Boars, Gore, And Swords: A Game Of Thrones Podcast

Jaime reminds The Kingsguard who’s in charge and Petyr Baelish gets showy with his mastery of The Game of Thrones in Jaime VIII (Hardback page 750/Paperback page 912) in George R.R. Martin’s “A Storm of Swords”. Ivan and Red discuss Ravens from the Bannermen, books vs toilet paper, Stranger in a Strange Land, Ser Barristan’s advanced age, Jaime’s professional pride, Ser Boros missing out on a once in a lifetime opportunity, Dragons vs. Dinosaurs, Petyr Baelish and Wikipedia etiquette, underestimating Cersei, strong seed, Lysa’s wedding in a box, and Ser Egan’s revenge.

This week, like Tobias Menzies, Ivan, Red, and guest Kelly Anneken take a break from the world of Game of Thrones and head for the Scottish Highlands. They’re doing a re-cap and having a borderline histrionic discussion of the Starz’ series premiere of Outlander, based on Diana Gabaldon’s Historical Romantic Science Fiction book of the same name. They discuss how to chug champagne on Victory Day, the intricacies of accent work, the purpose of neck wear, Claire and her poor memory re: Forget-Me-Nots, the advanced medical practices of 1945, making sure to check the weather for the 200 years prior to and after the current date before leaving the house, the one case where a fedora is attractive, and the reasons why we’re going to keep watching Outlander.

Arya is running out of relatives and Tyrion’s relatives all think he murdered Joffrey in Arya XII (Hardback page 726/Paperback page 883) and Tyrion IX (Hardback page 735/Paperback page 894) in George R.R. Martin’s “A Storm of Swords”. Ivan and Red discuss the realities discuss a world in which fictional dreams don’t mean anything, Sansa’s dreams by Lisa Frank, Luc Besson’s voice, the bloody Bloody gate, an update on our viking friends, lizard lions, Stilted Dialogue III, Bronn’s foreshadowing of the entire Viper vs Mountain fight, over-sincere fantasy, wolf wives, murder by scorpions, and the fascinating intricacies of Dornish inheritance law.

Edric Storm is stolen away and it’s the Battle at Castle Black in Davos VI (Hardback page 705/Paperback page 857) and Jon VIII (Hardback page 714/Paperback page 868) of George R.R. Marin’s “A Storm of Swords”. Ivan and Red discuss ravens from the bannermen concerning their absence, Alester vs Axell Florent, the honorability of burning, Joffrey and kittens, Kegs and Horse, closing your mouth in extreme cold, Jon Snow basking for krill, murder holes, bigot Jon Snow, the Direwolf of Wall Street, surge pricing at Trader Joe’s, and the proper way to parent Joffrey Baratheon.

Sansa V (Hardback page 685/paperback page 832) and Jaime VII in George R.R. Martin’s “A Storm of Swords” are this podcast’s topic. We discuss the book’s rendition of Sansa’s escape from King’s landing along with Jaime’s return. Along the way, Ivan and Red answer Ravens from the Bannermen before discussing bodices, murder wands, unrealistic disguises, friend-zoning Littlefinger, predictions on Petyr and Sansa’s relationship, Brienne the Eagle, why Jaime left King’s Landing in the first place, Ser Osmund Kettledolt, that Jaime and Cersei scene, and Jaime not properly considering Margaery Tyrell as a potential partner.

This week we're in “A Storm of Swords” Sansa IV (page 659 hardback, 799 paperback) and Tyrion VIII (page 667 hardback, 809 paperback), which makes up the whole of Joffrey and Margaery’s nuptials. Ivan and Red discuss comedian Mike Patten, Sansa’s forgotten Direwolf, wooden tubs, seventy seven courses, the best part of a gammon steak, Joffrey Baratheon’s anti-literary campaign, sullen Sansa, and the danger of momentum to Tyrells.

With the completion of Season 4 of HBO’s Game of Thrones, Ivan and Red dig back into the Boars, Gore, And Swords book club, where they cover the chapters of George R.R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” series that correspond to the previous television season. No TV spoilers! In the box this week, it’s “A Storm of Swords” Daenerys V (page 639 hardback, 774 paperback) and Tyion VII (654 hardback, 793 paperback). They discuss the scale of Mereen compared to The Wall, the Titan’s Bastard, Eric Schlosser’s upsetting facts, not being a dick on the field of battle, the conflicting reports of Ed Skrein, Strong Belwas and his squire, what to do if there’s no toilet paper on the field of battle, legal language for prophecies, excessive waddling, and surviving dry weddings.

With the completion of Season 4 of HBO’s Game of Thrones, Ivan and Red dig back into the Boars, Gore, And Swords book club, where Ivan and Red cover the chapters of George R.R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” series that correspond to the previous television season. No TV spoilers! Many thanks to Bannermen Chelle Victory and Dolorous Edd who took the time to look through the books and assemble a reading guide for our book club. This week it’s “A Storm of Swords” Tyrion VI (page 588 in hardback, 711 in paperback) and Jon VII (Page 610 in hardback, 738 in paperback) Ivan and Red cover absurd fantasy names, survivors of the Dunk and Egg series, Joffrey defying Tywin, Ramsay and Arya for couple of the year, Castle Black’s poor defenses, and Jerky as a building material.

 “The Children”, Season 4, Episode 10, of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” packs a lot of paternal angst into the season finale of the fourth season. Ivan and Red are joined by Oakland based comedian O.J. Patterson, the force behind the San Francisco Bay Area comedy blog, Courting Comedy. They discuss Bryan Cogman’s new venture, the Lee Pace show, Crows eating crow, the return of Mance Rayder, surprise Stannis, Dr. Franqyburn’s experiments on Gregor Clegane, Tywin’s surprising ignorance, Daenerys’s Dragon privilege, Hodor breaking the fourth wall, fan favorites meeting up, sociopathic Arya, Shae and Tyrion reunited, and a Father’s Day gift for Tywin.

“The Watchers on the Wall”, Season 4, Episode 9, of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” is all about Gore and Swords (and Giants) which makes this podcast the perfect vehicle for discussion. Ivan and Red are joined by third chair Kelly Anneken to discuss episode Director Neil Marshall, the troubles with baking on top of the Wall, Sam Tarly lawyering his celibacy Oath, the North Korea of the Midwest, baby acting, Alliser Thorne’s leadership skills, the biggest Sam Tarly on the Wall, gate holding, the battle of two characters nobody cares about, the search for Mance Rayder, the leadership of comic relief, the disappointment of Ghost, the rise of Samwell Tarly, and predictions for the final episode.

“The Mountain and the Viper”, Season 4, Episode 8 of HBO’s “Game of Thrones”, is both the end for some cherished characters as well as a new beginning for others. Ivan and Red are joined by Lydia Popovich to discuss the return of Alex Graves, Joan Rivers’ first gig in Moletown, House Royce, Schrödinger's baby, buff eunuchs bathing, appropriate musical queues, the rise of Reek, Littlefinger’s first two mix tapes, terribly “Robin” puns, the pride of Ser Barristan Selmy, catfishing the Khaleesi, Sansa wearing this season’s “Lenny Kravitz”, Tyrion’s Vargo Hoat impression, the rules of dueling, and father of the year, Tywin Lannister.

Since this season’s “Breaker of Chains”, Game of Thrones’ handling of women and sex has been under intense scrutiny, and with a break in the show over Memorial Day, we dedicate an entire episode to bringing on two of our favorite guests and comedians to discuss exactly these topics! Kelly Anneken & Lydia Popovich join Ivan & Red to discuss Shae as an operator, Olenna Tyrell as a role model, what to do with Ros, the defanging of Arya, Sansa as criticism of the fantasy genre, the big red tent of feminism, Brienne’s Maxi Armor, and issues with the translation from book to tv of the most controversial scenes in the show. This episode is brought to you by HuluPlus, sign up  at huluplus.com/boars and get two weeks of HuluPlus for free!

“Mockingbird”, Season 4, Episode 7 of HBO’s “Game of Thrones”, isn’t just a table setting for the last three episodes, it’s loaded with surprises. Ivan and Red are back in San Francisco and are joined by comedian Ryan Cronin, who is known for his sketch group and for being one half of the vocals for the podcast’s theme. They discuss the return of Hot Pie, Rorge, Biter, and the Turnip Truck Driver, Jaime’s terrible bargaining, the philosophy of the dying british guy, the Builders at The Wall being unprepared, Daenerys turning men into objects, The Mountain and his CrossFit, Tyrion’s champion, Sansa’s true talent, and marital troubles in The Eeyrie.

“The Laws of Gods and Men”, Season 4, Episode 6 of HBO’s “Game of Thrones”, is the “Law and Order” crossover so many have clamored for. Ivan & Red discuss this episode from the Bridgetown comedy festival in Portland, where Ivan’s voice has been claimed by Voodoo (Donuts) and a level of debauchery bested only by the late King Robert Baratheon. They discuss the famous street artist Iron Banksy of Braavos, Occupy Braavos, power chairs, terrible joke tellers, sound insulation in castle bedrooms, the rise of Reek, Question Time with Daenerys, cupbearer Mace Tyrell, plotting in front of Thrones, the cattiness of Meryn Trant, the first asexual of Westeros, King Tommen’s line-reading, and Tyrion busting into “Let it Go”.   This episode is brought to you by HuluPlus, sign up at huluplus.com/boars and get two weeks of HuluPlus for free!

“First of His Name”, Season 4 Episode 5 of HBO’s “Game of Thrones”, is a real return to form as the show continues its strongest season. With our third King since the series started, we get our first coronation in King’s Landing with Tommen Lannist… Baratheon, Cersei arranges a second son’s marriage to the same woman, Daenerys realizes in all the conquering she’s forgotten to rule, HUGE realizations as Littlefinger and Sansa arrive at the Eeyrie, the ponzi scheme of Casterly rock, comical horse riding, Jojen has a vision, a boy and his wolf reunite, and Craester’s wives take a stand. This episode brought to you by Pro Flowers, to get a beautiful 100 Blooms bouquet plus a free glass vase in time for Mother’s Day, go to proflowers.com, click the blue mic, and use code “GoT”!

“Oathkeeper”, Season 4 Episode 4 of HBO’s “Game of Thrones”, is exposition heavy after starting the season with three extremely action packed episodes. Ivan and Red are joined by Scott Simpson of “You Look Nice Today”. They discuss unrealistic television sewers, Daenerys’s missed opportunity to sing “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina”, the sword fight version of “stop hitting yourself”, Jamie managing a Foot Locker, Olenna Tyrell walking leisurely through gardens, the moral purity of Hodor, Westerosi Algebra, and The Fortress of Solitude. This episode is brought to you by: Pro Flowers, to get a dozen roses sent for $19.99, go to proflowers.com, click the blue mic, and use code “GoT”! HuluPlus, sign up at http://huluplus.com/boars and get two weeks of HuluPlus for free!

“Breaker of Chains”, Season 4 Episode 3 of HBO’s “Game of Thrones”, takes a victory lap, before dealing with the ripples of one of the biggest shocks to hit Westeros yet. Ivan and Red are joined by comedian Matt Lieb to discuss this episode which sets the stage for the rest of the season. We cover Sansa running into Gendry, Littlefinger doing Batman’s voice, the absolute worst kind of sexual act, the loudest slurping scene in modern television, The Hound going Galt, Samwell Tarly’s poor judgement, the return of The BORG (or Thenns), knife to horse combat, and a really respectable pyramid. This episode is brought to you by: Loot Crate, use code “boars” to get 10% off your subscription, it’s like a monthly Comic-Con in a box! Just go to http://lootcrate.com/boars

Season 4 Episode 2 of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” takes the fourth season to an entirely different level. Ivan and Red are joined by comedian and Business-man Sean Keane to discuss an episode that is certain to be a classic in this realm. We cover the most disturbing tv scene in television history, Joffrey’s dream woman, a refocusing on Bronn’s storyline, the insufficient bastard naming system, Theon going to Barber school, Skyler vs Shae, the lineage of Dragonstone, Joffrey’s wonderfully short wedding ceremony, new Tommen, Ser Loras vs Ser Jaime, Brienne vs Cersei, the indignity of the little person acting troupe, and reams and reams of comeuppance. This episode is brought to you by: - NatureBox, for 50% off your first box of snacks you can feel good about, go to http://NatureBox.com/boars - HuluPlus, try 2 weeks of HuluPlus completely free when you sign up at http://HuluPlus.com/boars  

With the long awaited Season 4 Premiere of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” is upon us, Ivan and Red cut deep into “Two Swords”. They’re joined by third chair Kelly Anneken, and the three of them discuss molten Ice, the sequel to Ser Captain America - The Winter is Coming Soldier, Tall Joffrey, the introduction of Prince Oberyn AKA “The Red Viper”, mc’ing weddings for cake, the newer/higher mountain, Assassin Kenny Rogers, Jaime going full Buster Bluth, The Cannibal Borg, Joffrey’s Saxophone statue, the abbreviated "Ser Duncan the Tall", and the beautiful reunion of a girl and her named sword! This episode is brought to you by NatureBox, for 50% off your first box of snacks you can feel good about, go to http://naturebox.com/boars

With the Season 4 premiere of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” only a week away, Ivan and Red devote an entire episode to getting you up to speed so you can tell your Tyrions from your Tywins, recall there’s a “Rickon” Stark, and that Jaime’s no longer right-handed. They cover every single character in George R.R. Martin’s world, answering 4 questions for each: Are they Alive, Dead, Wights, or White Walkers? Where did we leave them at the end of Season? Do we care? Wild, unspoilery predictions about what they’ll be doing in Season 4. Questions that get answered include: Who is Locke? Is Balon Greyjoy alive? Who did Melisandre curse to die? It’s the perfect way to prepare yourself for the premiere!