The Tom Barnard Show

Remember last time Kenny was on and we had a scheduling conflict, but it ended up going well? This time we have the opposite problem: a studio full of no-shows. Lucky for us there are enough emerald ash borers in the world to keep the conversation going. Unlucky for the trees, though.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever been shot? Not with a gun, specifically. Any sort of projectile will do. Despite being an ancient weapon, an arrow in the wrong place can still be just as bad news as a bullet. But at least the air is somewhat clear now, right? Won't be coughing as you're bleeding out after being ambushed by medieval highwaymen.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

One day, Dave Bassitt decided to start wearing orange. Since then it's become a major thing. He's even written a book about it. If you can believe it, the book is called Orange.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sam Almond's middle name is Almond. His father's name is Almond, as is his grandfather's. And yet, we managed to go the whole episode without making a joke about his family being nuts. I'm proud of how far this show has come. What I'm not proud of is involuntarily breathing in a pack of cigarettes every time I walk to my car.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The 90s were a different time. The kids had mullets, the moms had perms, and the dads kind of did whatever. There were also a lot fewer drug overdoses. We're sure the two are related.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When you think scurvy, you probably think of pirates, right? Or if you're a little more lawful, just sailors in general? Turns out it's a real thing and it's making a comeback courtesy of bad diets. When your parents told you to eat your fruits and vegetables, what they were really telling you to do was to avoid Davey Jones' locker. And thanks to Fresh Dry, you can do it with a satisfying crunch.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There's been another rash of random attacks across the country. Is it the heat? Perhaps it's the CTE? We may never know. But we do know that whenever your weather app tells you the storm of the century is coming, you should practice some healthy skepticism.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How many Air Bud movies are there? A handful, right? Maybe if you have really big hands. And next year there'll be another one, because we're in the golden age of nostalgia baiting. And speaking of nostalgia, remember when the Twins were good? Strangely, it seems that paying everyone tens of millions of dollars is not necessarily improving the game.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Who's on today's death roster? You'll have to listen to find out, but I will spoil it and say there's more than one. Plus, talk about Epstein and various kidnapping/murders. We like to keep Friday shows light and breezy.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've got two relatively major celebrity deaths in one day today, thus disproving the rule of threes by a sizeable margin. If you're going to get spiritual, now's the time. And not just because Seth believes we're on the cusp of a spiritual paradigm shift.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ozzy Osbourne has died, surprising basically no one. Although he was starting to get that Keith Richards "immortal despite it all" reputation. Oh, and by the way, no, Jimmy doesn't want to be the governor. Too much danger.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The hottest new craze is to put flavored syrup in soda. If you think that sounds a little much, you're not alone. But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do in Mormon country. Also, here's your PSA about riptides: swim parallel to the shore, not toward it. You can't beat the riptide, but you can escape it.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tom and Kathryn are back from their visit to wherever giants come from, and they brought photographic evidence. First Cornwall, now this. They certainly lead interesting lives. And unlike professional athletes, they don't have to stop after a few years because their knees explode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Stephen Colbert is out, as you may have heard. You know who's not out? Everyone in the world, including a pack of dogs. I speak of course about our studio. Six voices, three dogs, and two kids out in the lobby. Probably some mice in the walls too for good measure.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Connie Francis died recently at the age of 81. But that's not the only Francis we're missing today. Jimmy was on the calendar, but alas, his life is so fancy free that he thought today was Friday. Mike Bryant made up for it with his knowledge of legal formulas though. Do you know how to calculate damages? We sure don't.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you're in the Midwest you've probably noticed a lot of trees being cut down lately. Those are most likely all ash trees, and they're infected with the emerald ash borer. Cutting them down is one way to stop it. But it's not the only way. Kenny will fill you in. And while we're at it, AK will fill you in on how to get along with your fellow Minnesotan despite having major political differences.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TV is supposedly still great, which is why it's strange that we're talking about shows from 20 years ago. Also kid's shows, but those don't get quite the same recognition. Even modern shows are probably better than what Mae did the other day though.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tom and Kathryn are back from their visit to a tiny fishing village in Cornwall. It was more exciting than it sounds. It was also apparently a great workout. That's why English people have such famously chiseled physiques.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It was 2012. A presidential election was on the horizon. A lot of people were very mad at the idea that someone they don't like might win and political discourse was at an all-time low because of it. Thank god that's all over, right?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, remember Gangnam Style? The only reason I ask is because Steve is half Korean. And because this was 2012, when that song was still literally everywhere. Also, sorry we reminded you of it.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.