Ip...frequently

Turns out when federal workers stay home, America keeps right on trucking. But while Washington idles without consequence, David stumbles into actual operational chaos at Rhode Island's mysterious "Preserve," where he survives a surreal evening featuring purple-coated moguls, hostage-taking hospitality staff, disappearing celebrity chefs, militant scheduling protocols, and Hobbit houses under armed guard. Think Goodfellas meets boutique hotel meets witness protection program, with a side of free-range rams.Then the conversation turns to Colorado's Taco Bell Ultra Marathon—a 31-mile gastrointestinal minefield where runners must consume nine Taco Bells worth of food while maintaining forward momentum. Mandatory chalupa supremes, crunchwrap supremes, burrito supremes, and nachos Bellgrande—all while your body screams for mercy and every exit strategy becomes a potential biohazard. Optional "challenges" include bathing everything in Diablo sauce and doing a Diablo shooter at the finish