So Very Wrong About Games

"Planned obsolescence" is not just an economic term, it is a way of life for some companies. It is the practice of deliberately making a sold item frail or of limited use until it is unfashionable; this forces the consumer to replace it sooner than they would otherwise. Analysts tell us that it is best deployed by oligopolies to increase their sales volume. Completely unrelatedly, we talk about Games Workshop in the news.Games Played Last Week:01:26 -Mindbug (Skaff Elias, Richard Garfield, Marvin Hegen, & Christian Kudahl, Nerdlab Games, 2021)03:36 -Ticket to Ride: Germany (Alan R. Moon, Days of Wonder, 2017)06:18 -Chocolate Factory (Matthew Dunstan & Brett J. Gilbert, Alley Cat Games, 2019)08:22 -Cockroach Poker (Jacques Zeimet, Drei Magier Spiele, 2004)09:55 -My Farm Shop (Rüdiger Dorn, Pegasus Spiele, 2020)12:05 -Royal Visit (Reiner Knizia, IELLO, 2021)14:18 -Dunaïa (Thomas Dupont, BLAM !, 2021)15:42 -The Siege of Runedar (Reiner Knizia, Ludonova, 2021)20:10 -One Deck Dungeon: Abyssal Depth

This topic was suggested by Penn State law professor Jacob Schuman, although let us be perfectly clear that he does not necessarily endorse any of the views expressed. I mean, if Justices Breyer and/or Alito heard us impugn their oracular insights, no doubt we would be put on blast; much like those terrible journalists for having the sheer gall to posit that judges are, well, human and all. Perish the thought! We also apologize for suggesting that textualism does not ineffably guide one to the True and Correct Opinion, just like it did in Bostock, where textualist methods gave you at least three competing interpretations.01:05 AYURIS: Clinic Deluxe Edition (Alban Viard, AVStudioGames, 2019)Games Played Last Week:03:40 -Tinners' Trail (Martin Wallace, Alley Cat Games, 2021)07:09 -Merchants of Amsterdam (Reiner Knizia, Rio Grande Games, 2000) 10:59 -Merchants Cove (Jonny Pac, Carl Van Ostrand, & Drake Villareal, Final Frontier Games, 2021)13:26 -Ra (Reiner Knizia, alea, 1999)15:17 -Isle of Cats (Frank W

We are dangerously approaching peak culture here on SVWAG. In addition to Masterpiece Theatre, we have the return of the pie ranking system, plus now music tie-ins for Arkhipov Day. Could a wine section be far behind? Well, actually, Mark labels most of Walker's in-game comments the wine section. You see?! Yet more culture!Games Played Last Week:01:53 -Tidal Blades: Heroes of the Reef (Tim Eisner & Ben Eisner, Druid City Games, 2020)02:41 -ALIEN: Fate of the Nostromo (Scott Rogers, Ravensburger, 2021)04:38 -For Science! (R. Eric Reuss, Grey Fox Games, 2021)08:40 -Project: ELITE (Konstantinos Kokkinis, Marco Portugal, & Sotirios Tsantilas, CMON, 2020)09:57 -Ankh: Gods of Egypt (Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2021)15:31 -Brass: Birmingham (Gavan Brown, Matt Tolman, & Martin Wallace, Roxley, 2018)17:33 -Paint the Roses (Ben Goldman, North Star Games, 2022)22:17 -Keep the Heroes Out (Luís Brüeh, Self-published, 2022)23:49 -A Feast for Odin (Uwe Rosenberg, Feuerland Spiele, 2016)28:45 -After the Empire (Evan

It was a thrill to have a pan-Anglo alliance together to raise money for Food Banks Canada, with many current or prior Commonwealth countries represented either on the stream or in the donations. That is globalism we can get behind here at SVWAG. That said, let us make our next planned fundraising endeavour yet more international: a Kickstarter campaign to fund Mark's acquisition of a Ferrari Portofino. Equally altruistic, yes?02:56 -Posthuman Saga (Gordon Calleja, Mighty Boards, 2019)Games Played Last Week:04:21 -Galaxy Trucker (Vlaada Chvátil, Czech Games Edition, 2021)10:36 -Barrage (Tommaso Battista & Simone Luciani, Cranio Creations, 2019)12:36 -Ankh: Gods of Egypt (Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2021)16:12 -Neuroshima Hex!: The Year of Moloch (Michał Oracz, Portal Games, 2021)19:41 -Towering Dice (marcmagus, Web published, 2021)22:09 -Streets (Haakon Gaarder, Sinister Fish Games, 2021)25:02 -Draftosaurus (Antoine Bauza, Corentin Lebrat, Ludovic Maublanc, & Théo Rivière, Ankama, 2019)28:05 -Settlement (

In case you missed it, we have now offered to the series of tubes the definitive website for all your non-porn non-cat needs. Sowronggames.com is your official repository for all things SVWAG, including all of our episodes, editorial policies, the full Swagoo, and definitions of all the arcane cant of the show (such as Swagoo). Excellent for neophytes and long-time Svwaggers alike. Unlike other websites, we don't discriminate against bots! We believe sapient bots deserve full moral recognition, and that includes access to our font of digital nonsense. You're welcome, Messrs. Prime and Magnus.Games Played Last Week:01:12 -Ankh: Gods of Egypt (Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2021)07:44 -Furnace (Ivan Lashin, Hobby World, 2021)11:58 -Core Worlds: Galactic Orders (Andrew Parks, Stronghold Games, 2012)14:34 -Khôra: Rise of an Empire (Head Quarter Simulation Game Club, IELLO, 2021)17:23 -Tapestry (Jamey Stegmaier, Stonemaier Games, 2019)19:46 -The Resistance: Avalon (Don Eskridge, Indie Boards & Cards, 2012)21:46 -

All right, we need to talk about Sokka. Another staple of kid's shows is often The Annoying One. I don't know why, but they're often there. Steven Universe had Ronaldo, but they knew to use him sparingly. Sokka is so aggressively obnoxious in the first two episodes it is a miracle anyone makes it to episode three. He could have just been the complainer, but additionally his monumental and gratuitous misogyny is so bad that one wonders what Suki (an awesome character) ever saw in him. Sure, he gets better, but always in my mind the Early Days Sokka looms over the show like some terrible shadow.00:59 AYURIS: On Mars (Vital Lacerda, Eagle-Gryphon Games, 2020)Games Played Last Week:02:33 -Cryo (Tom Jolly & Luke Laurie, Z-Man Games, 2021)07:22 -Red Outpost (Raman Hryoryk, Lifestyle Boargames Ltd, 2019)11:38 -Cantaloop: Book 1--Breaking into Prison (Friendemann Findeisen & Grzegorz Kobiela, Lookout Games, 2020)15:36 -Brass: Birmingham (Gavan Brown, Matt Tolman, & Martin Wallace, Roxley, 2018

We have seen the future, and it is now. We have fired up our Netscape Navigator, and interfaced the hypertext protocol over at Geocities, and made us our very own webzone. Maybe soon we'll be able to set up an FTP server for our episodes. We will register on every web ring we can find, whether it's about Sailor Moon or Tamagotchi or Neopets. So go tell your Usenet groups to head on over to sowronggames.com! Games Played Last Week:01:14 -Tidal Blades: Heroes of the Reef (Tim Eisner & Ben Eisner, Druid City Games, 2020)03:51 -Cascadia (Randy Flynn, Flatout Games, 2021)07:54 -Yokohama (Hisashi Hayashi, Tasty Minstrel Games, 2016)08:27 -So Clover! (François Romain, Repos Production, 2021)10:27 -Codenames (Vlaada Chvatil, CGE, 2015)12:33 -Equinox (Reiner Knizia, Plan B Games, 2021)12:58 -Ankh: Gods of Egypt (Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2021)17:25 -Quest (Don Eskridge, Indie Boards & Cards, 2021)20:38 -Atelier: The Painter's Studio (Uncredited, Alderac Entertainment Group, 2019)23:23 -Warp's Edge (S

MARCUS BIGNEYHere comes Fantasy Flight's body, mourned by Michael Walker: who,though he had no hand in its death, shall receivethe benefit of its dying, a place in thehobby; as which of you shall not? WALKERFriends, gamers, hobbyists, lend me your ears;I come to bury Fantasy Flight, not to praise it.The evil that publishers do lives after them;The good is oft interred with their bones;So let it be with Fantasy Flight. The noble BigneyHath told you FFG was ambitious:If it were so, it was a grievous fault,And grievously hath FFG answer'd it.Here, under leave of Bigney and the rest--For Bigney is an honourable man;So are they all, all honourable men--Come I to speak in FFG's funeral.It was my friend, faithful and just to me:But Bigney says it was ambitious;And Bigney is an honourable man.It hath published many games home to RomeWhose playing did the gaming public thrill:Did this in FFG seem ambitious?When that the games were broken, FFG hath wept:Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:Yet Bigney sa

Cultural gaps can be quite tragic, to say nothing of socially debilitating. Mark discovers to his horror that Walker is unfamiliar both with a key game and a crucial character in film history. Thank goodness that this faux pas does not sully Masterpiece Theatre, as that would bring shame to both the Warrior of the Wasteland and Vin Diesel. Games Played Last Week:01:02 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)03:19 -Onitama (Shimpei Sato, conception, 2014)04:46 -Card Capture (Lucas Gentry, Wep published, 2018)07:06 -Flotilla (J.B. Howell & Michael Mihealsick, WizKids, 2019)11:56 -Veritas (James Ernest & Mike Selinker, Cheapass Games, 2013)16:04 -The Shipwreck Arcana (Kevin Bishop, Meromorph Games, 2017) 19:14 -Empire of the Stars (Adam West, CrossCut Games, 2021)25:04 -Ruination (Travis R. Chance, Kolossal Games, 2021)28:33 -The Staufer Dynasty (Andreas Steding, Z-Man Games, 2014)30:22 -Mandala Stones (Filip Głowacz, Board&Dice, 2021)33:21 -Detective Club

I used to tell a joke about Heimdall, but it was pretty horny. I used to tell a joke about Osiris, but it fell to pieces. I used to tell a joke about Venus, but it was masturbatory. I used to tell a joke about Sleipnir, but it didn't have legs. I used to tell a joke about Prometheus, but it needed a spark. I used to tell a joke about Draupnir, but it just didn't ever end. I used to tell a joke about Marathon, but it was a bit of a long walk. I used to tell a joke about the Hecatoncheires, but it was punching down. I used to tell a joke about Tyr, but it wasn't even-handed. I used to tell a joke about Ragnarok, but everyone knew the end already. I used to tell a joke about Jormungand, but it was very toxic. I used to tell a joke about Pandora, but it was too out of the box. I used to tell a joke about Cerberus, but it was just gatekeeping. I used to tell a joke about Yggdrasil, but I had to leaf. I used to tell a joke about the labyrinth's inhabitant, but it was bull. I used to tell a joke abou

We delve deep into knowledge and doubt this week on SVWAG. How do we know what we know? How can we know what we don't know? Why did Mark think Vienna Connection was a train game? Who or what is Wormy Plums, and is it a euphemism for some kind of sex act? Why is there no Masterpiece Theatre? Thankfully, we can at least answer that last question--it is because The F8 of the Furious took such a toll on the hosts' psyches that they needed a break to recuperate.Games Played Last Week:01:16 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)04:44 -Brew (Stevo Torres, Pandasaurus Games, 2021)08:40 -Space Base (John D. Clair, AEG, 2018)12:17 -Fortress (Fridemann Friese, 2F-Spiele, 2017)14:56 -Destinies (Michał Gołębiowski & Filip Miłuński, Lucky Duck Games, 2021)17:57 -Imperium: Legends (Nigel Buckle & Dávid Turczi, Osprey Games, 2021)22:01 -Isle of Skye: From Chieftain to King (Andreas Pelikan & Alexander Pfister, Lookout Games, 2015)24:20 -Fairy Tale (Satoshi Nak

The crushing burden of Masterpiece Theatre is having a toll. I had an attitude problem, but then I took a timeout, and I thought about what I did. The success of the Fast and/or Furious movies is undeniable--business-wise, this all seems like appropriate business--but at what cost? I went to the stock market today. I did a business. SVWAG is most emphatically not children stacked together wearing a trenchcoat. Would you like a alcohol? 02:39 AYURIS: Catan: Starfarers (Klaus Teuber, KOSMOS, 2019)Games Played Last Week:03:53 -Sunset Over Water (Eduardo Baraf, Steve Finn, & Keith Matejka, Delight, 2018)06:44 -Isle of Skye: From Chieftain to King (Andreas Pelikan & Alexander Pfister, Lookout Games, 2015)09:27 -Mysterium Park (Oleksandr Nevskiy & Oleg Sidorenko, Libellud, 2020)11:33 -Imperium: The Contention (Gary Dworetsky, Contention Games, 2021)14:32 -Crash Octopus (Naotaka Shimamoto, itten, 2021)15:02 -Dice Miner (Joshua DeBonis & Nikola Risteski, Atlas Games, 2021)16:40 -Regicide (Paul Abraham

NB: "Language independent" can be a loaded term, and we confess we used it a tad sloppily in our discussion of Tribune. Latin is used throughout the game, and ain't nobody speaks Latin as their first language anymore, but nonetheless in hindsight we could have been more sensitive to those more familiar with non-Latin alphabets. Thus, we should say that the original Primus Inter Pares expansion and the new Spielworxx Tribune are language-independent but not alphabet-independent. I dare any game with an appropriate time period as a theme try to get away with cuneiform. Games Played Last Week:01:25 -Coffee Traders (Rolf Sagel & André Spil, Capstone Games, 2021)05:05 -Praga Caput Regni (Vladimír Suchý, Delicious Games, 2020)06:18 -Kabuto Sumo (Tony Miller, BoardGameTables.com, 2021)08:21 -Crash Octopus (Naotaka Shimamoto, itten, 2021)11:05 -Pan Am (Prospero Hall, Funko Games, 2020)13:37 -Terraforming Mars: Ares Expedition (Sydney Engelstein, Jacob Fryxelius, & Nick Little, Stronghold Games, 20

Absence, as they say, makes the heart grow fonder, which I believe was an aphorism coined about a gamer's relationship with their prized game collection. Mark finds himself separated against his will from his many many boxes, which makes Walker's occasional reminders of games he left behind all the more painful. Fortunately, Mark has his stable of insect rikishi to keep him company.01:18 AYURIS: Last Bastion (Antoine Bauza, Repos Production, 2019)Games Played Last Week:03:19 -Spire's End (Greg Favro, Self-Published, 2019)05:41 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)05:55 -Race for the Galaxy (Thomas Lehmann, Rio Grande Games, 2007)06:00 -Imperium: Classics and Imperium: Legends (Nigel Buckle & Dávid Turczi, Osprey Games, 2021)07:33 -Orleans (Reiner Stockhausen, dlp Games, 2014)09:30 -The Quacks of Quedlinburg (Wolfgang Warsch, Scmidt Spiele, 2018)11:36 -Sleeping Gods (Ryan Laukat, Red Raven Games, 2021)17:08 -Pan Am (Prospero Hall, Funko Games, 2020

With Mark out of town, we peek behind the curtain here at SVWAG, offering you insights from the seldom-heard support staff that make this show possible. Walker seems liberated from his overbearing colleague, while others are coping with loss in their own way.Games Played Last Week:00:40 -Shards of Infinity (Gary Arant & Justin Gary, Stone Blade Entertainment, 2018)01:11 -Spire's End (Greg Favro, Self-Published, 2019)02:39 -Lords of Hellas (Awam Kwapinski, Awaken Realms, 2018)04:04 -Carnegie (Xavier Georges, Quined Games, 2021)News (and why it doesn't matter): 05:07 SVWAG HQ after Mark's disappearance06:24 Dune Imperium expands06:48 Terraforming Mars: Ares Expedition launch issues08:13 On Mars expands08:42 Machi Koro 209:17 Artisans of Splendent Vale09:46 Topic: Can a Game Be Bad?Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Mark has not yet finished his Cain-like eternal wanderings throughout Canada (though he didn't even murder any siblings), but we nonetheless conspired in advance to make this episode possible. Sporadic though our output may be until such time as SVWAG West gets established, we will take care of you as best we can. Games Played Last Week:02:03 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)05:41 -Pax Viking (Jon Mankr, Ion Game Design, 2021)09:46 -Dinosaur Tea Party (Rob Daviau, JR Honeycutt, & Justin D. Jacobson, Restoration Games, 2018)10:41 -Million Dollar Script (Daniel Stamm, Portal Games, 2021)15:45 -Scape Goat (Jon Perry, Indie Boards & Cards, 2020)16:56 -Sonic the Hedgehog: Crash Course (Sean Dallas McDonald, IDW Games, 2018) 20:07 -Babylonia (Reiner Knizia, Ludonova, 2019)22:17 -In the Shadow of the Emperor (Ralf Burkert, Rio Grande Games, 2004)25:51 -Imperium: The Contention (Gary Dworetsky, Contention Games, 2021)News (and why it doesn't matter):

It's a card game that spans over four thousand years, but Walker would insist that it only feels like you're playing for three thousand, tops. The great thing about reviewing games by Dávid Turczi is that if you don't enjoy the latest game he's published, wait five minutes and he'll have another one for you. Please remember to tip your server.Games Played Last Week:01:16 -Dice Miner (Joshua DeBonis & Nikola Risteski, Atlas Games, 2021)02:55 -Inlfuentia (Miguel Bruque, Ludonova, 2020)06:58 -L.A.M.A. Dice (Reiner Knizia, AMIGO, 2021)08:05 -MicroMacro: Crime City (Johannes Sich, Pegasus Spiele, 2020)10:09 -Yura Yura Penguin (Yabuchi Ryoko, Self-Published, 2020)11:02 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)13:28 -Pax Viking (Jon Mankr, Ion Game Design, 2021)17:26 -Tutankhamun (Reiner Knizia, 25th Century Games, 2021)23:18 -Lancaster: Big Box (Matthias Cramer & Wolfgang Panning, Queen Games, 2015)27:59 -Spire's End (Greg Favro, Sel-Publish

As far as Walker is concerned, when he says that Mark is a jerk and he smells funny, that's a prime example of a combo. Mark counters that a perfectly sensible combo is a podcast about board games issuing random observations of silly blockbuster movies. In either case, if you want your mind to break and your conception of reality to weaken, we encourage you to investigate short scale vs. long scale. Numbers are meaningless and all is illusion. Another combo!01:45 AYURIS: Cloudspire (Josh J. Carlson, Adam Carlson, & Josh Wielgus, Chip Theory Games, 2019)Games Played Last Week:04:42 -Merchants Cove (Jonny Pac, Carl Van Ostrand, & Drake Villareal, Final Frontier Games, 2021) 11:12 -Rangers of Shadow Deep (Joseph McCullough, Self-Published, 2018)14:07 -Dice Miner (Joshua DeBonis & Nikola Risteski, Atlas Games, 2021)17:34 -Railroad Ink Challenge (Hjalmar Hach & Lorenzo Silva, Horrible Guild, 2021)19:55 -The Quest for El Dorado: The Golden Temples (Reiner Knizia, Ravensburger, 2019)24:23 -L.A.M.

Titles, as Herr Doktor Doktor Vincent Diesel, esq. O.B.E. could tell you, are important things. They must be recorded for posterity, quite literally in the case of Dogberry: "But masters, remember that I am an ass, though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass." Mark and Walker are bereft of such honorifics; "Gilded Ones" apparently only applies if you go the full gilt route, which sounds way too painful to endorse. Whether philosophers get any titles past "lovers of wisdom" is a matter of some controversy; Mark weighs in all the same. Games Played Last Week:00:50 -Pandemic: The Cure (Matt Leacock, Z-Man Games, 2014) 04:07 -Fairy Tale (Satoshi Nakamura, Z-Man Games, 2004)07:13 -Plantopia (Daryl Chow, Origame, 2020)10:30 -Paleontologists (Joe Hout, Web published, 2020)11:15 -Shards of Infinity (Gary Arant & Justin Gary, Stone Blade Entertainment, 2018)16:00 -Dominion (Donald X. Vaccarino, Rio Grande Games, 2008)16:39 -Imperium: Classics (Nigel Buckle & Dávid Tur

If Walker doesn't want Mark to speak to excess, he really shouldn't be teeing him up by asking about Macross. Or Robotech either, because the difference thereto is a whole discussion unto itself. Of course, Walker is an accomplished troll, willing to return to any subject once raised. Mark has repeatedly been exhorted to not feed trolls, but really, that's just blaming the victim. At this point it's mostly just mutual trolling, like an ouroboros of nonsense. I think SVWAG might have a new tagline.01:39 AYRUIS: Rurik: Dawn of Kiev (Stan Kordonskiy, PieceKeeper Games, 2019)Games Played Last Week:03:46 -51st State: Master Set--Moloch (Joanna Kijanka, Portal Games, 2021)08:13 -Gaia Project (Jens Drögemüller & Helge Ostertag, Feuerland Spiele, 2017)10:38 -Beyond the Sun (Dennis K. Chan, Rio Grande Games, 2020)12:17 -Great Western Trail (Alexander Pfister, eggertspiele, 2016)13:20 -No Thanks! (Thorsten Gimmler, AMIGO, 2004)17:27 -Aquatica: Cold Waters (Ivan Tuzovsky, Arcane Wonders, 2020) 20:42