So Very Wrong About Games

SHUX has passed, but the memories have not. Your hosts give a final rundown of some of the goings-on during the august October event.Mark asserts that no one is less competitive than he, no one by a long shot, he is much less competitive than you and if you disagree he will fight you. Unless you are a child or infirm, in which case he will still fight you out of a grudging sense of duty and respect, but he will pull his punches. Some of them. Editorial note: the hosts neglected to repeat that Air, Land & Sea was a review copy received from the author. They apologize for the oversight.Added SHUX dig: The Quacks of Quedlinburg 2m18s (Wolfgang Warsch, Scmidt Spiele, 2018)AYURIS: Yellow & Yangtze 5m38s (Reiner Knizia, Grail Games, 2018) and Tigris & Euphrates (Reiner Knizia, Hans im Gluck, 1997)Games Played Last Week: -Durance 8m05s (Jason Morningstar, Bully Pulpit Games, 2012)-Aftermath 10m33s (Jerry Hawthorne, Plaid Hat Games, 2019)-Mysthea 13m09s (Martino Chiacchiera & Marta Ciaccasassi, Tabul

"You two are idiots."-QuinnsWe are live (on tape)! With special guest Quintin Smith aka Quinns from Shut Up & Sit Down. Also featuring guest appearances from French Canadian snack cakes, passive aggression, wonderful prizes (none for you, sorry, all gone), and the man who saved your life, Vasili Arkhipov! Also some feedback and noise from the megagame next door. Oh, well.Games Played Last Week: -Irish Gauge 8m34s (Tom Russell, Capstone Games, 2014)-Mandala 10m39s (Trevor Benjamin & Brett J. Gilbert, Lookout Games, 2019)-Warband: Against the Darkness 15m20s (Micah Fuller, Dyskami Publishing Company, 2015)-Ragusa 18m29s (Fabio Lopiano, Capstone Games, 2019)-Flash Duel 22m43s (David Sirlin, Sirlin Games, 2010)-Cowboy Bebop: Boardgame Boogie 27m17s (Josh Derksen, Thomas M. Gofton, & Aron Murch, Jasco Games, 2019)-Glory to Rome 29m37s (Carl Chudyk, Cambridge Games Factory, 2005)-Labyrinthos 31m07s (Lindsey Rose, Dog Might Games, 2020)-Quacks of Quedlinburg 36m03s (Wolfgang Warsch, Schmidt Spiel

The saturation point is the point at which you can no longer dissolve a deck of cards into a bottle of water. I am told that in summer, it feels hotter than it is really is because of all the board game particles diffused throughout the air. It gets really hard to breathe sometimes--my cousin nearly choked on a cube, once. The dewpoint, I think, is the temperature at which a full copy of Catan will coalesce out of nowhere. Join us for our podcast about science.AYURIS: Thunderstone Quest 2m22s (Mike Elliott, Bryan Reese, & Mark Wootton, AEG, 2018)Games Played Last Week: -Teotihuacan: Late Preclassic Period 4m06s (Rainer Ahlfors, Andrei Novac, & Daniele Tascini, Board2Dice, 2019)-Tigris & Euphrates 6m07s (Reiner Knizia, Hans im Gluck, 1997)-Cockroach Poker 8m36s (Jacques Zeimet, Drei Magier Spiele, 2004)-Sidereal Confluence 10m22s (TauCeti Deichmann, Wizkids, 2017)-Slide Quest 12m27s (Nicolas Bourgoin & Jean-François Rochas, Blue Orange, 2019)-Obscurio 13m24s (L'Atelier, Libellud, 2019)-Ment

The cube trundles onward, marching inexorably--if haltingly--towards its ultimate destination. It is told it must explore, and so explore it does. The other cube conquers, but that is not this cube's concern. They met once at a party. It seemed nice, but that was long ago, and the cube must explore, not mingle. Sometimes it does not explore; sometimes it scores for some quantity of non-explore things. These things it does not understand, but it knows that points are good, and so it does those things. The explore cube also cares about farms, for some reason, and mushrooms. Near the end of its track, it pauses--not for lack of mushrooms, this time, but out of an uncharacteristic self-doubt. Why does it do these things, it wonders. What mad god intersperses these random tasks so? And down from Olympus comes the pronouncement of the cube's controller--perhaps that very mad god, or perhaps merely a lesser divinity in thrall of some yet more powerful, some yet more capricious deity--"BECAUSE THEME."

Mark thinks it is colossally unfair that he gets so much flak for speaking French when mediocre game designers get to throw around a word like "tableau." Then again, Mark and Walker can't quite agree on what a tableau constitutes. Mark seems to define it the way that American judge famously defined pornography--he knows it when he sees it--whereas Walker is more conspiratorial about tableaus (Tableaux? Tableausies?), seeing them everywhere and lurking behind every player board or suite of special powers. Nothing seems to inspire disagreement among geeks like a taxonomy. AYURIS: Street Masters 2m17s (Adam Sadler & Brady Sadler, Blacklist Games, 2018)Games Played Last Week: -Attribute 5m27s (Marcel-Andre Casasola Merkle, Z-Man Games, 2002)-Pax Pamir: Second Edition 7m33s (Cole Wehrle, Wehrlegig Games, 2019)-Air, Land & Sea 9m57s (Jon Perry, Arcane Wonders, 2018)-Shadows of Malice: Revised 2nd Printing 13m27s (Jim Felli, Devious Weasel Games, 2019)-Undaunted: Normandy 17m10s (Trevor Benjamin

Adorable little pudgy robots soar through a blazing pink sky, stubby arms outstretched as they speed towards their destination--a yellow planet in the distance. "GIVE ME YOAR COOOBS" bellow the aliens upon arrival. "POINTZ 4 COOOOBS." A robot obliges, and a sonorous "cha-ching" resounds through its programming. But the robot is now a drifting derelict, its home ship long gone. It is now doomed to tumble through inky pinkness until its energy reserves burn to nothing. It begins to wonder, "Why have I done this? What is my purpose? What is this all for?" And the cosmos replies with a whisper, "It is for 1-4 players."Games Played Last Week: -Hellboy: The Board Game 2m03s (James M. Hewitt & Sophie Williams, Mantic Games, 2019)-Mech Command: RTS 4m37s (Chris Gabrielson, Bad Crow Games, 2018)-Modern Art 8m06s (Reiner Knizia, CMON, 2017)-XenoShyft: Dreadmire 10m21s (Michael Shinall, CMON, 2017)-Among Thieves 12m32s (Floyd Pretz, Indie Boards & Cards, 2019)-Barenpark 15

We return to games of weeks past, for the most part, to see if our initial impressions persist. We were young and foolish in past weeks, of course, whereas now we are older and foolish. Whether our errors mature like fine wine or spoil to the vinegar of harsh insight is up to you. One thing is certain, though--our metaphors certainly aren't getting any sweeter.AYURIS: SEAL Team Flix 2m09s (Pete Ruth & Mark Thomas, WizKids, 2018)Games Played Last Week: -Kobayakawa 5m46s (Jun Sasaki, IELLO, 2013)-Black Angel 7m25s (Sébastien Dujardin, Xavier Georges, & Alain Orban, Pearl Games, 2019)-Human Punishment: Social Deduction 2.0 9m05s (Stefan Godot, Godot Games, 2018)-Teotihuacan: Late Preclassic Period 12m40s (Rainer Ahlfors, Andrei Novac, & Daniele Tascini, Board&Dice, 2019)-Import/Export 17m52s (Jordan Draper, Dark Flight, 2017)-Rangers of Shadow Deep 21m37s (Joseph McCullough, Self-published, 2018)-Horizon Wars 23m13s (Robey Jenkins, Osprey Publishing, 2016)News (and why it doesn't matter):

The Card Crafting System returns once more, its heaps of mylar inserting into our gaming life. I would say it darkens our door, but the things are mostly transparent, so the idiom doesn't quite fit. One wonders whether and how one could sleeve a Card Crafting game, given that the games largely consist of sleeves already--but once one has witnessed the recursive horror that is sleeve sleeves, you cannot doubt the persistence and ingenuity of the Cult of Sleeves. They will, like life, find a way--perhaps sleeving each insert before inserting them into an ur-sleeve that will smother us all. The horror.Games Played Last Week: -Tiny Epic Mechs 1m32s (Scott Almes, Gamelyn Games, 2019)-Yokohama 2m45s (Hisashi Hayashi, Tasty Minstrel Games, 2016)-Risk: Mass Effect Galaxy at War Edition 7m43s (Andrew Wolf, The OP, 2013)-Pulsar 2849 10m37s (Vladimír Suchý, CGE, 2017)-Antidote 13m06s (Dennis Hoyle, Bellwether Games, 2013)-Human Punishment: Social Deduction 2.0 14m33s (Stefan Godot, Godot Games, 2018)-Villagers 18m21

There are happy stories. Stories of social serendipity, where you like them and they like you, and all opinions are as one and there is harmony. Where no awkward conversations need be had and no unfortunate lines drawn. Where no one is annoyed, and no one is harassed, and no one must bury their preferences so as to placate another. These are not these stories.AYURIS: Food Chain Magnate 1m37s (Jeroen Doumen & Joris Wiersinga, Splotter Spellen, 2015)Games Played Last Week: -Gugong 3m50s (Andreas Steding, Game Brewer, 2018)-Infinity 4m37s (Gutier Lusquiños Rodríguez, Corvus Belli, 2005)-Slide Quest 7m34s (Nicolas Bourgoin & Jean-François Rochas, Blue Orange, 2019)-Rhino Hero Super Battle 11m41s (Scott Frisco & Steven Strumpf, HABA, 2017)-Tiny Epic Mechs 13m40s (Scott Almes, Gamelyn Games, 2019)-Horizon Wars 16m50s (Robey Jenkins, Osprey Publishing, 2016)-Calimala 20m39s (Fabio Lopiano, ADC Blackfire Entertainment GmbH, 2017)News (and why it doesn't matter):-Hansa Teutonica Big Box! 21m52s-After t

So. Many. Games. Even after careful curation and surgical editing, Mark and Walker talk about thirteen different games they played last week, not even counting the feature game. It was truly a good week. New games! Old games! Co-ops, minis, dexterity, wargames! Come join us at the cornucopia of amusement that is this week's SVWAG.Games Played Last Week: -Beasts of Balance 1m29s (George Buckenham & Alex Fleetwood, Sensible Object, 2016)-Teotihuacan: City of Gods 3m32s (Daniele Tascini, NSKN Games, 2018)-Obsession 4m19s (Dan Halladay, Kayenta Games, 2018)-Star Trek: Conflick in the Neutral Zone 6m31s (Mike Elliott, WizKids, 2019)-Pandemic: Fall of Rome 11m10s (Matt Leacock & Paolo Mori, Z-Man, 2018)-Pandemic: Rapid Response 12m25s (Kane Klenko, Z-Man Games, 2019)-Concordia 16m18s (Mac Gerdts, PD-Verlag, 2013)-Pulsar 2849 19m26s (Vladimír Suchý, CGE, 2017)-Lords of Hellas: Dark Ages Expansion 25m01s (Adam Kwapiński, Awaken Realms, 2019)-Just One 28m06s (Ludovic Roudy & Bruno Sautter, Repos Produc

What is gaming other than an outlet for vicarious experiences and thrills? To enjoy the simulacrum of killing, adventure, high finance, and impressing feudal lords? We can thus assert with great sincerity that ours shall be the very best GenCon coverage, in that we didn't go. Why trust the easily-misled first hand accounts? We know from both philosophy and science that sense data deceives. You can put your faith in our reflections, completely unbiased by any experience.AYURIS: Kemet 1m15s (Jacques Bariot & Guillaume Montiage, Matagot, 2012)Games Played Last Week: -Kemet 3m57s (Jacques Bariot & Guillaume Montiage, Matagot, 2012)-Tower of Babel 5m41s (Reiner Knizia, Hans im Gluck, 2005)-Q.E. 10m09s (Gavin Birnbaum, Boardgametables.com, 2019)-The Ares Project 11m53s (Brian Engelstein & Geoff Engelstein, Z-Man, 2011)-Mech Command RTS 14m28s (Chris Gabrielson, Bad Crow Games, 2018)-Import/Export 20m14s (Jordan Draper, Dark Flight Games, 2017)News (and why it doesn't matter):-How many Cyperpunks

Failure can be a fortuitous thing, which is very good for Mark, as he is well accustomed to failure. While this week's review of Pax Renaissance is certainly not on the scale of, say, penicillin, it did give him the opportunity to play one of his top 20 games more. As to whether Walker profited or suffered from this development is a deep and abiding mystery solvable only by listening to this week's episode.Games Played Last Week: -Gaslands 2m29s (Glenn Ford & Mike Hutchinson, Osprey Publishing, 2017)-Space Hulk 3rd edition 4m56s (Richard Halliwell, Games Workshop, 2009)-Horizon Wars 7m37s (Robey Jenkins, Osprey Publishing, 2016)-Time of Crisis 10m30s(Wray Ferrell & Brad Johnson, GMT, 2017)-Q.E. 12m30s (Gavin Birnbaum, Boardgametables.com, 2019)-Lords of Hellas: Dark Ages Expansion 15m12s (Adam Kwapinski, Awaken Realms, 2019)-Getaway Driver 16m12s (Jeff Beck, Uproarious Games, 2019)News (and why it doesn't matter):-Goodbye to Richard Berg 18m17s-Spyfall through time 19m35s-The unfolding Gol

We can pretend that our adult pastimes are more sophisticated and evolved from the trivialities of mere children, but really, let's admit it--it's all the same. We can't claim any degree of superiority when compared to the antics of ankle-biters. Let's be mature about it and lean into the juvenalia, shall we? My doll is better than your doll. My doll has the Plasmanator Meltotron. You can't hit my doll, it has an invisible everything shield! AYURIS: Keyflower 1m58s (Sebastian Bleasdale & Richard Breese, R&D Games, 2012)Games Played Last Week: -Pax Renaissance 4m25s (Phil Eklund & Matt Eklund, Sierra Madre Games, 2016)-Root 4m27s (Cole Wehrle, Leder Games, 2018)-Neuroshima Hex! 3.0 6m46s (Michal Oracz, Portal Games, 2006)-Modern Art 8m30s (Reiner Knizia, CMON, 2017)-Quadropolis 12m30s (Francois Gandon, Days of Wonder, 2016)-Lords of Hellas: Lord of the Sun 14m03s (Adam Kwapinski, Awaken Realms, 2019)-Men at Work 17m53s (Rita Modl, Pretzel Games, 2019)-Rhino Hero Giant Edition 18

"May you get everything you want" is nothing short of a curse, I think, and so this week we curse you with your own desires. You wanted us to play Middara, so we did. You wanted more information about Sol: Last Days of a Star, so we oblige. As you weep, surrounded by the wreckage wrought by your own wishes, don't come to us for solace, for we are but the accomplices of your own self-destruction. Also, if that weren't terrifying enough, intergalactic scorpions! Games Played Last Week: -Men at Work 1m43s (Rita Modl, Pretzel Games, 2019)-Middara: Unintentional Malum Act 1 5m48s (Clayton Helme, Brooklynn Lundberg, Brennon Moncur, & Ian Tate, SUccubus Publishing, 2019)-Dinosaur Island 12m44s (Jonathan Gilmour & Brian Lewis, Pandasaurus Games, 2017)-Planet 14m11s (Urtis Šulinskas, Blue Orange, 2018)-Rangers of Shadow Deep 17m38s (Joseph McCullough, Self-published, 2018)-Pax Renaissance 19m39s (Phil Eklund & Matt Eklund, Sierra Madre Games, 2016)-Tsukuyumi: Full Moon Dawn 20m16s (Felix Me

Since tableau-building today is very much what auctions were twenty years ago, we take a look at both in this week's episode. The Pax games continue ever onward, even as most of our favourite auction game were published 10+ years ago. Mark resists the urge to go off on a tangent about the Trolley Problem, which allows Walker to resist the urge to send Mark's teeth off on a tangent from his mouth. Compromise.AYURIS: 1m32s Hyperborea (Andrea Chiarvesio & Pierluca Zizzi, Asterion Press, 2014)Orleans (Reiner Stockhausen, dlp Games, 2014)Altiplano (Reiner Stockhausen, dlp Games, 2017)Games Played Last Week: -Thunderstone Quest: Barricades Mode 4m14s (Mike Elliott, Bryan Reese, & Mark Wootton, AEG, 2019)-Pax Pamir (Second Edition) 9m01s (Cole Wehrle, Wehrelegig Games, 2019)-Sol: Last Days of a Star 17m16s (Ryan Spangler & Sean Spangler, Elephant Laboratories, 2017)-Skip-Bo 21m36s (Hazel "Skip" Bowman, Mattel, 1967)-LAMA (aka Wrath of the Appliances: Rise of the Killer Kameras) 23m10s (R

I swear, one dude gets his arm cut off in a cantina and we're still harping on about it forty years later. Have a sense of proportion! I got beat up in high school twenty years ago, but you don't hear me whining. That dude should have done what I did--rounded up a posse and threatened retaliation if any assault persisted. He could have rallied those pushed around by laser sword-wielding hermits and made the galaxy safe for... hold on, I think I just started writing fanfic. Games Played Last Week: -Antike II 1m33s (Mac Gerdts, PD-Verlag, 2015)-Council of 4 3m42s (Simone Luciani & Daniele Tascini, CMON, 2015)-Deception: Murder in Hong Kong 6m18s (Tobey Ho, Grey Fox Games, 2014)-Gaslands: Refuelled 8m06s (Mike Hutchinson, Osprey Publishing, 2019)-Rangers of Shadow Deep 10m04s (Joseph McCullough, Self-published, 2019)-Beasts of Balance 12m51s (George Buckenham & Alex Fleetwood, Sensible Object, 2016)News (and why it doesn't matter):-Die Macher Die Hards Disappointed 14m24s-Flotilla invents the

Knowing when to give up is a valuable skill. As children we are told to stick with painful and unpleasant things, and while that is often wise, sometimes it just results in more pain. Discerning the difference between choking down one's vegetables--good!--and pursuing a hobby merely for the sake of it--bad!--is a tricky bit of prudence that many adults can't quite seem to get. The notion of an "acquired taste" is somewhat related. Eating chocolate is something you can nail the first time and every time, so acquiring a taste for expensive Scotch whisky that tastes of dirt seems a little off. But sometimes... sometimes! You should try that thing again.AYURIS: Crisis at Steamfall 4m16s (Tom Stasiak, Beautiful Disaster Games, 2019)Games Played Last Week: -Just One 6m04s (Ludovic Roudy & Bruno Sautter, Repos Productions)-Isle of Skye: From Chieftain to King 9m06s (Andreas Pelikan & Alexander Pfister, Lookout Games, 2015)-Up Front 10m49s (Courtney F. Allen, Avalon Hill, 1983)-Sol: Last Days

This is not, strictly speaking, the first foray into gaming that Hellboy has done--not even the first in the miniatures genre. There were some Hellboy Heroclix, but let us speak as adults--that's not really saying much. Everyone has been in Heroclix now. 43% of the human population has been represented as a Heroclix figure at some point. Walker has, like, four different versions (albeit two of those are repaints). I hear the "Raging Fury" Walker figure is banned in most tournament play.Games Played Last Week: -Just One 1m59s (Ludovic Roudy & Bruno Sautter, Repos Productions)-Lords of Hellas 4m57s (Awam Kwapinski, Awaken Realms, 2018)-Tammany Hall 7m39s (Doug Eckhart, IDW Games, 2007)Editorial note: Mark erred in his playing of Tammany Hall (unused favour chips are not worth points). We'll have a full correction next week, and Mark will revisit the game as soon as he can. We apologize for the error.-Small City 14m37s (Alban Viard, AVStudioGames, 2015)News (and why it doesn't matter):-Fr

Heroscape! This show has spent far, far too long talking about things that are not Heroscape. Today we attempt to remedy that deficiency by talking about Heroscape, which is a game--nay, an experience--nay, a lifestyle!--worth discussing. It was a wonderful retail oddity, an overproduced and affordable big box beauty. It is why basements were invented. It isn't the greatest game, but it is definitely Heroscape.AYURIS: Lords of Hellas 1m54s (Awam Kwapinski, Awaken Realms, 2018)Games Played Last Week: -Junk Art 6m31s (Jay Cormier & Sen-Foong Lim, Pretzel Games, 2016)-Claustrophobia 1643 9m02s (Croc & Laurent Pouchain, Monolith, 2019)-Pax Renaissance 12m34s (Matt Eklund & Phil Eklund, Sierra Madre, 2016)-Heroscape 13m32s (Stephen Baker, Rob Daviau, & Craig Van Ness, Hasbro, 2004)-Scythe 16m37s (Jamey Stegmaier, Stonemaier Games, 2016)-Newton 18m20s (Simone Luciani & Nestore Mangone, Cranio Creations, 2018)News (and why it doesn't matter):-Earth Reborn Reborn? 20m44shttps://www.boardga

Do you sometimes feel like having your blind brother hurl spears at you as a party trick? Do you feel the urge to put your hand in a giant wolf's mouth to make your friends feel bad? Do you wish you could ride a chariot pulled by cats for no discernible reason? Do you long to carry on rambling conversations with a severed head? Do you want days of the week to be named after you?Well, this is your episode!Games Played Last Week: -Just One 1m26s (Ludovic Roudy & Bruno Sautter, Repos Productions, 2018)-Lords of Hellas 3m12s (Adam Kwapiński, Awaken Realms, 2018)-Combat Commander: Europe 5m26s(Chad Jensen, GMT, 2006)-Barenpark 7m56s (Phil Walker-Harding, Lookout Games, 2017)-Corporate America 8m31s (Teale Fristoe, Nothing Sacred Games, 2013)-Reykholt 10m09s (Uwe Rosenberg, Frosted Games, 2018)-Burning Suns 11m05s (Emil Larson, SunTzu Games, 2013)-51st State: Master Set - Allies 13m32s (Joanna Kijanka & Ignacy Trzewiczek, Portal Games, 2019)-Tammany Hall 16m12s (Doug Eckhart, IDW Games, 2007)News (and w