So Very Wrong About Games

Names are powerful. The Spiel des Jahres means "game of the year" simpliciter, but for years we know that the juries have been casting a narrower and narrower net of what games thay would consider. It has become more of a specialized imprint, which is fine--but it's strange that the name still inspires such cachet. Anything with rules in excess of 3 or so pages seems now to be firmly beyond the pale as far as the SdJ is concerned. Ah, well, times change, and we are prone to fits of curmudgeonly behavior. We do at least give our rundown of the 3 nominated games.AYURIS: The City of Kings 1m02s (Frank West, The City of Games, 2018)Games Played Last Week: -Trick Shot 2m35s (Nikita Krylov &Artyom Nichipurov, Wolff Designa, 2019)-LAMA aka Wrath of the Appliances: Rise of the Killer Kameras 4m50s (Reiner Knizia, AMIGO, 2019)-Just One 8m01s (Ludovic Roudy & Bruno Sautter, Repos Productions, 2018)-Red Alert: Space Fleet Warfare 10m03s (Richard Borg, PSC Games, 2019)-Fireball Island: The Curse of V

Credibility, like a butterfly, is a fragile and beautiful thing. Mark is fundamentally opposed to subtlety and ephemeral joy, so he naturally seeks to destroy either whenever he encounters it. When it comes to credibility he does this by routinely making gross over-generalizations. This time he has managed to make an instant replay-esque correction, at least. As for what he does to butterflies, let's just say he manages to make garden parties awkward.Games Played Last Week: -Bios: Megafauna 2nd Edition 3m08s (Andrew Doull, Phil Eklund, & Jon Manker, Sierra Madre, 2017)-Brook City 6m37s (Adam Sadler & Brady Sadler, Blacklist Games, 2019)-Rayguns and Rocketships 12m06s (Scott Rogers, IDW Games, 2017)-A Game of Thrones: Catan--Brotherhood of the Watch 15m45s (Klaus Teuber & Benjamin Teuber, Fantasy Flight, 2017)News (and why it doesn't matter)-Walker expands what he no longer has 22m00s-Wherefore art thou, journalism? Round 1: Tariffs vs. Gamers 22m31s(Polygon article: http://bit.ly/polygonta

Summer is here, friends and neighbours, and with it comes a a thickening of the blood that prompts torpor. We here at SVWAG are part lizard, you see, and so we must budget additional time to sun ourselves and slough off our scales. At any rate, we will be shifting to a summer schedule but still releasing an episode every week--though the magic of segment-swapping. How can such wizardry be true? The secrets are revealed herein!AYURIS: Mage Knight 2m10s (Vlaada Chvatil, WizKids, 2011)Games Played Last Week: -Imperius 5m36s (Grant Rodiek, Kolossal Games, 2018)-Bärenpark 7m18s (Phil Walker-Harding, Lookout, 2017)-Burning Suns 10m05s (Emil Larson, SunTzuGames, 2013)-Downfall 13m11s (John D. Clair, Tasty Minstrel, 2019)-Adrenaline: Team Play DLC 15m41s (Filip Neduk, Czech Games Edition, 2018)-Pandemic: Fall of Rome 17m39s (Matt Leacock & Paolo Mori, Z-Man, 2018)-Space Cadets: Dice Duel 19m25s (Geoff Engelstein and Sydney Engelstein, Stronghold, 2013)-Gentes: Deluxified Edition 21m14s (Stefan Risthaus, Tasty Min

We humble ourselves before you, O merciful audience, so as to lay bare our sins against the gaming world. Granted we toil as rules explainers on the behalf of ungrateful vermin who do not appreciate our labours, but nonetheless we take full responsibility for mildly inconveniencing the filthy ingrates who can't be bothered to read a rulebook. We implore that these monstrously selfish demons might find it in their paltry hearts and feeble minds to grant us a little mercy. We sincerely apologize to these subhuman monsters, we truly do.AYURIS: Feudum 3m20s (Mark K. Swanson, Odd Bird Games, 2017)Games Played Last Week: -The Boldest 4m38s (Sophia Wagner, Pegasus Spiele, 2019)-Wingspan 6m36s (Elizabeth Hargrave, Stonemaier Games, 2019)-Council of 4 9m00s (Simone Luciani & Daniele Tascini, Cranio Creations, 2015)-Root 11m42s (Cole Wehrle, Leder Games, 2018)-Imperius 12m20s (Grant Rodiek, Kolossal Games, 2018)-Siege of the Citadel 15m23s (Richard Borg, Eric M. Lang, Jason Little, & Kevin Wilson, Modiphius

"Money makes the world go 'round" is a common saying decried by most astronomers and physicists, who instead stubbornly maintain that it is due to some invisible thing that can't even qualify for a credit card. "More money than God" is also a strange phrasing, insofar as I believe the theological consensus (ranging from the Abrahamic faiths all the way to Pastafarianism) is that God does not hold assets in the standard sense. Then again, I've never seen His portfolio. Anyway, Cthulhu Wars is expensive and so are exciting plans.AYURIS: Quartermaster General 2m35s (Ian Brody, Griggling Games, 2014)Games Played Last Week: -Walker has a family 4m24s-Res Arcana 5m27s (Thomas Lehmann, Sand Castle Games, 2019)-The Boldest 7m19s (Sophia Wagner, Pegasus Spiele, 2019)-Snit's Revenge 10m51s (Tom Wham, TSR, 1977)-Hanabi 12m39s (Antoine Bauza, R&R, 2010)-FlickFleet 13m18s (Jackson Pope & Paul Willcox, Eurydice Games, 2018)-Magnastorm 15m42s (Bauldric & Friends, Feuerland Spiele,

We spare you the onomatopoeias this week, as our audio editing software cannot process the brightly-coloured spiky expostulations properly. Walker gets to backpedal at full speed this week, having previously declared his being done with both 1 vs. all games and games with tons of minis. So he surely wouldn't have any enthusiasm for this 1 vs. all minis-heavy game, would he? Could he?!Na na na na na na na naNa na na na na na na naPLASTICAYURIS: GKR: Heavy Hitters 1m25s (Matt Hyra, Cryptozoic Entertainment, 2018)Games Played Last Week: -Res Arcana 3m08s (Thomas Lehmann, Sand Castle Games, 2019)-Warhammer Quest: Blackstone Fortress 6m56s (Jervis Johnson, Games Workshop, 2018)-Warpgate 9m38s (Artyom Nichipurov, Wolff Designa, 2018)-Titans Tactics 12m37s (G. Kelly Toyama, Imbalanced Games, 2013)-Pax Renaissance 14m21s (Phil Eklund & Matt Eklund, Sierra Madre Games, 2016)-For Sale 18m34s (Stefan Dorra, Uberplay, 1997)News (and why it doesn't matter)-Mensa? Do we care about Mensa? 19m26s-Renegade charms

Here's the thing, at least as Mark understands it: acquired tastes are weird. Some things are great the first time. Furthermore, some things are easy and great the first time. Take chocolate, for example. Most people start out champs at eating chocolate. Mark tried to get good at something once, but he found out that requires effort. Who has time for ten thousand hours when there's elite-level candy consumption to be had? Walker on the other hand laments Mark's narrow little horizons. AYURIS: Space Alert 2m59s (Vlaada Chvatil, CGE, 2008)Games Played Last Week: -Warpgate 4m22s (Artyom Nichipurov, Wolff Designa, 2018)-Caverna: The Cave Farmers 6m38s (Uwe Rosenberg, Lookout Games, 2013)-Codenames 8m10s (Vlaada Chvatil, CGE, 2015)-KeyForge: Call of the Archons 9m29s (Richard Garfield, Fantasy Flight, 2018)-Intrigue 10m06s (Stefan Dorra, AMIGO, 1994)-Combat Commander: Europe 14m13s (Chad Jensen, GMT, 2006)-Aristeia! 16m39s (Alberto Abal, Jesús Fuster, & David Rosillo, Corvus Belli, 2017)-Pax Renais

Today is a telling day in the annals of SVWAG, especially with respect to Mark coming to terms with his own essential wrongness. He gets to partially repent for his tonal excesses with respect to the AYURIS; he gets to mull over painful loves lost in Billionaire Banshee; and he gets to realize that once again that while Walker cares deeply about people, he cares mostly about stuffing his face and listening to loud music. Things get real.AYURIS: Champions of Midgard 1m47s (Ole Steiness, Grey Fox Games, 2015)Games Played Last Week: -Die fiesen 7 4m03s (Jacques Zeimet, Drei Hasen in der Abendsonne, 2015)-Factory Funner 6m17s (Corné van Moorsel, Cwali, 2016)-Swordcrafters 7m15s (Ryan Lambert, Chris Neuman, & Adam Rehberg, Adam's Apple Games, 2018)-Formula D 8m48s (Laurent Lavaur & Eric Randall, Asmodee, 2008)-Billionaire Banshee 10m26s (Steven “Razlo” Bailey, Breaking Games, 2014)-Quadropolis 13m20s (François Gandon, Days of Wonder, 2016)-Vengeance 14m05s (Gordon Calleja, Mighty Boards, 2018)-Race for

HATE has landed, and you can't have it. CMON's dalliances with Kickstarter exclusives have been numerous, but now they have their first Kickstarter-exclusive game. We review it not to taunt you with things you can't acquire, but rather to give you the vicarious thrill of someone who can have everything. Let your imagination whisk you away to a universe that is all plastic cannibalistic hardcases! AYURIS: Battlelore 2nd Edition 2m14s (Richard Borg & Robert A. Kouba, FFG, 2013)Games Played Last Week: -Root 4m39s (Cole Wehrle, Leder Games, 2018)-Gùgōng 6m37s (Andreas Steding, Game Brewer, 2018)-Blood Rage 8m36s (Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2015)-Die fiesen 7 10m34s (Jacques Zeimet, Drei Hasen in der Abendsonne, 2015)-Calimala 11m33s (Fabio Lopiano, ADC Blackfire Entertainment GmbH, 2017)-Hansa Teutonica 13m11s (Andreas Steding, Argentum Verlag, 2010)-Amun-Re: The Card Game 13m54s (Reiner Knizia, Super Meeple, 2017)-Agricola 15m45s (Uwe Rosenberg, Lookout Games, 2007)-Hanabi 18m25s (Antoine Bauza, ABACUSS

As my father is wont to say, "Accept credit, pass blame." Actually, no, I said that, and it's my father's fault that I forgot the correct attribution. Is that how that works? At any rate, we here at SVWAG are always happy to claim responsibility for all positive developments. When and if peace breaks out anywhere, we will assert it is our doing based merely on this aside. Such is the power of our episode notes and our self-aggrandizement!AYURIS: The World of SMOG: Rise of Moloch 2m08s (Fel Barros, Christophe Madura, Alexandru Olteanu, David Rakoto, & Michael Shinall, CMON, 2018)Games Played Last Week: -Barony 4m51s (Marc André, Matagot, 2015)-Millennium Blades 5m37s (D. Brad Talton, Level 99 Games, 2016)-Santorini 7m32s (Gord!, Roxley, 2016)-Space Base 8m37s (John D. Clair, AEG, 2018)-Scythe 11m43s (Jamey Stegmaier, Stonemaier Games, 2016-Obsession 13m17s (Dan Hallagan, Kayenta Games, 2018)-Caverna: The Forgotten Folk 16m20s (Uwe Rosenberg & Alex Wilber, Lookout Games, 2018)-Claustroph

Currencies drive many things, perhaps most things. HATE is driven by a currency called Savagery, which I believe is floated on the international market and its exchange rate fluctuates daily. We here at So Very Wrong About Games fuel our episodes with Snark, which is pegged conveniently to the Canadian Dollar. As a consequence, when some of you might be tempted to correct Mark on the name of the 1987 Richard Halliwell design ("um, actually, it's Block Mania, not Block Panic"), you are only making them stronger.AYURIS: Warhammer Underworlds: Shadespire (David Sanders, Games Workshop, 2017) 1m54sGames Played Last Week: -HATE 4m34s (Raphaël Guiton, Jean-Baptiste Lullien, Alexandru Olteanu, & Nicolas Raoult, CMON, 2019)-Climb! 7m08s (Benoit Michaud, Le Scorpion Masqué, 2008)-Siege of the Citadel 9m32s (Richard Borg, Eric M. Lang, Jason Little, & Kevin Wilson, Modiphius Entertainment, 2019)-Goodcritters 11m45s (Fabian Zimmermann, Arcane Wonders, 2018)-Teotihuacan: City of Gods 14m43s (Daniele T

You do you, Walker always says, except he almost never does. Mark always says smoke 'em if you got 'em, despite his never uttering those words and frankly not knowing what they mean. He tried smoking once and didn't enjoy it. Why care about such petty things as truth or data when it feels consistent with a narrative you're peddling? Echoes of contemporary politics abound, as we ponder whether a game needs to be balanced so long as it tells a good tale.AYURIS: Rising Sun (Eric Lang, CMON, 2018) 5m26sGames Played Last Week: -Cerebria: The Inside World 8m57s (Richard Amann, Viktor Peter, István Pócsi, Frigyes Schőberl, Nick Shaw, & Dávid Turczi, Mindclash Games, 2018)-Teotihuacan: City of Gods 11m22s (Daniele Tascini, NSKN Games, 2018)-Spirit Island 12m10s (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2017)-Tajemnicze Domostwo/Mysterium 15m24s (Oleksandr Nevskiy & Oleg Sidorenko, Portal Games, 2013)-Millennium Blades 19m11s (D. Brad Talton Jr., Level 99 Games, 2016)-Shadowrift 21m11s (Jeremy Anders

The Peter Principle observes that people tend to get promoted to their level of incompetence. Namely if someone does a job well, they'll be promoted, until such time as they cease doing a job well and persist at that level of ineptitude. We mention this not because it accurately describes the arc of Mark's life both professionally and personally--which, let's face it, it does--but rather because we have decided to promote the AYURIS from off-hand remark into Full Fledged Segment (AYURIS, FFS [tm]). Time stamp and everything! If it does well, it'll get it's own podcast; if it does poorly, all hail the Peter Principle.AYURIS: 51st State: Master Set (Ignacy Trzewiczek, Portal, 2016) 1m31sGames Played Last Week: -Kingdom Death: Monster 5m28s (Adam Poots, Kingdom Death, 2015)-Reykholt 9m02s (Uwe Rosenberg, Frosted Games, 2018)-Bargain Hunter 15m35s (Uwe Rosenberg, Valley Games, 1998)-Meltwater: A Game of Tactical Starvation 17m34s (Erin Lee Escobedo, Hollandspiele, 2018)News (and why it doesn&#

Sometimes categories are useful taxonomical tools, and sometimes they are so blunt as to be confusing and unhelpful. What gets parsed as "worker placement" can get downright murky at times. To Walker, though, the world is clear and simple. Tolstoy tells us that "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Walker has a modified view--all fun games are fun and thus good and interchangeable, and all unfun games are bad and thus the same. It's a good thing he's not a critic or anything.Games Played Last Week: -Welcome to... 3m47s (Benoit Turpin, Blue Cocker Games, 2018)-A Feast for Odin: The Norwegians 6m19s (Gernot Köpke & Uwe Rosenberg, Feuerland Spiele, 2018)-Architects of the West Kingdom 9m55s (Shem Phillips & S. J. Macdonald, Garphill Games, 2018)-Byzantium 16m06s (Martin Wallace, Warfrog, 2005)News (and why it doesn't matter)-Sushi Go Rolls on 20m13s-New Quest for El Dorado? Expansion? Hybrid? 21m21s-Scotland Yard: Now with dice, uncerta

Just as we are told that it's always five o'clock somewhere, we can be assured that Mark and Walker are always wrong somewhere. Time marches inexorably forward, and we mark that passage of time by checking in with the much-loved Quartermaster General series. Mark would happily tell you that time is nothing more and nothing less than a priori intuition, which when internalized allows us to ground the science of mathematics--and then Walker would rightfully point out that it's time for Mark to shut up.Games Played Last Week: -Menara 3m01s (Oliver Richtberg, Zoch Spiele, 2018)-Massive Darkness 5m18s (Raphaël Guiton, Jean-Baptiste Lullien & Nicolas Raoult, CMON, 2017)-Sentinels of the Multiverse 8m13s (Christopher Badell, Paul Bender, & Adam Rebottaro, Greater than Games, 2011)-Millennium Blades 10m20s (D. Brad Talton, Jr., Level 99 Games, 2016)-Kitchen Rush 12m17s (Vangelis Bagiartakis & Dávid Turczi, Artipia, 2017)News (and why it doesn't matter)-Quartermaster General (WWII) re-(quar

Sometimes our hosts can't quite understand what the situation demands of them. Walker has been known to approach thoughtful, deliberative games with the oft-repeated demand of "when do I get to shoot LEMME SHOOT." Mark tends to greet new acquaintances with profanity-laden assaults on their life choices, hygiene, and character. These traits perhaps serve to explain how they find themselves in the social circles that they do.Games Played Last Week: -The Quacks of Quedlingburg 2m37s (Wolfgang Warsch, North Star Games, 2018)-Brass: Birmingham 5m18s (Gavan Brown, Matt Tolman, & Martin Wallace, Roxley, 2018)-In the Shadow of the Emperor 8m29s (Ralf Burkert, Rio Grande Games, 2004)-Kemet: Seth 11m09s (Jacques Bariot & Guillaume Montiage, Matagot, 2018)-Gaslands 15m39s (Glenn Ford & Mike Hutchinson, Osprey Publishing, 2017)News (and why it doesn't matter)-Portal 2019: Roll & write, Neuroshima Hex! 16m58s-Restoring Conspiracy 17m50s-Build with ice (the Canadian currency) in Tuki 19m19s-

We take endorsements very seriously here at SVWAG. The Ferragamo deal fell through after Walker was seen wearing Fendi, and the whole Burberry fiasco is better left forgotten. Converse was our backup, but suffice to say after Mark's public comments about sportsball that seems like a distant possibility at best.All that said, we endorse Gloomy Companion unreservedly. We don't resort to apps very often, but we don't Gloomhaven without Gloomy Companion employed on a tablet. We've tried others but it suits us the best.Games Played Last Week: -Mombasa 3m14s (Alexander Pfister, eggertspiele, 2015)-Decrypto 5m28s (Thomas Dagenais-Lespérance, Le Scorpion Masqué, 2018)-Han 6m57s(Michael Schacht, ABACUSSPIELE, 2014)-Sakura Arms 7m55s (BakaFire, AEG, 2016)-Kitchen Rush 10m08s (Vangelis Bagiartakis & Dávid Turczi, Artipia, 2017)-Chinatown 10m36s (Karsten Hartwig, Z-Man, 1999)-Eclipse 13m14s (Touko Tahkokallio, Lautapelit.fi, 2011)News (and why it doesn't matter)-Frontier Wars 15m34s-Rio Grande is

Constant vigilance is the price of audio quality, and we apologize for how badly that struggle has been going of late. Walker prostrates himself before the altar of Bars, and Bars we achieve, but the nature of those Bars have been fickle. Their shape and pattern cannot be properly contained or channeled, and thus they spurn us and assault your ears. Rest assured that we are consulting the augurs and they are poring over the entrails of many a cassette tape in order to discern how we may appease the Bars. But yeah, it's totally Mark's fault.We have a Patreon, if you're inclined to support us.Games Played Last Week: -XCOM: The Boardgame--Evolution 1m51s (Samuel Bailey & Mark Larson, Fantasy Flight, 2016)-Quest for El Dorado: Heroes and Hexes 2m56s (Reiner Knizia, Ravensburger, 2018)-Kitchen Rush 5m59s (Vangelis Bagiartakis & Dávid Turczi, Artipia, 2017)-Codenames 6m59s (Vlaada Chvatil, CGE, 2015)-Wildlands 9m18s (Martin Wallace, Osprey, 2018)-Scythe: The Rise of Fenris 14m44s (Ryan Lopez DeV

Peer influence is a strange thing. For years Mark has been yelling at Walker about various ways he really ought to change, but a single board game now has Walker spewing Macross lore like he's a convert. Perhaps the authors like Erin Lee Escobedo have a point, and board games really can serve to deliver subtle yet powerful influence. Perhaps we could make board games to convince people to like and dislike the right board games...Games Played Last Week: -Telestrations 3m40s (Uncredited, USAopoly, 2009)-Diamonds 4m52s (Mike Fitzgerald, Stronghold, 2014)-Meltwater: A Game of Tactical Starvation 8m30s (Erin Lee Escobedo, Hollandspiele, 2018)-Tokyo Highway 14m07s (Naotaka Shimamoto & Yoshiaki Tomioka, itten, 2016)-Robotech: Attack on the SDF-1 15m51s (Darius Hambleton & Jeff Mechlinski, Strange Machine Games, 2018)-Great Western Trail: Rails to the North 20m04s (Alexander Pfister, Stronghold, 2018)-Shards of Infinity: Relics of the Future 24m17s (Gary Arant & Justin Gary, Stone Blade Entertainment,

Another round about the sun is complete, at least for those who acknowledge that sort of thing. I'm certain there must be a strand of Flat Eartherism that bows to the reality of the Earth's orbit--I could find out, but boardgaming already more than satisfies my desire for obscure minutia. We look back at the releases of the year, agreeing on many things but rather sharply disagreeing on others. There will be lists! And categories! Oh, the pageantry! Games Played Last Week: -Space Hulk: Second Edition 1m30s (Dean Bass, Andy Chambers, Chris Colston, Richard Halliwell, Jervis Johnson, Andy Jones, & Paul Murphy, Games Workshop, 1996)-Senji 2m58s (Bruno Cathala & Serge Laget, Asmodee, 2008)-Terraforming Mars 6m19s (Jacob Fryxelius, Stronghold, 2016)-Dinosaur Island 6m58s (Jonathan Gilmour & Brian Lewis, Pandasaurus, 2017)-Cryptid 12m14s (Hal Duncan & Ruth Veevers, Osprey Games, 2018)-Mega Civilization 13m26s (Flo de Haan, John Rodriguez, & Francis Tresham, Pegasus, 2015)-Welcome To... 2