Performhappy With Rebecca Smith

Scores feel important in judged sports. They’re everywhere. On scoreboards, on social media, and in post-meet conversations. But the way we talk about scores can quietly shape how an athlete feels about themselves.I see this all the time when I work with teams. After a meet, I ask athletes what they’re most proud of. At first, they’re ready to answer. Then I say they can’t talk about scores or places. Suddenly, it’s hard for them to think of anything. That’s how early athletes learn to measure their experience by outcomes they don’t control.The problem is that scores start to feel like proof. Proof that the work was worth it. Proof that the money, time, and effort mattered. When the score isn’t what they hoped for, many athletes walk away feeling like they failed, even if they competed well.I once heard a story about a gymnast with intense performance anxiety. She had been falling meet after meet. Then one day, she stayed on every event. For the first time, she hit four for four. She was proud just to get thr