Starburst Radio Podcast

Stardate 22nd January 2012... [The ‘Thirty Minutes later affair’.] In which Mike Royce reveals the surgery sadness of Kelly LeBrock, provides an honest appraisal of Daniel Ratface, and reveals when a gift is not a gift. Kris Heys reveals the secret location of 3 legged Cats, encounters The Man With Mannequin Hands, and reveals his Psycho Camping Night Of Terror. Underworld: Awakening is reviewed, George Lucas tires of the Internet Trolls, and the Cinema Taboo of ‘The Walkout’ is discussed... [Sponsored by a variety of dodgy energy drinks] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 15th January 2012... [The ‘Pity Star’ Appeal Special] In which Kris Heys continues with his ‘Single Location Horror’ lectures, explores the origin of the Ouija Board and his personal Nutter, before having his ‘Hot Twopics’ cut off. Mike Royce attacks Genre Ageism, defends the Flintstones, and exposes your Animated Fetishes. A shock movie shelving occurs, and ‘The Darkest Hour’ provokes a truly incendiary movie review – Prepare to be ‘Skylined’... [Not sponsored by Old Skool Coca-Cola or Russian Standard Vodka] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 8th January 2012... [Welcome to The Joey Boots Show] In which Mike Royce meets Halo Jones, engages in Child Abandonment, introduces Food Court Class Warfare, and awards Lily Collins a ‘Mekon Award’. Kris Heys regales us with his Pie Laughing but Hodless Quarry Chronicles, refuses to avail, takes the hatchet to Leonardo Dicraprio, and introduces the world to the ‘Single Location Horror’ genre. Dead Heads is reviewed amidst a real life Zombie attack, we reveal the most non-pc Top 10 ever, and it’s ‘Bourneless Bourne Vs Pornless Porn’. Business as usual at Starburst Radio... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 4th January 2012... [Welcome To Our NEW YEAR THINGY] Starburst Editors Mike Royce and Kris Heys bring you a New Year extravaganza of Whiskey Stones, Opal Fruits, Toast Protocols, Creepy Dad Brosnan, and the Starburst Guide To What Not To Watch When Drunk at Christmas ... [Sponsored by The Manhood of Martin Unsworth] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 27th December 2011... Starburst Editors Mike Royce and Kris Heys bring you a festive saga of headless dogs, psychotic fist bumps, Chris Ingle's greatest Tweets, a controversial house call from The Doctor, and the most overrated sequel of all time... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 18th December 2011... In which Mike Royce explores the downside of Abram’s Star Trek, has ceramic reindeers in August, offers good advice to the agent of Rutger Hauer, and regrets bouncing people off car bonnets. Kris Heys delivers ‘Mighty Kris’ judgements to Mel Gibson and M. Night Shyamalan, reaffirms his bromance with Jason Statham, and wants a ret-conned James Bond Moon Landing. Zachary Quinto comes out and Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows is reviewed - It’s Christmas with Starburst... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 11th December 2011... [The 2012 Preview Special Accidentally Part 3 of 3] In which Kris Heys is horrified at DVD Whosploitation, is nostalgic for Kenner Toy Ads, and picks the wrong Star Trek franchise to get on board with. Mike Royce hosts the big Film Bomb Debate, criticises the handling of Shia Labeouf by ‘The Mighty Kris’, wants to organise a Twilight Lynch Mob, and introduces Nathan Fillion’s ugly brother. Missing episodes of Doctor Who surface, Artmageddon returns with ‘Another Earth’, and what is happening with the Starburst Voodoo Doll... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 4th December 2011... [The 2012 Preview Special Accidentally Part 2 of 3] In which Mike Royce provides the Buyers Guide to Cuckoo Clocks, is not happy with gang related Who Regenerations, and sticks it to Gemma Artyone and Jeremy Remboy. Kris Heys defends his role in 'PezGate', brings back 'Kris’s Kurses', is nervous about funky hand reshoots, and exposes his hardback phobias. The New Who Movie is further debated, The Thing prequel is reviewed, and a nostalgia blast is provided by the Cult TV Theme Medley... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 27th November 2011... [The 2012 Preview Special Accidentally Part 1 of 3] In which Kris Heys hates lazy Things, is confused by Yoda flogging Pot Noodles, wants to be the new agent for poor Ahmed Best, whilst crying into mirrors and making wick free candles. Mike Royce has no time for ‘Touristy Madness’, espouses the genius of Mr Scoville, pimps out Celebrity Graves, forgets to plug in the laptop yet again, and fails to realise that Tatooine is not actually a Country in Northern Africa. Nutty Madam horrifically reviews Twilight - Breaking Dawn, and the dangers of Cola are examined. Celebrity sword sizes are compared, and the Argentinian Gnome sightings are put under scrutiny... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 20th November 2011... In which Mike Royce investigates filmmaker crimes against Video games, has a night out with Patrick Stewart, unravels the Star Wars Timeline, and introduces the World to the Control Unit for National Terrorism. Kris Heys discusses shark jumping double taking pigeons, ponders the Borg minimum wage, continues to unravel the mystery of The Sith Ewok, and remembers Roddy McDowall’s Video Games Arcade in Stockport, England. The Real Villain in the James Bond Movies is named and shamed, and the first ever Perfect TV Series continues it’s flawless run. Doctor Who The Movie causes major concerns and the dark nature of Sooty is revealed... [Sponsored by Renesmee and 'Say it to ME Edward!' productions] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 13th November 2011... In which Kris Heys doesn’t like Ray Liotta fry ups, doesn’t believe in Indian Jones OAP, experiences the horrors of Claudia Winkleman, and thinks that Mata Hari is a lovely bloke! Mike Royce examines primal computer noises, defends fridges and crystal skulls, before succumbing to a full blown ‘Lego Meltdown’. ‘The Immortals is reviewed, and the future of CD, DVD, and Blu-Ray is debated. There is Human Centipede porn, and the Hopkins Vs Cox ‘Hannibal Lector face-off’. Not forgetting the gay faces, vanilla flippers, and random echo chambers in this tech disaster special that nearly drops us into a World of legal nightmares [Definitely NOT sponsored by TALK TALK] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 6th November 2011... In which Mike Royce is bewildered by the use of a Soundtrack in ‘Found Footage’ Movies, finds ‘The Porn Witch Project’ not viable, can’t tolerate ‘Beardy Bonds’, and is still struggling to get ‘Happy Home Invaders’ off the ground. Kris Heys recovers from his Indoor Fireworks headache, shrugs off Outdoor Fireworks shrapnel, revisits ‘Johnny English Stillborn’, and Officially moves Thanksgiving Day to the 4th of November. Starburst gets it’s first zero rated Movie, whilst ‘Iron Hero’ hits the Poundstore. Omar Sharif takes a Prodigy song too literally, ‘In Time’ is reviewed, the Scare factor of modern Horror Films is debated, and Reverend H. Chronicles luvs ya! All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 30th October 2011... In which Kris Heys engages in Twick or Tweet , introduces everyone to ‘Kickstarter’, issues warnings about spelunking, and exposes the secret peas of Orson Welles. Mike Royce really likes ‘Livid’, tells the saga of ‘The Man Turned Fridge’, and sorts out the Zombies from the Goblins. ‘Airwolf’ shoots down ‘Blue Thunder’, ‘Happy Home Invaders’ has it’s first script meeting, Manimal, Fisher Stevens, Fridgebots, and The Reverend H Chronicles all make unexpected cameos... [Happy Halloween - Starburst Style] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 23rd October 2011... In which Mike Royce searches for 'Found Footage' Soundtracks, wants to live on ‘Zombie Diana Island’, loves the fridge, and unleashes the Haunted Dongles. Kris Heys takes a stance on Offensive Muppet Footwear, knows his Pacmen from his Puck Monsters and says No to Jailbreakers and extra Stormtroopers. 'The Walking Dead' returns, ‘Doctor Who- Man Love World’ is briefly visited, Sith Ewoks terrorize your local playground, and ‘Secret Starburst Sins’ is born... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 16th October 2011... In which kris Heys refuses to imbibe, disrupts the accolades for ‘Theatre Bizarre’, embraces the freedom of Deathshead, and refuses to embrace ‘Cheddar Boy’. Mike Royce is confused by the mechanics of ‘Iron Man Porn’, explains why an A-Lister should never accept a ‘Walker Job’, and agrees that it is A Good Day To Die Hard. ‘3D Musketeers’ and ‘Real Steel’ are reviewed, and ‘The Woman’ is worshipped. Tilda Swinton gets her Lobster Appraisal, ‘The Wicker tree’ gets the chainsaw, and it’s ‘Werthers Grandad’ Vs ‘Captain Birdseye’ In a Show that continues to bypass the boundaries of taste and production values... All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 9th October 2011... In which Mike Royce explains the formula of a perfect Pacman, exposes the secret shop of ‘Mr A’, ponders the potency of Arthouse movies at HMV’s Pay Desk, and remembers Porridge The Sequel. Kris Heys believes in ‘the Wicker Penis’, explains the canon of Fraggle Rock, is introduced to Father Abraham, and wonders why we don’t believe in Sonic Bus Shelters and Spider Fences. The Best Sci-Fi Doctor and Catwoman are revealed, and the cancellation of Doctor Who Confidential is debated. Johnny English gets reviewed, there is an overview of Babylon 5 Politics, and just why is Stephen Spielberg sleeping with the Wife of George Lucas? [Sponsored by Hanky Panky College] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 2nd October 2011... In which Kris Heys wants the Arch Bishop of Canterbury to know everything about Halloween, thinks the Talking Dead should be seen and not heard, is horrified with Polynesian Powder Kegs, and explains everything about his Tail Loving mate. Mike Royce is tired of Mythological Masturbation, Avatar theme parks, Claudia Winkleman, Sam Worthington, and offers Assisted Suicides for Avatar fans. Melancholia is reviewed, whilst Grimm up North brings Horror back to Manchester. Angelina Jolie is no longer Wanted, James Cameron steals 3D, Wes Craven carries on screaming, Celebrities are outed as Vampires, and we look into the mysteries of the Spongy Golf Course... [Sponsored by 2 cans of RED BULL] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 25th September 2011... In which Mike Royce leads in a minutes silence for nobody, offers Flashpoint Insolvency Counselling, and validates Shark jumping with his frog-eating Clones. Kris Heys Interviews His Hero - ‘What’s His Name’, is ‘Outed’ over his Cancer Sticks, and seems to need a bag of Lettuce to get through important parts of the show. Robin Pierce takes on 'The DC Reboot', 'Mad Max', Leonard Nimoy and Bilbo Baggins. 'The Space Monkeys' give an exclusive Interview, whilst Summer Glau and Mario Van Peebles compete in a ‘Jinx-A-Thon’. Drive is reviewed, and the Best and Worst Summer Blockbusters are named and shamed. 'The Addams Family' find perverse uses for severed hands & have a face-off with 'The Munsters'. In this Show that the powers that be, must surely have forgotten to cancel... [Next Week: 'Backstage Boobs' from Kris Heys (we have no idea what this entails!] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 18th September 2011... [It's our KEVIN SMITH SMECIAL] In which Kris Heys explains ‘Claudia Schiffer Trivia Terror’, encounters the Lethal Lunchbox of his Arch Enemy, can’t even be bothered going to Court, and continues to suffer from ‘Cinema Condom Trauma’. Mike Royce celebrates January Drones and her bouncing baby Vaughn, teaches Prostrate Milking 101, derides Popcorn and Hotdog Arthouse snobbery, and has Pirate denial. The BT Tower becomes a Lightsabre, The Coop Bank nick a big glass pyramid, The Movie ‘Red State’ is reviewed as we ask whether Kevin Smith is really giving up making Movies - in this Mad Maxed, Pig Faced, razor edged Boomeranged Peg Warmer of a Radio Show... [Features exclusive content from the waste bin of January Drones] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.

Stardate 11th September 2011... In which Mike Royce sorts out his Tuskans from his Raiders, is back on board with Dr Who, wants to meet The Loch Ness Monster, and explains why Elephants pass out in fur coats. Kris Heys explores the mysteries of ‘Pink Yoda’, gets bored by the mileage clocked up by Troll Hunter, whilst suffering from Post-Traumatic Quasar Disorder. Artie Fufkin turns ‘WereFox’ after ‘Gerald The Spider’ fails in his mission, Barbarella believes that sticking her fingers down her throat is good for business, and when it comes to ‘X-Files 3’ no one wants to believe... [APOLOGIES TO Sam Worthington for just being himself] All recordings are issued under official license from Manchester Radio Online.