Again With This: Beverly Hills, 90210

Steve is thirsty for the attention of a literal prince Clare knew as a kid; Colin finds out he can't actually take his lawyer's plea deal STRAIGHT to the bank; PowerMan 5000 ruins yet another relationship; and Tara decides if Kelly won't be her friend, she won't be anyone's friend ever again. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Steve and Clare's plot gulag forces them both to get exercised about a scarf; Brandon gets his most improbable job offer yet; and while Donna and David strike a match, Tara's crazy gets a makeover! JOIN THE AWT CLUB

The gang couples' SPRING BREAK camping trip finds the guys tempted by a trio of trampy Canadians; Colin's dad comes to town to terrorize him, while Colin's dad's guide dog Heidi is just there to be a very helpful, VERY GOOD girl; and Tara starts ratcheting up the crazy by expertly driving a wedge between Kelly and Greg. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Steve's terrible decision to throw a KEG party at the Walsh house has Kelly flirting with two exes and a future prospect; Tara creepily spying; Colin spending a few of his remaining precious hours of freedom with a bunch of idiots he hates and who hate him; and Austin getting waaaaaaaay too drunk. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Joe actually has his heart surgery, not that anyone cares anymore (including Joe himself?); Clare and (mostly) Susan unleash an unbearably twee plan to rekindle Joan and Nat's love affair; Kelly gets sprung from rehab and Tara is NOT happy about it, while Colin whines a lot about jail as if there's any universe in which this isn't ALL HIS OWN STUPID FAULT. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Steve's latest STUFF involves a motorcycle for some reason; Joe's heart now involves his brother Hank; Kelly finds out that Colin and Val are an item (though Colin's about to moot that, spoiler alert); and Susan brings Brandon home to disappoint her mother. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Joe's heart has Donna seeking cures she saw on television; a ski slope tries to kill Brandon (and Susan is, unfortunately, also along for the ride); and after Kelly goes to rehab and dumps him, Colin waits approximately ten minutes before trying to replace her with Val. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Joe's heart gets him some special attention from his coach; Steve and Clare make a game of Sex Out 1996; Val has to come clean to David about Ginger's short con; and Kelly breaks in a new coke dealer...or maybe the other way around. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Ginger returns to the zip to run a new scam on Val; Joe's heart continues failing; and Kelly's erratic behaviour and reckless stash storage draw more attention to her drug mania. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Elle returns to be problematic AND hit on Chancellor Arnold; Colin and Kelly try sobriety; and Susan has mixed feelings about an award nomination for a very personal essay about abortion. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Steve and Clare join the other bozos in comedy traffic school; Joe's heart is the cause of a fight between Susan, Brandon, and journalistic ethics; and Val figures out before anyone else that Kelly has joined Colin in his illicit snowdrift. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Joe finds out there might be more wrong with him than an old ankle injury; Steve (and Roger Corman) play Cupid for Nat; Brandon is still a bad boyfriend; and Kelly's dad is still a bad dad. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Having fled the gang for San Diego, Clare 'gets' the pleasure of hearing exactly how her friends' New Year's Eves all got ruined -- and so do we! JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Colin gives himself a white, powdery Christmas gift; Steve's relationship with Rush undergoes a major evolution; and Cindy questions whether she wants to stay married through the 1990s. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Steve tries working for a living after Rush gets him a job working for a hard-charging lady talent agent; a charity casino night reignites Brandon's issues with gambling; and Donna, after meeting a black kid, decides she knows how to run his life better than his mother does. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Everyone puts on their most serious outfits to watch Joe and Ray (but really mostly Donna) battle it out in court, while Val's gossipmongering causes trouble for Brandon, Kelly, and...Erin?! JOIN THE AWT CLUB

The gang's latest Thanksgiving involves a stultifying cocktail party at Chancellor Arnold's, some depositions in Joe's assault case, and a willful misreading of Kelly and Brandon's...mostly platonic interactions. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Brandon tries to work through his heartache over Dylan's departure through writing, because Susan isn't right about everything; Steve and Val engage in parallel capers, but only one involves a wardrobe from Frederick's Of Hollywood; and as Donna advances to the Rose Court, Felice finally confesses her darkest yet Rose-iest secret. JOIN THE AWT CLUB

Dylan and Toni make it to the altar, and their wedding night, and their first brunch as a couple. After that, things get a little less rote? JOIN THE AWT CLUB

While Donna tries to help Ray by joining him at therapy and learning more about his own abusive childhood, an earthquake shakes disaster fears out of Colin and Val, a baby out of some lady in a hotel elevator, and a proposal out of Dylan. JOIN THE AWT CLUB