The Tom Barnard Show

Chuck Norris is dead and The Bachelorette has been cancelled. Could this day get any worse? The answer to that depends on how you take medical news about people you probably don't know.Topics:Chuck Norris diesTaylor Frankie Paul dramaTom's diagnosisPositive thinkingSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The way we think is a lot like a social media feed. The more we see something, the more we see it. That sounds like a tautology, but I promise it isn't. That's why you're going to be thinking about purple beards more frequently after today. If that interests you, or you just want to see some comedy, why not head to Gambit Brewing on March 24th at 7 PM?Topics:Cash CallFundaMental iLLNeSsBrain algorithmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In the first half of the show, Tom declares that he's done with every politician. In the second half, we find a politician we like. Never let it be said that we're not a dynamic show, at times.Topics:Wasting money on forgotten subscriptionsBob Barker the sleazebagPeople leaving garbage everywhereDalia's upbringing/immigration storyMinnesota political divisionSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's Saint Patrick's day again, which means...surprisingly little. At least around here. We still like to talk about it though. Remembering the good times when a bunch of meat and whiskey didn't make us feel sick. Ah, memories.Topics:Saint Patrick's dayIrish ancestryMormon Wives dramaMikey the MuleMinnesota sports suckMovies also suckSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Oscars - or Academy Awards if you're so inclined - happened again. It's like the rising and setting of the sun, except the sun doesn't have a host or wear horrible clothes. Unless it does. If it did, would we know?Topics:OscarsNew vs. old definition of "celebrity"Weekend snowstormPrivate equity ruining everythingSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've been promised yet another snowy apocalypse. Will this one be real? We hope not, because if so we won't be able to leave our house. There will be no escaping the Oscars. Although you can pass your time shoveling your driveway. That's always fun.Topics:Modern TV viewershipTaylor Sheridan has too many showsAlec Baldwin legal troubleThis weekend's snowstormTim's Oscar betsAward shows are full of themselvesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Once upon a time, the Twins were good. During that time, Kent was with them. Now we're not saying that Kent singlehandedly brought the team to victory, but the correlation is difficult to ignore.Topics:News bloopersOscarsSecurity at the OscarsOld vs new carsHome appliance repairThe MetrodomeMinnesota TwinsStats vs. heartMinnesota Broadcast Hall of Fame inducteesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Crocs are back. Well, they've been back, but we're just now noticing. Impressionists are also back. In fact, it seems like the two ebb and flow in almost perfect sync. That can't be a coincidence.Topics:Crocs are cool againKristyn interviewing tall peopleLicense plate tab costsLiza Minelli tell-all bookImpressionsComedySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Flintstones. They're pretty old, literally and figuratively. I mean, the 60s was a long time ago, but it's got nothing on the Stone Age. There's also a nearly 200 year old tortoise out there, and baseball legends that haven't played in over thirty years. History has something for everyone, really.Topics:Punch the monkey (and other euphemisms)Corey Feldman vs. The OscarsFlintstonesMinnesota VikingsMinnesota Twins glory daysVery old tortoiseSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Remember when we brought up the "dill dough" incident? We're bringing it up again, and this time we find it. Turns out we had it clipped the whole time. Who knew? What we do know is that an emergency has been reported in the building. Do not use the elevators.Topics:Kristyn's pickleball injuryDill doughEating unusual animal partsDaylight saving timePunch the monkeyDecommissioned Simpsons charactersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you're the CEO of a burger chain, you should probably like the burgers. Or at least know how to eat one properly. Lest you be clowned upon. In more local news, Tim finally saw the movie he's been anticipating since what feels like the 1930s. Was it good? I'll never tell. That's his job.Topics:McDonald's CEO burger bite"Gourmet burger"Scrubs episode 2Too many streaming servicesThe Bride!Kutcher/Masterson debacleSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you're a Minnesotan, you've probably been to Valleyfair. And if you haven't, go while you still can, because it just got sold. Who knows what comes next? Fewer flags means less fun, as we all know.Topics:Marshals isn't very goodWB toursValleyfair sold to investment firmBritney Spears DUITom's first pitchNobody is buying paperbacksTicks and mosquitosSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We didn't forget about that monthly segment with Jesse and Dave. Well okay, we did, but we're only off by a week. That's practically on time by podcast standards. Tom isn't here for most of the show today because he was busy driving ten miles an hour through West Palm Beach. If you've ever been there, you'll know what we're talking about.Topics:Taylor SheridanScrubsIPIC bankruptcyTheaters are expensiveIntroversionDinner partiesInsomniaKids growing upReligionSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Power bills in Minnesota are expensive. And no, the fact that it gets cold doesn't fully explain it. Property taxes and rent are also very high, despite the fact that you can buy an entire historical office complex for one dollar. I guess you could say everything's about money. But you don't need to, because it's already been said a few times.Topics:Minneapolis Lumber Exchange buildingFake ingredients in foodPower billsGreen energyBob at the Children's HospitalGun free zonesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You've probably heard us talk about how ice cream isn't real anymore. But have you heard about maple syrup? Or honey? Fortunately, Tiffany Norton hasn't been replaced with corn syrup yet, although whoever replaced her on the radio is probably somehow inferior. We don't know who it is, but how could they not be, right?Topics:Fake foodActor Awards (formerly known as SAG Awards)Tiffany's radio careerThings you can't say anymoreStar TrekSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Scream 7 just came out. Some people are asking "why"? Same reason films set in Minnesota are rarely shot in Minnesota: money. Although the latest Scream is shaping up to be a big enough bomb that it may, in fact, be Scream Part Last.Topics:Remembering Catherine O'HaraAlex's Jimmy John's storySugar free gummy bearsKids with sophisticated palatesFilming in foreign locationsEndless horror movie franchisesKids movies make big moneySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The military is a strange thing. You might be sleeping in a crowded tent with a bunch of armed strangers, or you might be sent deep into the ocean crammed into a steel tube with 99 men who don't necessarily want to be there. It's no wonder why people who experience these things develop their own quirks. Yes, let's call them quirks.Topics:Soap operasTim Allen's sitcomsPay cuts on TVExpensive steaksLife in the militaryLife after the militaryGold star familiesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In December, Cassie (also known as Winnie) and Dave bought the Palmer House in Sauk Center. It's known for its ghostliness, so it was a no-brainer. It's also a no-brainer to predict that we have more sad celebrity news, because that's just how it is every day now.Topics:Katherine Short suicideBAFTA Tourettes incidentLifestyles of the rich and the famousRock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees announcedOwning the Palmer HouseSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The word of the day is suicide, after Robert Carradine's death yesterday. It's not a happy word, and it doesn't lend itself to happy conversation. But it is important to talk about. Plus the longer we talk the longer we can put off driving on the Minnesota-sized sheet of ice that is our roads right now.Topics:Robert CarradineSuicideLearning about presidentsLandman/Taylor Sheridan leaving ParamountScrubs season 10 tomorrowFreezing rainVoiceover businessCanadian Olympics saltinessSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Everything is expensive all of a sudden. License plate tabs. Energy. Hay. Cartel wars. But what do you expect when they burn down all the Costcos? Regardless, Nik finds the means to go to Italy for months at a time, possibly funded by his social media videos. They may not be so big in America anymore, but there's still plenty of an audience when it comes to motorcycles.Topics:US Hockey team wins goldMunich airport strandingStuff is expensiveMotorcycles in EuropeMexican army vs. the cartelsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.