Eft/tapping Q & A Podcast W/ Gene Monterastelli - Emotional Freedom Techniques

The phrase "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is often taught to us as children. As adults, we know this isn't true. It would be great if what other people said about us didn't have the power to hurt us, but we are doing ourselves a disservice by pretending it doesn't. Here is a simple 3-step process to tease out the reason why certain words hurt more than others and help you to identify the source of the hurt. Is it the words themselves, who is saying them, or who is hearing the words when they are spoken? All three of those possibilities can add to the feeling of hurt. When you are able to recognize the different components causing the hurt, it will be much easier to tap to gain relief. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Before doing this I didn't understand the difference between compassion fatigue and burnout. I thought compassion fatigue was just a specific type of burnout experienced by helpers and healers. In reality, compassion fatigue is not only different, but can be much more serious than burnout. To understand compassion fatigue more I interviewed licensed mental health professional Robin Bilazarian. Robin has experience of working with countless clients who are in danger of being traumatized by working with people who are in trouble. In this podcast Robin and I talk about: The difference between compassion fatigue and burnout The signs of compassion fatigue Why at this moment in history we are more susceptible to it How to prevent and how to heal compassion fatigue At one point in the conversation we discuss how a forgiveness practice can be helpful in combating compassion fatigue. You can find that resource here. Even if you are not a professional helper, if you are a person who helps others in your personal li

Do you sometimes hold yourself back from making choices because of concern about how they may impact those around you? It is good to be thoughtful about how your actions affect others, but we can't allow this to dictate our choices. If we put everyone else's needs first, we will never be able to take care of ourselves, and chances are that nobody else will do that for us. This tapping is a simple guide to help us to be thoughtful about how our choices impact others, but without allowing that thought to control how we make choices and move through our lives. You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Note: This podcast is a part of the Healing Fundamentals series. The topics covered in this series move beyond the basics of tapping to understanding the healing process. By understanding these fundamentals you will be able to get more out of your tapping faster. Make sure you check out the whole series. Wanting to fit in and belong is a basic human desire, not a failure. It's natural to want others to like and accept us and to appreciate the work that we do. Because of this fundamental desire to belong, part of us is always on the lookout for slights and judgments, which we may imagine even when they're not there. That makes us prone to mistaking someone's evaluation that something we're offering is not a good fit for them for a negative judgment of us or our worth. This week's podcast examines: The difference between evaluation and judgment How we can mistake one for the other Why we respond so emotionally to judgment How to tap for a better understanding of evaluation vs. judgment You can find the full t

In May 2014 I was lucky enough to be invited to join the group Empowering The Philippines in teaching EFT Tapping to the residents of Tacloban City and the surrounding areas. Six months earlier the region had been ravaged by Super Typhoon Haiyan (called Yolanda in the Philippines), displacing four million people and leaving one million homes damaged or destroyed. Our days in the Philippines were split between teaching local people how to use tapping to deal with their experience of the typhoon, and teaching teachers, doctors, and mental health professionals how to use tapping in their work. After the experience my friend Helen McConnell (bio below) interviewed me about the work we did, my experience, and what we can all learn from this type of work. I also wrote a daily diary with my personal reflections while in the Philippines, which you can read on on my personal blog. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora About Helen McConnell: Helen McConnell is a

I often hear my clients say "I should have known better" OR "I know better, but for some reason I keep making the same choice" when they are judging their actions. Just knowing what the right choice is doesn't mean we will make it, because information alone is not enough. Most of the reasons we don't make the right choice or take the right action, even though we know intellectually what we want to do, have to do with our emotional state. In almost every case, emotions will win out over reason. This week's podcast explores: Why our emotions win How dealing with regret for poor choices in the past is key to making better choices in future How to use EFT Tapping to make better choices more often Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

In response to everything that is going on the world my friends Jennifer Carey and Dayna Wood have been doing a video show three times a week called "Connected and Conscious". On the show they ask their friends and colleagues how they are staying healthy, focused, and happy during this time of great upheaval and uncertainty. In addition to talking about how the guests are taking care of themselves, they also offer a gift in every episode in the shape of a tool that the audience can use right away. As they say when talking about the focus of the show, "We all have something to offer!" I was lucky enough to be a guest on the show on May 13th. Dayna and Jennifer have graciously allowed me to share the audio here. You can check out the full video series on Integrative Counsel. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora Dayna Wood: Dayna is known for her approachable, honest, and non-judgmental style. She applies creativity, mindfulness, and neuro-leadership pri

Note: This podcast is a part of the Healing Fundamentals series. The topics covered in this series move beyond the basics of tapping to understanding the healing process. By understanding these fundamentals you will be able to get more out of your tapping faster. Make sure you check out the whole series. A significant amount of my time tapping with clients is spent looking into the past. We identify and examine the past experiences and beliefs that have shaped the way that the subconscious influences present action. Tapping and EFT excel at this task! Human beings are not usually good at seeing the past clearly. We end up judging our past choices based on current beliefs. You have experienced this if you have ever thought, "I should have known better!" It is particularly hard because we find it almost impossible to remember what it is like to not know something. Once we have learned a lesson, it feels as if we have always known it. When we judge ourselves harshly in this way, it slows the healing process. Thi

New York City is a wacky place. One of the things that I have encountered firsthand is how amazingly different the dating scene is here compared with other cities. First, there are millions of people, many of whom are single, which vastly increases the pool of potential dates. Second, everyone is very busy so dates can be short (and feel a bit rushed) because everyone seems to have less time. Third, because of the first two points, people move on to the next prospective suitor more quickly than I have experienced other places. Because of this I have met some fascinating and wonderful women, I have consumed lots of really good food and drink on these dates, and I have been on more first dates in my short time in NYC than most people go on in their entire life. In this process I've learned two major lessons that have impacted my entire life: Say yes more. Making sure your yes means yes and your no means no. Embracing these two lessons in all parts of life, not just dating, has made my life richer and my relat

Note: This podcast is a part of the Fundamental Disposition series. The topics covered in this series move beyond the basics of tapping to understanding the healing process. By understanding these fundamentals you will be able to get more out of your tapping faster. Make sure you check out the whole series. Last week a client asked me, "Why do you make me tap on that phrase all the time? Is it something you see in me that makes you think we need to tap on it?" I reassured her that it had nothing to do with her in particular, but something I tapped on with all of my clients. And then, right on cue, two other clients this week asked me about the same tapping phrase! The phrase is: "I give myself permission to be easy and gentle with myself." This is the phrase my clients tend to resist the most AND I believe it is one of the most important topics for us to address with tapping. This week's podcast explores why it is so hard for us (me included) to tap on the idea of being gentle with ourselves and why it is imp

Just because we have a to-do list filled with useful tasks doesn't mean that we will actually have a productive day. Sometimes we waste our time on tasks that aren't even on our list, or we complete tasks on our list that are not the most valuable ones. Being busy is not necessarily the same thing as being productive. Here is a simple tapping tool I use every morning to ensure that I actually do the tasks on my to-do list AND I do the most valuable ones. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Recently I was working with a client on the grief she was feeling at missing so many experiences she loves during quarantine. As we were debriefing after a round of tapping she said: "While we were tapping on the grief I noticed all of these other pools of grief that were inside me from the past. As we tapped it was almost as if the wall between those pools of grief broke, the grief combined, and they all released together." Even though this was the first time I had heard this experience described in this particular way, with pools of emotions connecting, the experience itself is common. When we experience an emotion it reminds us of the other times we have experienced that same emotion. If those past emotions are not fully processed, it can feel like we're being hit by a wave of past emotions all at once. In the moment, we may feel worse because the emotions are getting stronger, but in reality it is a great opportunity to heal. We can clear not only what we are feeling in the moment, but also unprocessed

The world is a very big place and when we think of how we can make an impact on the world and everything going on in it, we can feel awfully small. In reality, our small gestures and ways of being in the world and how we interact with others can have a significant impact. Recognizing that our choices do make a difference make those helpful choices easier. This tap-along will help you to be a peacemaker in your world, which will ripple outwards and make a bigger impact. You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Most choices aren't black and white, so being of two minds is a common experience. There are pros and cons to both outcomes. On the finale of this season's Project Runway (US version), one of the contestants, Victoria Cocieru, was struggling with which direction to take with her designs. She said, "In my brain I have a thousand little brains and they are fighting with each other." I find that a very evocative way of thinking about the problem. This week's podcast explores and taps for struggling with being of two (or more) minds when trying to make decisions. You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! [player] Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Most of us spend at least half of our day at work. Because work consumes so much of our time and attention, stress from the working day can easily spill over into the rest of our lives. This week's podcast provides a tool that will help you to leave work at work. This tool applies to all types of work, no matter how many hours you work, and whether you travel to a workplace or work from home. It takes less than three minutes to do and will not only ensure you leave work stress at work, but will also make it easier to return to work the next day. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

Family is complicated. Because they are family we want what is best for them. But at the same time we put up with more from them than we'd put up with from others because they are family. We will allow our family to say and do things that we would not tolerate from anyone else in our lives. This can cause an internal conflict. How can we be a loving family member whilst at the same time not want to be around the person? This week's podcast explores and taps for: family relationships how to want what is best for them how to claim the space we need for our safety and well-being Even if you have a great relationship with your family, there will be some parts of the relationship you find frustrating. You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

One of the most difficult parts of the healing process is being able to forgive ourselves. It's common to believe that if we forgive ourselves, we are letting ourselves off the hook and failing to take responsibility for our past choices. Self-forgiveness is actually the opposite of this. Being able to move to a place of forgiveness means we are taking responsibility for the past and making sure it stays in the past. When we don't forgive, we're just reliving the past over and over again. This tap-along audio is a recording of one of my client sessions where we were tapping on the idea of self-forgiveness. I was given permission by my client to use this recording and I have also removed his voice from the audio. This will allow you to tap along as if I were tapping with you. You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

These uncertain times mean that our emotional guidance system is on overdrive. It is working nonstop to keep us safe because it's dealing with the unknown. That means we're expending energy all day long in the background as our emotional system tries to protect us. It's like we are starting off every day paying a 20% emotion tax, meaning that we only have 80% of our usual reserves and resilience. This podcast explores: the impact of the 20% emotion tax how to structure your work and to-do lists accordingly what are reasonable expectations at this time how to tap to manage this situation I also share the tapping I have been doing first thing in the morning to get the most out of each day. You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

One of the most common issues I uncover in my client sessions is the feeling of not being worthy to be here. It's seldom the main issue my clients present when we start working together, but as we work we find instances from their past where they felt dismissed or ignored by the people who were important to them. This creates a feeling of not believing you are worthy to be here at this moment. Here is a simple tap-along that will help you to recognize that you are worthy and valuable! You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts. Support the podcast! Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

The most primitive part of our emotional guidance system is our fear response. Fear's primary goal is to keep us from dying. I know that sounds like an overstatement, but this is exactly how it functions. Of course it's good that part of our internal guidance is on alert and doesn't want us to die, but in the modern word just because we fear something doesn't mean there are fatal consequences. Because of this, our fear can often get out of proportion. When we are acting out of fear we don't make the best choices. Sometimes we just freeze and don't do anything at all. At the same time, we don't want to be so casual that we become careless. When I am in a pressured situation my goal is to move from fear to urgency. When I am feeling a sense of urgency I understand that I need to act decisively. While fear makes us feel stuck, urgency gives us focused energy to take action. Here is a simple tap-along to help move you from a state of fear to one of urgency. You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a