Nugatory Quest

Look down at your legs; are you wearing shorts? Do you wish the rest of your legs were slightly (but not much) warmer? Or are you wearing pants but want to feel the sweet breeze on the lower portion of your shins? Well, do we have a product for you! Introducing: SHPANTS! They're slightly longer shorts or slightly shorter pants! SHPANTS! Wear them on the lawn! Wear them getting while getting groceries! Wear them at your daughter's wedding! SHPANTS! You'll wonder how you ever got by without SHPANTS! Using a patented new technique, SHPANTS combine the latest in short-lengthening technology, while still employing the pant shortening traditions we've come to know and love, and certainly aren't botched batches of shorts and pants we've decided to sell! SHPANTS! Get yours now! DO IT! SHPANTS! (Not be to confused with Bermuda Shorts.) Course Materials:  1. Regal Taupe 2. Smug Cow 3. Watered Furrows 4. Manscapelangelo 5. Muskmelon 6. Landshark