So Very Wrong About Games

Yes, we are but slaves to the new releases, which is why we are reviewing a fifteen-year-old game. "But that's impossible!" you reply, "No one was alive back then!" Records are scant, but there is a rich oral tradition that people have been playing games at least since the release of Nirvana's Nevermind. Archeologists are still trying to carbon-date that period exactly, though.Games Played Last Week:01:39 -Dead Reckoning (John D. Clair, Alderac Entertainment Group, 2022)08:14 -Cosmic Frog (Jim Felli, Devious Weasel Games, 2020)09:54 -Familienbande (Leo Colovini, Winning Moves Germany, 2004)13:23 -Barrage (Tommaso Battista & Simone Luciani, Cranio Creations, 2019)16:04 -Cursed Court (Andrew Hanson, Atlas Games, 2017)19:37 -Blockers! (Kory Heath, AMIGO, 2007)21:48 -Dicke Dämonen (Heinrich Glumpler, Edition Erlkönig, 2004)24:09 -New York Zoo (Uwe Rosenberg, Feuerland Spiele, 2020)28:05 -Khmer (team SAIEN, Saien, 2010)30:05 -Priests of Ra (Reiner Knizia, Rio Grande Games, 2009)News (an

Kids in the Hall reviewing Great Western Trail:"What's the point of what we do?""Sorry, I don't follow you.""Well, I mean, we travel 250,000 light years across the universe, abduct cows, probe them, and release them.""Yeah, and?""Well, doesn't it seem kind of pointless?""I don't think I should question the leadership of our Great Leader.""Oh, come on. We've been coming here for fifty years and performing cow probes, and all that we have learned is that one in ten doesn't really seem to mind. Couldn't we at least abduct their political or religious leaders instead of just random livestock?""I'm sure the Great Leader has his reasons.""Well, I'm sure the Great Leader is just some twisted cow freak."01:21 AYURIS: Cthulhu: Death May Die (Eric M. Lang & Rob Daviau, CMON, 2019)Games Played Last Week:04:19 -Switch & Signal (David Thompson, KOSMOS, 2020)06:32 -Big Monster (Dimitri Perrier, BoardBros, 201

Let us not, as the saying goes, hold the perfect in opposition to the good. We here at SVWAG always encourage the lowering of standards, which the hosts tend to do by their very presences--dragging down the average of any group of which they are a part. We offer but a portion of an episode, but let us be optimists and observe that that allows us to be less wrong.01:34 AYURIS: Versailles 1919 (Geoff Engelstein & Mark Herman, GMT Games, 2020)Games Played Last Week:05:42 -Creature Comforts (Roberta Taylor, Kids Table BG, 2022)10:18 -IKI (Koota Yamada, Sorry We Are French, 2015)14:24 -The Red Cathedral (Israel Cendrero & Sheila Santos, Devir Games, 2020)18:45 -Switch & Signal (David Thompson, KOSMOS, 2020)22:55 -Core Worlds (Andrew Parks, Stronghold, 2011)26:08 -SCOUT (Kei Kajino, Oink Games, 2019)28:50 -Dinosaur Island: Rawr 'n Write (Brian Lewis, David McGregor, & Marissa Misura, Pandasaurus Games, 2021)31:16 -Just One (Ludovic Roudy & Bruno Sautter, Repos Production, 2018)33:30 -Brass:

The range of new features our merch line has opened up is endless. Who wore it better?, SVWAG Hypebeast, Project Runway SVWAG, Making the Cut SVWAG, the possibilities abound! Get me Tim Gunn on the line, I'm sure he's heard of us. I'm sure we'll see His Grace, Professor Doktor Doktor Vincent, Duke of Diesel, esq. O.B.E. in a t-shirt two sizes too small before long. 01:07 AYURIS: Imperial Struggle (Ananda Gupta & Jason Matthews, GMT Games, 2020)Games Played Last Week:03:26 -Black Hole Rainbows (Uncredited, June Dune Games Production, 2022)06:45 -Ascension Tactics: Miniatures Deckbuilding Game (Justin Gary & Ryan Sutherland, Stone Blade Entertainment, 2021)15:00 -Meeples and Monsters (Ole Steiness, Alderac Entertainment Group, 2022)17:17 -Assault on Doomrock: Ultimate Edition (Tom Stasiak, Beautiful Disaster Games, 2022)22:45 -Teotihuacan: Late Preclassic Period (Rainer Ahlfors, Andrei Novac, & Daniele Tascini, Board2Dice, 2019)28:01 -Crash Octopus (Naotaka Shimamoto, itten, 2021)31

Much art is discussed this week, from French Romantics, to pirate stuff, to conspiracist vision boards, to whatever Walker is doing when he uses clothespins on felt. Mark wonders whether he can justify leaving in dead air and calling it "bold use of negative space," but the deeper worry is that too many people would prefer the silence. Games Played Last Week:01:14 -Ark Nova (Mathias Wigge, Feuerland Spiele, 2021)05:46 -Agricola (Revised Edition) (Uwe Rosenberg, Lookout Games, 2016)10:09 -Witchstone (Martino Chiacchiera & Reiner Knizia, R&R Games, 2021)10:50 -Republic of Virtue (Amabel Holland, Hollandspiele, 2021)15:08 -Pulsar 2849 (Vladimír Suchý, CGE, 2017)22:58 -Libertalia: Winds of Galecrest (Paolo Mori, Stonemaier Games, 2022)31:16 -Pictures: Orange (Daniela Stöhr & Christian Stöhr, PD-Verlag, 2021)34:50 -Reichbusters: Project Vril (Jake Thornton, Mythic Games, 2020)38:11 -Table Battles (Amabel Holland, Hollandspiele, 2017)43:19 -Ascension Tactics: Miniatures Deckbuilding Game (Justin

We're always on the lookout for new potential taglines here at SVWAG, as our earlier efforts "that one where the guy talks to that dude" and "we shout into a can so you don't have to" have been deemed insufficient. "We like it hard" was put forth by Walker, but the editorial staff are afraid it is apt to be misconstrued. "We weaponize children" was rejected for the opposite reason, namely that it might be correctly interpreted. Specificity tends to get us into trouble, which is why we have kept "a boardgaming podcast about boardgames" for as long as we have.1:04 AYURIS: Project: ELITE (Konstantinos Kokkinis, Marco Portugal, & Sotirios Tsantilas, CMON, 2020)Games Played Last Week:02:33 -Crusaders: Thy Will Be Done (Seth Jaffee, Tasty Minstrel, 2018)04:54 -Beyond the Sun (Dennis K. Chan, Rio Grande Games, 2020)08:48 -Gutenberg (Katarzyna Cioch & Wojciech Wiśniewski, Granna, 2021)11:24 -Reign (Uncredited, PlayMonster, 2020)16:55 -Gizmos (Phil Walker-Harding

We are Canadian, and thus must perforce apologize for those we may have slandered, misquoted, or used their name in vain: Warmboy, Alan Turing, Dewey, Peggy Lee, Dick Pound, Bruno Faidutti, and His Grace, Professor Doktor Doktor Vincent, Duke of Diesel, esq. O.B.E. We are honoured to have inadvertently tarnished the reputations of such grandees.Games Played Last Week:00:52 -The Quest for El Dorado: The Golden Temples (Reiner Knizia, Ravensburger, 2019)03:59 -Copenhagen (Asger Harding Granerud & Daniel Skjold Pedersen, Queen Games, 2019)05:12 -Imperium: Classics and Imperium: Legends (Nigel Buckle & Dávid Turczi, Osprey Games, 2021)07:51 -Città-Stato (Simone Cerruti Sola, Giochix.it, 2021)10:39 -Caesar!: Seize Rome in 20 Minutes! (Paolo Mori, PSC Games, 2022)15:07 -Petrichor: Collector's Edition (David Chircop, Mighty Boards, 2021)17:58 -Merlin: Big Box (Stefan Feld & Michael Rieneck, Queen Games, 2020)20:24 -Kleos (Jim Kavanagh, Azure Horizon Games, 2021)24:51 -Vampire: The Masquerade -- Vende

It is a strange thing for one's hobby to be utterly infused with a nominally competitive structure. I would venture to say that knitters, for instance, devote precious little thought as to whether they can knit more or less well than their fellow crafters. Perhaps it is different for scrapbookers, I don't know, they seem like a ruthless lot.01:16 AYURIS: Aristeia! (Alberto Abal, Jesús Fuster, & David Rosillo, Corvus Belli, 2017)Games Played Last Week:04:20 -Città-Stato (Simone Cerruti Sola, Giochix.it, 2021) 07:04 -Uprising: Curse of the Last Emperor (Cornelius Cremin, Pawel Mazur, & Dirk Sommer, Nemesis.Games, 2021)15:34 -G.I. JOE Deck-Building Game (T.C. Petty III, Renegade Game Studios, 2021)17:16 -Bitoku (Germán P. Millán, Devir, 2021)22:58 -Steamwatchers (Marc Lagroy, Mythic Games, 2021)29:44 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)30:58 -Boonlake (Alexander Pfister, Capstone Games, 2021)38:18 -Shards of Infinity: Into the Horizon (Gary Arant, J

The So Very Wrong About Games line of Action Princess Dolls (TM) are coming to a store near you! Thrill to all your favourite characters, like Huey, Dewey, and Louis, each with weird monochromatic accessories and some spring-loaded gimmick that'll bruise some kid in Oregon and thus be regulated into weaksauce! Plus, get the Kingston Action Playset. Your parents put it together, batteries not included.Games Played Last Week:01:57 -Puzzle Strike 2 (David Sirlin, Sirlin Games, 2022)08:49 -The Crew: Mission Deep Sea (Thomas Sing, KOSMOS, 2021)10:59 -Uprising: Curse of the Last Emperor (Cornelius Cremin, Pawel Mazur, & Dirk Sommer, Nemesis.Games, 2021)11:36 -Reign of Witches (Amabel Holland, Hollandspiele, 2020)16:56 -Bitoku (Germán P. Millán, Devir, 2021)18:47 -Riftforce (Carlo Bortolini, 1 More Time Games, 2021) 20:54 -Orléans: Invasion (Inka Brand, Markus Brand, & Reiner Stockhausen, dlp Games, 2015) 22:18 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)25:29 -Fin

No, dear listener, we haven't played that one regional trick-taking game popular in the Adirondacks where the only red card is the 9 of diamonds and you play counter-clockwise and the bid is called in pig latin and you have to wear your socks on your hands. I'm sure it's a blast. We are but tourists in the wide world of taking tricks, and to some extent it can be a hobby unto itself. Contract Bridge alone! But we share our thoughts all the same.01:49 AYURIS: Clans of Caledonia (Juma Al-JouJou, Karma Games, 2017)Games Played Last Week:03:50 -Uprising: Curse of the Last Emperor (Cornelius Cremin, Pawel Mazur, & Dirk Sommer, Nemesis.Games, 2021)05:22 -Radlands (Daniel Piechnick, Roxley, 2021)10:04 -Tabbanusi: Builders of Ur (David Spada & Daniele Tascini, Board&Dice, 2021)12:33 -Shamans (Cédrick Chaboussit, Studio H, 2021) 16:09 -Ankh: Gods of Egypt (Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2021)17:51 -SCOUT (Kei Kajino, Oink Games, 2019)21:14 -Steamwatchers (Marc Lagroy, Mythic Games, 2021)22:28 -MicroMacro:

It's a star-studded eleganza extravaganza, featuring your two least-favourite SVWAG hosts giving you an incomplete capsule summary of a terrible year of great games. Of course, they neglected to play That One Game, of course, which means that all their observations are utterly useless, but how does that differentiate this episode from any other? This offering is more classy, however, as in a concession to the glitz and glamour of end-of-year shows, both hosts begrudgingly and uncharacteristically wear pants. (You might be asking--is that "pants" in the British sense or the Canadian sense? The answer is yes.)Games Played Last Week:02:50 -Fossilis (David Alberto Diaz, Kids Table BG, 2020)05:07 -In Too Deep (Josh Cappel & Daryl Chow, Burnt Island Games, 2021)10:17 -French Toast (Uncredited, Blue Beard Entertainment, 2021)12:06 -Magnate: The First City (James Naylor, Naylor Games, 2021)18:02 -Corrosion (Stefan Bauer, Capstone Games, 2021)20:35 -G.I. JOE Deck-Building Game (T.C. Petty III, Renegade

In the 14th Century B.C.E., the pharaoh Akhenaten attempted to shift Egypt into monotheism centered on the cult of the god Aten. Apparently there's some who argue it was possibly instead henotheism, whereby many gods are acknowledged but one is elevated above the others--a claim advanced about many ostensibly mono- or polytheistic religions, even some practised today--but at any rate is was exceptionally controversial. By the time his son Tutankhaten became pharaoh, the cult of Aten was suppressed, and the ascendancy of the god Amun was restored in a polytheistic pantheon. Hence the new pharaoh's name was changed from Tutankhaten to Tutankhamun. Theme!Games Played Last Week:05:51 -Coyote (Spartaco Albertarelli, New Games Order, 2015)07:19 -Assault on Doomrock: Ultimate Edition (Tom Stasiak, Beautiful Disaster Games, 2022)13:11 -Furnace (Ivan Lashin, Hobby World, 2021) 15:24 -That Time You Killed Me (Peter C. Hayward, Pandasaurus Games, 2021)22:03 -The Adventures of Robin Hood (Michael Menzel, KOSMOS,

Some things, of course, from Josie and the Pussycats have aged poorly. The idea of "record stores" and CDs (that could, in turn sell out like they were PS5s or something) is downright quaint--especially given the format of this show. I'm pretty confident that the cultural moment of Moviefone Guy has well and truly passed, despite the continued use of both movies and phones. Do people still know who Carson Daly is? I confess I never really did. Mostly I know him from that totally jerkin' movie, Josie and the Pussycats.01:39 AYURIS: Watergate (Matthias Cramer, Capstone Games, 2019)Games Played Last Week:04:10 -Sine Tempore (Luca Bernardini & Andrea Colletti, Ludus Magnus Studio, 2018)06:27 -L.A.M.A. Dice (Reiner Knizia, AMIGO, 2021)07:08 -Llamaland (Phil Walker-Harding, Lookout Games, 2021)11:40 -G.I. JOE Deck-Building Game (T.C. Petty III, Renegade Game Studios, 2021)13:59 -Assault on Doomrock: Ultimate Edition (Tom Stasiak, Beautiful Disaster Games, 2022)19:40 -Wingspan (Elizabeth Hargrave

The hosts are, briefly, back in the same room again, and this has had the unfortunate effect of bringing out the very worst in Mark. Don't worry, he doesn't spend ten minutes complaining about the implied political claims of kids' shows, but his mind naturally went to the gutter of abominable puns. You have been warned.Games Played Last Week:01:16 -On Mars (Vital Lacerda, Eagle-Gryphon Games, 2020)04:24 -Pulsar 2849 (Vladimír Suchý, CGE, 2017)06:37 -Hibachi (Marco Teubner, Grail Games, 2021)09:41 -The Siege of Runedar (Reiner Knizia, Ludonova, 2021)16:51 -Isle of Skye: Druids (Andreas Pelikan & Alexander Pfister, Lookout Games, 2018) 21:08 -L.A.M.A. Dice (Reiner Knizia, AMIGO, 2021)25:15 -The Dragon Prince: Battlecharged (Johnny O'Neal, Britherwise Games, 2021) 27:09 -Brian Boru: High King of Ireland (Peer Sylvester, Osprey Games, 2021)33:37 -7 Wonders: Architects (Antoine Bauza, Repos Production, 2021)37:21 -For Science! (R. Eric Reuss, Grey Fox Games, 2021)News (and why it doesn't ma

We skip over substantial portions of our hosts' stories, of course. No mention is made of Walker's extensive experience with Gilbert & Sullivan. Mark's stint as the Official Pokémon Master of Canada is glossed over. The deep tribal conflict of Jocks versus Geeks, of which Walker is destined to be the bridge (think Dune but even more messianic), is only alluded to. Someday, the whole story might be told, but you wouldn't believe us. 01:43 AYURIS: Nemesis (Adam Kwapiński, Awaken Realms, 2018) Games Played Last Week:04:27 -Stardew Valley: The Board Game (Eric Barone & Cle Medeiros, CorcernedApe, 2021)11:30 -Imhotep (Phil Walker-Harding, KOSMOS, 2016)14:56 -Sheepy Time (Neil Kimball, Alderac Entertainment Group, 2021)18:38 -IKI (Koota Yamada, Sorry We Are French, 2015)21:43 -Mindbug (Skaff Elias, Richard Garfield, Marvin Hegen, & Christian Kudahl, Nerdlab Games, 2021)27:55 -Paper Dungeons (Leandro Pires, MeepleBR, 2020)29:12 -Ultimate Railroads (Helmut Ohley & Leonhard "Lenny&#

We have become feature-hungry here at SVWAG. We debut Walker's Language Corner which, let us be frank, is not apt to be repeated, especially given Walker's aversion to dead languages. We finally name a recurring segment that has been airing unaccredited for years, and we have dubbed in Mark's Rage Theatre. It is Festivus every day of the year, and Mark has some grievances to air. Games Played Last Week:01:18 -Paper Dungeons (Leandro Pires, MeepleBR, 2020)04:40 -Sheepy Time (Neil Kimball, Alderac Entertainment Group, 2021)09:45 -Draftosaurus: Aerial Show (Antoine Bauza, Corentin Lebrat, Ludovic Maublanc, & Théo Rivière, Ankama, 2020)12:07 -Disney Gargoyles: Awakening (Nate Heiss, Ravensburger, 2021)16:26 -Imperial Steam (Alexander Huemer, Capstone Games, 2021)21:14 -Puerto Rico (Andreas Seyfarth, alea, 2002)27:49 -Beez (Dan Halstad, Next Move Games, 2020)30:03 -Keyflower (Sebastien Bleasdale & Richard Breese, R&D Games, 2012) BGA implementation by Radu Stefan & Adam Dewbery34:31 -Ll

One of the great tragic modern misapprehensions of history is the blanching of fascism. It seems that people can watch Attack on Titan and play with their space marines, and simply because there are no swastikas to be found they assume that there are no connections to fascistic ideology contained therein. This is one of the reasons why we so appreciate the humble cucumber sandwich--we would assert that its very fragility and delicacy evoke anti-fascism. Whether one ought to use butter or cream cheese is of great doctrinal import, of course, but we're not gonna get all dogmatic about it.01:47 AYURIS: Undaunted: Normandy (Trevor Benjamin & David Thompson, Osprey Games, 2019)Games Played Last Week:05:07 -Riftforce (Carlo Bortolini, 1 More Time Games, 2021)07:55 -Ark Nova (Mathias Wigge, Feuerland Spiele, 2021)10:21 -1846: The Race for the Midwest (Thomas Lehmann, GMT Games, 2005)20:33 -Railroad Tycoon/Railways of the World (Glenn Drover & Martin Wallace, Eagle-Gryphon Games, 2005)22:20 -Llamaland (Ph

Sometimes your devotion and enthusiasm doesn't translate into research or comprehensiveness. Case in point, dear listeners--The Legend of Korra, a franchise Walker introduced to Mark, is one that Walker loves but--shocker!--is one he has only seen but half of. It is revealed during Mark's unhinged ramblings about he would have "fixed" season 3 that Walker is utterly unfamiliar with what he's talking about, and not for the usual reasons. Masterpiece Theatre will never be the same, and Walker just discovered he's got a lot more episodes of Korra than he thought existed.01:12 AYURIS: Tainted Grail: Fall of Avalon (Krzysztof Piskorski & Marcin Świerkot, Awaken Realms, 2019)Games Played Last Week:04:40 -Sine Tempore (Luca Bernardini & Andrea Colletti, Ludus Magnus Studio, 2018)08:15 -Ultimate Railroads (Helmut Ohley & Leonhard "Lenny" Orgler, Hans im Glück, 2021)10:06 -The Siege of Runedar (Reiner Knizia, Ludonova, 2021)11:07 -Furnace (Ivan Lashin, Hobby World, 2021)15:3

"Planned obsolescence" is not just an economic term, it is a way of life for some companies. It is the practice of deliberately making a sold item frail or of limited use until it is unfashionable; this forces the consumer to replace it sooner than they would otherwise. Analysts tell us that it is best deployed by oligopolies to increase their sales volume. Completely unrelatedly, we talk about Games Workshop in the news.Games Played Last Week:01:26 -Mindbug (Skaff Elias, Richard Garfield, Marvin Hegen, & Christian Kudahl, Nerdlab Games, 2021)03:36 -Ticket to Ride: Germany (Alan R. Moon, Days of Wonder, 2017)06:18 -Chocolate Factory (Matthew Dunstan & Brett J. Gilbert, Alley Cat Games, 2019)08:22 -Cockroach Poker (Jacques Zeimet, Drei Magier Spiele, 2004)09:55 -My Farm Shop (Rüdiger Dorn, Pegasus Spiele, 2020)12:05 -Royal Visit (Reiner Knizia, IELLO, 2021)14:18 -Dunaïa (Thomas Dupont, BLAM !, 2021)15:42 -The Siege of Runedar (Reiner Knizia, Ludonova, 2021)20:10 -One Deck Dungeon: Abyssal Depth

This topic was suggested by Penn State law professor Jacob Schuman, although let us be perfectly clear that he does not necessarily endorse any of the views expressed. I mean, if Justices Breyer and/or Alito heard us impugn their oracular insights, no doubt we would be put on blast; much like those terrible journalists for having the sheer gall to posit that judges are, well, human and all. Perish the thought! We also apologize for suggesting that textualism does not ineffably guide one to the True and Correct Opinion, just like it did in Bostock, where textualist methods gave you at least three competing interpretations.01:05 AYURIS: Clinic Deluxe Edition (Alban Viard, AVStudioGames, 2019)Games Played Last Week:03:40 -Tinners' Trail (Martin Wallace, Alley Cat Games, 2021)07:09 -Merchants of Amsterdam (Reiner Knizia, Rio Grande Games, 2000) 10:59 -Merchants Cove (Jonny Pac, Carl Van Ostrand, & Drake Villareal, Final Frontier Games, 2021)13:26 -Ra (Reiner Knizia, alea, 1999)15:17 -Isle of Cats (Frank W