Healthy Family Connections

In this episode, Neil responds to a mom who knows her teenager is capable and will want to go to college, but the only way they do their work is when she nags.  Mom wants to know what she can do besides nagging or letting them fail.  Neil looks at how therapists often respond to these kinds of situations, why the approach is counterproductive, and how to get it right.

In this episode, Neil responds to a Mom whose adult son is trying to help his wife who suffers from complex trauma and grief.  Neil shows Mom a way to get her son the help he needs.

In this episode, Neil responds to a mom struggling with what to do about her 18 year-old son, whose girlfriend spends the night.  The problem is that they make noise during sex and it’s bothering others.  Neil helps this Mom realize that her model of parenting will not be effective to deal with this problem or many others. Neil shows how therapy can be helpful to mom and the whole family when approached in the right way.

In this episode, Neil responds to a Mom whose young adult son threatens suicide when she talks with him about getting a job or growing up. He has bipolar disorder, is “in treatment” and isn’t showing any bipolar symptoms . She says it feels like she’s living with a terrorist.  Neil shows Mom how to not allow herself to be held hostage, take her son’s threats seriously, and get things moving forward. 

In this episode, Neil responds to a Mom struggling with her son about what school to enroll in for next year.  Son has special learning needs, but just wants to go to the big local high school and be treated as a “regular kid”.  Mom fears he won’t be successful and doesn’t look forward to trying to get the administration to accommodate his needs. 

In this episode, Neil responds to a Dad whose 16 year-old son is depressed, unmotivated and piling up zeros in his classes. Dad doesn’t want to “come down on him” and add to his depression and wants to know what to do.

In this episode, Neil responds to a Mom whose 17 year old is living with his girlfriend, going downhill, and not communicating with his parents.

In this episode, Neil responds to a Mom whose husband agrees with their teenage son, that there’s no difference between Mom having a martini and their son smoking a joint.  Substance abuse and teens is of course bad news, but that’s the easy part.  Neil gives Mom a plan to change the destructive family dynamic.

In this episode, Neil shares powerful insights from the book Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff.  In this groundbreaking book, Michaeleen, an investigative reporter writes what she learns living in three different hunting and gathering cultures with her hard to manage toddler in tow. Her experiences and insights contradict much of what we believe about good parenting.

In this episode, Neil responds to a Dad whose son has been suspended twice in his first year of high school.  Dad is concerned at multiple levels seeing his son as lacking remorse and seeking recognition in very destructive ways.  Neil identifies the critical issues likely going on with this young man and offers the two major elements a school environment will need to provide for him to succeed. Most importantly though, Neil emphasizes the need for Dad to be a powerful ally and advocate for his son.

In this episode, Neil looks at the Royal Family through a Family Therapist’s eyes. Neil reveals two important characteristics of families that lead to dysfunction or family wellness.  

In this episode, Neil interviews psychologist, ADHD and Executive Function expert, and author of 6 Super Skills For Executive Functioning, Dr. Lara Honos-Webb.  In this powerful interview, Dr. Lara and Neil discuss the importance of adolescence as a time for growing executive function.  In it, they identify the best ways to engage teens in this critical developmental process.  Additionally, they offer numerous specific tools to help kids without lecturing and fighting. 

In this episode, Neil responds to a Mom concerned that her 16 year-old son will never be able to manage his adult life. Mom has tried a lot of ways to motivate him, but he continues to procrastinate, not get things done, and not turn them in when he does. Neil offers Mom a two-pronged approach to help him grow his executive functioning and end the parent-teen control battle.

In this episode Neil responds to a therapist working with a family with a depressed, non-compliant teenager.  The therapist is using Neil’s Parenting Course and wants guidance for how to conduct The Talk when the teenager’s world is so limited.  What can they take away when he needs everything for school and even a minimal social life? 

In this episode Neil reviews a blog post where a Mom shares her story of turning her painful relationship with her teen daughter around.  Neil appreciates her approach yet recognizes that 1) It can be harder than it sounds and why, and 2) Often, destructive teen behavior has to be called out and immediately addressed. Neil explains that like the Mom in the story ending her Control Battle, calling out destructive behavior must be done in a way that is outside of and is part of ending a Parent-Teen Control Battle.  Neil shares his powerful method for doing just that.

In this episode Neil responds to a Mom whose previously successful and responsible 17 year-old son is smoking and vaping marijuana and his school performance is going down as well. Neil helps this Mom understand what might be going on with her son given a recent divorce, a pandemic and at-home learning, as well as entering a new stage of development. Neil then provides a healthy way to engage him while maintaining accountability.

In this episode, Neil responds to a Mom whose 15-year-old son is on probation for theft and feels undermined by the Probation Officer.  Neil explains the importance of helping professionals and agencies in supporting families and healthy family structure.  In addition to providing insight into the workings of probation departments, Neil helps this Mom advocate for herself and her needs to provide her son the structure and support he desperately needs.

In this episode Neil responds to a Mom looking for ways to help her 13 year-old raging, cutting daughter.  Neil shows Mom how being reasonable with an emotionally out of control daughter is unreasonable and offers Mom four steps to action instead.