Danish And O'neill

MORE EPISODES HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops                            We're back in the old studio while Aaron and ATC close for the holidays. And honestly, it's great to be back! We quickly stumble into chimpanzee nut smugglers. Then we visit the worst person on YouTube. After that, it's a deep dive into the history of truck nuts. Then we reach our magnum opus, an invention that might change the world for the better...it's the ultimate car alarm for the homophobic car thief. Strap in, hunker down and let your mind go limp cause The Pork Report has got the wheel. Enjoy! 

FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops                                       In this episode of the ground breaking journalistic power house of The Pork Report,  the boys discuss disposable corn meal beds for hotels and the ensuing rat problem that surely to follow. Then it's super pigs from Canada and the American weaponry that might save us. O’Neill reveals the most dangerous day of the year for wieners and a baked bean factory ends up with rubber balls in the beans! Also, Aaron wins more softball tournaments and cements his legacy as the greatest player the game has ever seen.

FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops                                   DeWitt and O’Neill are back in the studio and breaking incredible news. First up, O’Neill talks about a new scourge facing humanity, dolphins with thumbs. We talk about the forgotten Christmas movie, Invasion USA, men who don’t buy toilet paper for their girlfriends then Ryan creates another toilet based trampoline idea. Then Andrew reveals medical procedures he has performed. Ryan uses this to volunteer him to save lives on flights. The boys start a new business for straight shooting medical advice. Then they come up with a new Elf on The Shelf variant. 

FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops                                               The Pork Report is hitting its stride! O’Neill is back from Cambodia where he was all the children’s lucky charm. He also has unbelievable food deals and peanuts that make you take a dump in your pants. DeWitt springs a new theme song on O’Neill as well as a creamy new Christmas video. Then Ryan talks about a drunk Santa fresh from prison that his dad brought over. Andy’s grandpa hands him a collection of loaded rifles to play with on Christmas that nearly got him killed as a child. Then we get a Christmas visit from Rowdy Uncle Ronnie. 

Listen to the full episode @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

GREEN CHEF get $250 off with code beachcops250 at https://www.greenchef.com/                                                                                FULL EPISODE @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops                                             On This Pork Report style episode of Beach Cops, Ryan tells Andrew about the joys of life on the road. A heroin junkie invades Great Wolf Lodge and leaves syringes everywhere. The boys discuss billionaire brontosaurus secrets and the forgotten 80’s classic “Baby: Secret of The Lost Legend” and how Andy was forced to study cryptids at elementary school. Andy finds out about the Sasquatch “gifting rock” and Ryan debuts a 1970’s gem “Bigfoot and Wildboy” and it’s truly unbelievable. Then we hear O’Neill on a legit baseball bat commercial which leads to an amazing Aaron underdog softball story!  

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsA homeless dude helps "decorate" a giant skeleton in a fancy neighborhood. O’Neill has a ghostly proposition for Andy, but it quickly devolves into a Black Mirror situation. Andy finds a risque Irish woman on Instagram. Ryan has a “broccoli mission” dream that Andy tries to decode. Danish finds out about the urban legend of the Death Cat. A caller leaves a scary message that Andy initially doubts but later believes. Also, Ryan finds the ceiling of the podcast and measures it. 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsSomeone leaves season’s greetings in the toilet at ATC for O’Neill. Then, Danish finds a Diet Coke in the other bathroom, causing them to imagine a situation where a billionaire grants wishes to whoever drinks the toilet soda. Ryan pitches a traveling van of risque circus performers. Andy wears orthopedic flip flops, but no one believes him. Ryan then tries to get Andy to hang out with a chimpanzee, but Andy doesn’t want to deal with the diaper.  Ryan then goes on a rant about some kind of mysterious softball powers.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, the gang talks Book Fair books, school stores, and Little Caesar’s Pan-Pan. Also, Andrew recounts a story of being jumped in elementary school and using his fat to his advantage. O’Neill intelligently breaks down how the insults of 4th graders wouldn’t hurt as much as an adult. Then, they argue about the size of ships in a bottle. After that, they invent new types of rum that would feature Andy as a mascot figure dressed as a little Dutch boy. They finally talk about South American/Mexican alien mummies, which inspires O’Neill to try speaking Spanish. Then, Andy reads comments on the Whazzup Man of Reddit AITA.

Go to GreenChef.com/60beachcops and use code 60beachcops to get 60% off plus free shipping. GreenChef: “The #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well”To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsAaron has an insane divorce story from his neighborhood. We offer him a series of Crunchwrap based gambits and see what he’ll take. Andy’s neighbor washes his clothes with a hose and uses adult diapers for the craziest thing. Aaron’s neighbor tries to give him meat. Andy does more back-pain talk, and the fans weigh in. Then, he gets on the floor and does stretches. 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Another fantastic, classy, dignified episode of the Pork Report with Ryan and Andrew. Andy buys a soundboard for a dollar and immediately gets decision fatigue. Andrew and Ryan try to create a game show called “Read O’Neill’s Mind”, but it doesn’t pan out. Then, they talk Cadbury turkeys and nacho cheese turkeys. Andy shows O’Neill Gymkata for the first time, and they brainstorm more Olympic-based action films.  

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Ryan talks about politicians working way past the retirement point, and Aaron recounts amazing movies. Then, O’Neill and DeWitt create an action movie called Pork Chops about karate police partners who fight children.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsThe gang discusses a brand new business idea, where Andy dresses as a pig and lays in a trough, while O’Neill acts as a barker for people who are tired of waiting in lines for the porta-potties at music festivals. Then, a firefighter hero sends in an incredible video, and we make the case for higher pay for some of our country’s bravest workers. 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Jeff is out of town, so to keep it together, DeWitt and O’Neill decide to ditch the cargo shorts and dress up like two true gentlemen. O’Neill asks Andy to plunder-wash his laundry for $1.75. Aaron gets “kind of“ horny. Andy’s friend Burt stays up all night dreaming of $50,000. O’Neill and Andy role play a car dealership where Andy keeps being mistaken for a woman. O’Neill roasts character testimonies for Danny Masterson. Then, it’s business ideas galore! Including their own character witness testimony business.

Go to GreenChef.com/60beachcops and use the code 60beachcops to get 60% off and free shipping. Green Chef: "The #1 meal kit for eating well"! To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsAndrew needs to be hypnotized to fall asleep and also can’t keep in touch with his relatives on the East coast.  Ryan takes umbrage with the lyrics to ”Bongos” and tries to rewrite them. Danish recaps an emotionally abusive new 90 Day Fiancé. Andrew asks the gang a hypothetical question, and then it’s Danish and O’Neill vs Andy in a TLC reality show pitch off. 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Listeners come together to write O’Neill an open letter one line at a time to get him to stop his bad boy zone behavior. The letter predictably goes off the rails. After that, the gang explains an idea DeWitt and O'Neill once had to Aaron. Andy’s back goes out again, as Danish shows a beautiful horse, which Ryan thinks is a psyop. Then, they talk about the diarrhea plane. 

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS and use the code HELIXPARTNER20. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this one, the gang debates if there is ever a “charming” way to blast a big old beefer in front of a potential significant other to score points. Once again, Ryan gives sound dating advice, and the boys test their knowledge of the states and capitals, while Danish plays cannon sound effects over them. It’s a good one! 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsThis one starts with the gang recovering from the horrific Hurricane Hilary. Aaron gets a controversial text from a famous comedian. Ryan tries to come up with a new Desert Eagle business, and Danish creates a hypothetical cartel art career for Andy. They debate the best ingredients for traditional ancient medicine. Then, Andy makes AI tell O’Neill he’s a very bad boy. AI doesn't stop there - it tells O'Neill the terrible fate he's facing if he doesn't change his bad boy ways. 

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, O’Neill has some tough but fair relationship advice for a morgue employee. Also, O’Neill talks horror movies. Andrew discusses his intense ballet training and then he proves he has a 12 inch vert. Danish and O’Neill make him post to Reddit’s AITA, and he’s too scared to do it. 

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsOn this episode of Beach Cops, Aaron tells us about a styrofoam jail from his youth. Ryan grills Andy about a Disney audition that featured adult content. Danish reveals Obama’s secret naughty letters, and the gang has some insane theories. Then, they talk about the underrated TV show, Alien Nation. And, Andrew shows everyone his new DIY washing machine.