difficult dynamics, the ethical considerations in labeling others, and how to manage unavoidable interactions with people who display these traits. It’s essential listening for anyone who has encountered toxic behavior, and wants to learn how to deal with it more effectively. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and disclaimers 3:50: The Dark Triad: Narcissism, Machiavellianism,