Another World Is Probable

As we’re approaching the July 4th holiday, a time that supposedly celebrates freedom and independence, I'm wondering, what does it mean to be free? More in this week's post.

So often when I hear or see depictions of marriage, it’s about finding a companion to build a life with, someone you’ll love forever, your best friend, the person you’ll turn to in times of joy and sorrow. However, what I don’t often hear discussed is how marriage can enhance spiritual growth. More in this week's post.

I’m editing a fascinating book about judgment. I can’t quote from it because, hi, it’s unpublished and also not my writing, but I can talk about the general ideas and also quote from others. My client makes the case that when we judge other people, it’s often because we aren’t tending to the vulnerable parts of ourselves. The parts that need to be met with love and care. For instance, if I say, “He’s so lazy,” it’s likely there’s a part of me that’s sad because I long to rest. But instead of holding that grief – that I desire to rest and feel unable to do so – I’m projecting and calling that man lazy. And judgment of any kind, toward others or the self, breaks connection with our own heart, to paraphrase Tara Brach. More in this week's post.

I’ve had an interesting experience over the past month or so. People whom I thought I’d never see or talk to again have been resurfacing. Not one or two people, either – five. Folks that I haven’t seen, talked to, or thought of in one year, two years, three years, five years have been popping up in unexpected ways and places. More in this week's post.

There’s a Post-it taped to my bathroom mirror that says, “Remember: Life can be surprising and delightful.” I need this reminder because one of my trauma responses is hypervigilance. I’m constantly scanning for threats and waiting for the next terrible thing to happen. It’s a survival strategy, but not a particularly fun one. Saturday was a sweet reminder that life can be surprising and delightful. More in this week's post.

I keep thinking about fantasy, delusion, and reality. A spiritual teacher I like was convinced Kamala Harris would become the next president. When Trump won on election night, she said, “Kamala won’t concede! She’ll ask that the election be investigated!” What interests me is not the content – people believe wacky things all the time – it’s that she kept saying her intuition told her all of this was true.

We are every age we’ve ever been. That means there’s still a 22-year-old, a 12-year-old, a 2-year-old, an infant inside us. Just because we physically age doesn’t mean those younger parts disappear. They live within and they need the same things now that they needed then. My inner infant still needs to be held. My 5-year-old still wants to play. And all of my parts still need to be mothered. More in this week's post.

Lately, I’m noticing how the universe is conspiring on our behalf. The right people are showing up at the right time to help my friends. The things that seemed impossible are suddenly possible. And in my own life, this happened in a big way with my novel. More in this week's post.

My therapist told me, “Some things don’t make sense, and sometimes suffering happens.” Ouch. Can that not be true? Thanks. It’s interesting to notice how much I don’t accept this perspective. I want a reason for everything. I want to know why.

In these times where I know we are the “magic wands,” that change happens because we make it happen, my desire to contribute is immense. It feels like if I’m not doing something, I’m letting the fascists win. But, well, my body needs a break. More in this week's post.

A friend sent a PowerPoint presentation about a professor holding a cup. The story goes like this: A professor walked into class one day and held up a cup of water for all to see. The professor asked, “How much do you think this cup weighs?” The students answered, “50g! 100g! 125g!”“I really don’t know unless I weigh it,” the professor said. “But my question is, what would happen if I held the cup like this for a few minutes?” More in this week's post.

I didn’t attend any of the rallies on April 5th because I panic in crowds. And while I know it’s important to take care of myself – and I would have been a liability rather than an asset in that situation – it’s bringing up a lot of feelings. Because I care so much about society, I feel like a bad person. What am I doing to fight fascism?!? Do I make a difference in this world even if I can’t participate in the way I’d like? More in this week's post.

The other day, a bumblebee landed on my window and it felt like both a message from my Grandma Libele saying, “Hello, I’m here,” and a message of hope. She wanted me to know that joy and sweetness are coming.

One of my core wounds is around belonging. I would say that’s a consequence of growing up as the “weird kid” but these days I think everyone has this wound. We all want to belong. To be clear, belonging is not the same thing as fitting in. As Brené Brown says, “Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else.”

The most recent eclipse brought up so much for me – I cried buckets and let myself feel grief that had been buried for decades. In general, that happens during eclipses – people are more sensitive and emotional, and things that were hidden get revealed. It can be incredibly painful to look at something you didn’t want to look at. It may also feel scary and overwhelming. What to do about that? More in this week's post.

Our society is obsessed with “overnight success,” but if you dig a little deeper, you will find that it usually takes years and years of hard work for a person to be successful “overnight.” I was reminded of that this weekend when I re-watched Mystic Pizza. Did you know Matt Damon is in that movie? More in this week's post.

Lately I’m oscillating between shock, dismay, dissociation, and fear. And I know I’m not alone. My social media feeds are filled with people talking about how to take care of yourself right now. They say things like, “Take a break from doomscrolling” and “connect with your community.” It’s great advice and I’ve asked myself, “Do I also have something to contribute?” Other than what I already have I mean, namely my post from the other week about how we’re the “magic wands”? The answer is yes. And here is the video I mention: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YptJ0Asexc.

The title of this post comes from a fascinating article I read in my university’s alumni magazine. More than 15% of the global population – about 1 billion people – have been diagnosed with a physical, psychiatric, learning, developmental, sensory, or cognitive disability. And that number is likely to increase due to emerging diseases andnatural disasters. More in this week's post.

I celebrated my 17th anniversary of moving to California on Valentine's Day. I’ve been more emotional than I anticipated. Not so much that I moved here, that I still live here, but that I worked so very hard to create a life that I enjoy and works for me. I left a tearful voice memo for a friend saying for the first time in my life, nothing is actively wrong, personally. Politically on the other hand. . . I’m happy. More in this week's post.

I want a magic wand to make everything better. Or a Deux Ex Machina situation. Maybe some aliens to set us straight. More in this week's post.