On Purpose With Jay Shetty

  What drains your energy the most?   How do you deal with toxic behaviors?   Today, Jay tackles a topic we can all relate to – dealing with those challenging family members and coworkers who add a little extra stress to our lives, especially as the holiday season rolls around. If you’re already bracing yourself for gatherings with people who seem to bring more tension than joy, Jay’s got you covered. He dives into why certain people fall into negative or toxic patterns, breaking down types like the pessimist, the complainer, the eternal victim, the energy drainer, and the “just good enough” person. Jay’s perspective sheds light on how these behaviors aren’t really who they are at their core but are often habits born from past hurts or unmet needs. Jay doesn’t just stop at explaining, though – he shares some really practical, relatable tips on how to navigate these tough dynamics without letting them throw you off balance. He talks about ways to respond with empathy, set emotional boundaries, and even gently

Have you ever felt stuck in a negative relationship cycle?   Have you ever struggled with setting boundaries in your relationships? Today, Jay welcomes back a community favorite, the renowned psychotherapist, bestselling author, and podcast host Lori Gottlieb, for an insightful chat about love, relationships, and emotional growth. Lori, best known for her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and as co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast, brings her deep wisdom and practical advice that really hits home with listeners. Lori shares how people often step into love with unrealistic expectations, thanks to social media and pop culture. She reminds us that while the spark of initial chemistry is thrilling, true, long-lasting love thrives on a deeper connection and genuine understanding. One of the highlights is Lori’s take on “idiot compassion” versus “wise compassion.” She breaks down how real compassion means looking at ourselves honestly, recognizing our patterns, and owning our part in the relationship

Do you ever try focusing on just one thing at a time? What’s one way you avoid distractions? Today, Jay’s diving into a struggle we all know too well: distraction. If you’ve ever found yourself scrolling on your phone without even thinking about it, you’re definitely not alone. Jay breaks down why it’s so hard to stay focused in a world full of constant notifications and packed schedules. But this episode isn’t about making us feel guilty—instead, it’s about giving us simple, doable strategies to actually make focus easier. Jay’s packed this episode with practical tips, like creating “no-phone zones” at home and setting tech-free times during the day to really be present. One of the standout strategies he shares is the Pomodoro Technique—working in short, focused bursts with breaks in between to keep your brain sharp and productive. Jay’s main message? Real productivity isn’t about doing more, faster—it’s about doing things better. He even shares some unique Ayurvedic advice, like chewing each bite 32 times (

How do you handle negative self-talk? What helps you overcome self-doubt? Today, Jay sits down with Grammy Award-winning artist Alicia Keys as she shares her journey of self-discovery, resilience, and holistic living. Alicia founded Keys SoulCare, a skincare line emphasizing holistic well-being, and is a co-founder of the initiative She Is the Music, advocating for gender equality in the music industry. The conversation sheds light into Alicia's evolution from a young girl with dreams to an icon balancing a multifaceted career. Jay and Alicia discuss the highs and lows of fame, navigating self-doubt, and the pressures of public life, providing listeners with valuable insights on managing stress and fostering a positive self-image. Alicia reflects on her childhood fears and the challenges of finding self-worth, candidly revealing how these experiences shaped her. She emphasizes the importance of staying grounded through practices like affirmations, journaling, and mindful rituals—habits that help her stay true

Are you open to just being friends with an ex? Do you think they want the same kind of friendship? Today, Jay’s diving into a question we've all probably wrestled with at some point: can you really stay friends with an ex? He kicks things off by laying down some ground rules, pointing out that not every ex is friendship material, especially if there was any toxicity or harm in the relationship. For those open to trying a platonic bond post-breakup, he highlights the real-life complexities and the level of emotional maturity it takes to make it work. Jay also brings in some interesting science, sharing that studies show people stay connected with their exes for reasons like security, convenience, keeping things civil, or even unresolved feelings. But each of these reasons can get messy, and Jay explains that often, the urge to stay friends might have more to do with wanting a sense of safety or familiarity than with genuine friendship. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Decide if an Ex Deserves Friendship H

How do you usually handle stress? Have you tried hypnosis for stress? Today, Jay with Dr. David Spiegel, a leading expert in psychiatry and behavioral sciences, to explore the transformative power of hypnotherapy. Dr. Spiegel, with over 45 years of experience in clinical and research fields, shares profound insights into the science behind hypnosis, dispelling myths and misconceptions. He explains how hypnosis is a natural, self-directed process that allows individuals to tap into heightened focus, manage pain, reduce stress, and address deep-seated traumas. The conversation begins with Dr. Spiegel explaining the foundations of hypnosis, highlighting its ability to narrow one’s focus, similar to a telephoto lens, and create a dissociative state where one can temporarily suspend self-limiting beliefs. This unique focus enables users to challenge habitual thoughts and reframe experiences. Dr. Spiegel shares real-life success stories, such as a war veteran who found peace with traumatic memories and individuals

Have you ever felt like success affected your dating life? Have you ever felt judged for your level of ambition? Today, Jay addresses the insecurities some men may feel when partnered with highly driven women, shedding light on societal conditioning and personal growth. discusses how societal expectations traditionally placed men in provider roles, which can lead to an unease when faced with a partner who exemplifies drive and independence. Jay also delves into recent studies, such as the "Clooney Effect," showing that most men actually value intelligence and confidence in their partners. By examining these narratives, Jay dispels myths that successful women are inherently intimidating to men. Instead, he encourages ambitious women not to diminish their goals but to seek partners who celebrate and complement their journey. In this episode, you'll learn: How to embrace your ambition without guilt How to address insecurities in your relationship How to balance mutual respect and personal ambition How to seek pa

What does a balanced life look like for you? Are you getting enough time to recharge? Today, Jay engages in a deeply reflective conversation with legendary actor, filmmaker, and writer Tom Hanks. With a career spanning over four decades, Hanks is renowned for his roles in iconic films like Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan, Cast Away, and The Green Mile, earning him two Academy Awards. Tom opens up about his unconventional childhood, moving frequently and adjusting to new environments, which shaped his adaptability and taught him the art of letting go. As he reflects on his career, he discusses how he continues to find purpose and depth in his work, emphasizing the joy of collaboration and the importance of staying curious. Together, Jay and Tom discuss how certain locations hold emotional weight, becoming symbols of comfort or life-changing reflection. They also touch on generational wisdom, the role of luck, and finding joy in small, shared experiences. With his characteristic humor and humility, Tom offers

Have you ever regretted not saying something sooner? Do you think holding in your emotions causes stress? Today, Jay takes us on a journey through the principles of the Tell Them Method, explaining that whether it's a simple decision like not wanting to attend an event or a deeper emotion like feeling unappreciated, the key is to directly communicate those feelings to the person involved. He highlights that most of us practice what he calls the "Tell Everyone But Them" method—where we vent to others but avoid speaking directly to the person who needs to hear it. This behavior, Jay argues, not only erodes trust and intimacy in relationships but also traps negative emotions within us, leading to stress and even physical discomfort. Jay uses relatable anecdotes and insights from research to underline the significance of expressing emotions in a healthy way. He discusses how bottled-up emotions can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, overreactions, and even health problems. By directly telling people how we feel

Have you ever tried different ways to get rid of belly fat? Have you ever tried different ways to suppress your appetite? Today, Jay welcomes women’s health expert, bestselling author, and podcast host Dr. Mindy Pelz to discuss how women can optimize their health, particularly through fasting, hormones, and metabolic health. Dr. Pelz explains the biological differences between men and women and emphasizes the importance of understanding the female body's rhythms and cycles for maintaining health and hormonal balance. Dr. Pelz begins by discussing common fasting mistakes, highlighting how doing the same fast daily can slow down metabolism. She introduces the concept of "feast-famine cycling," stressing the need for variety in fasting durations and windows, particularly for women. According to her, fasting must be adapted to the individual’s lifestyle and, for women, their menstrual cycle. She also addresses Jay’s personal approach to fasting and offers tailored advice for him, including when to eat before and

Do you find yourself thinking about your ex often? What has been the hardest part of moving on for you? Today, Jay taps into the emotional complexities of getting over an ex and provides actionable steps to move forward. Drawing on insights from neuroscience and psychology, Jay explains why it's entirely normal to struggle with letting go of a past relationship, even if it's been months or years. The emotional pain we experience after a breakup, he explains, is comparable to drug withdrawal, highlighting the deep biological connections we form with our partners. One of the most impactful ideas Jay shares is that clinging to the past steals energy and time from the future. By ruminating over what could have been, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to build new experiences and relationships. Ultimately, Jay’s message is clear: while it's natural to struggle with letting go, the key to healing lies in breaking old patterns, embracing new habits, and shifting our focus toward growth. If you or someone you know i

Have you ever struggled with guilt or shame? Why do you think self-forgiveness is so hard? Today, Jay sits down with the incredibly talented and resilient Jelly Roll, a Grammy-nominated Nashville native who has captured hearts with his raw, soulful music. Rising from a troubled past marked by addiction, incarceration, and personal struggles, Jelly Roll has turned his life around through music, earning widespread acclaim for his deeply emotional lyrics and raw storytelling. With a top-three debut on the Billboard 200 and multiple awards to his name, His music resonates with those facing hardship, offering a message of hope, redemption, and healing. Jelly Roll shares his powerful journey from a turbulent past—marked by addiction, incarceration, and emotional struggles—to becoming one of the most celebrated figures in country music today. Together, they explore topics like the impact of childhood trauma, battling demons, overcoming addiction, and the importance of love and healing in personal transformation. Jel

Have you ever struggled to change a habit? Do you think forcing someone to change ever works? Today, Jay dives deep into one of the most frequently asked questions: Can people really change? Drawing from a mix of personal stories, scientific research, and spiritual wisdom, Jay sheds light on the complexities of human behavior, how change unfolds, and why it can often seem so elusive. One of the key insights Jay offers is the distinction between acknowledgment and accountability. Many people acknowledge they need to change, but accountability—taking full responsibility for how their actions impact others and making a concrete plan to improve—is much harder to achieve. Without this deeper level of self-awareness and commitment, lasting change remains out of reach. Jay provides practical advice for those navigating relationships with people who seem resistant to change. He outlines key signs to look for that indicate someone is truly ready to change, including self-awareness, accountability, and a genuine desire

Why are you blocking yourself from love? What’s holding you back from attracting love? Today, let's welcome once again Jay's good friend Dr Joe Dispenza - a New York Times best-selling author, researcher, lecturer, and corporate consultant, Dr Joe Dispenza has developed a practical formula to help people transform their lives. Dr Joe’s mission unifies complex branches of science in an approachable way – focused on proven research, “Stories of Transformation” testimonials, and the scientific data behind spontaneous remissions.  Joe discusses his groundbreaking work on how individuals can transform their lives by tapping into the power of their thoughts and emotions. The conversation is centered around how stress, survival instincts, and subconscious beliefs block us from manifesting love and positive changes in our lives, the importance of shifting from a reactive, stress-driven state to a heart-centered, creative one, and “becoming” the person you want to be by aligning thoughts, feelings, and behaviors with

How do you usually react when you're angry? Have you ever regretted saying something in the heat of the moment? Today, Jay talks about the transformative power of the "90-Second Rule," a life-changing technique that can help you choose your response in moments of intense emotion. Have you ever acted in the heat of the moment and later regretted it? Jay explores how 90 seconds can be the difference between reacting impulsively and responding with intention. Inspired by Viktor Frankl's quote, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space," Jay unpacks the concept that this small window of time holds the key to our growth, freedom, and ability to create better outcomes in our lives. He shares personal stories, practical tips, and scientific insights to help you harness the power of this technique, including deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, and ways to recognize and label your emotions. In this episode, you'll learn: How to control your emotions in stressful moments How to apply the 90-second r

What part of your past self do you feel most attached to? What fears are holding you back from embracing who you are now? On this extremely special episode of On Purpose, Jay sits down with global music sensation and dear friend, Shawn Mendes. Shawn  is a Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter known for his soulful voice and heartfelt lyrics. The two go in deep to Shawn’s newest album ‘Shawn.’ Shawn is an advocate for mental health awareness, openly sharing his personal struggles with anxiety and self-discovery.  For the first time, Shawn opens up about his struggles with anxiety and the difficult decision to cancel his world tour to focus on his mental health, sharing the weight of that moment and the liberating journey of prioritizing his well-being. He reflects on the challenges of growing up in the spotlight, the pressures of maintaining perfection, and how therapy, friendships, and embracing vulnerability helped him find balance and peace. Shawn and Jay explore themes of love, relationships, and the intricac

Who in your life challenges you the most? Who sees more potential in you than you do? Today, Jay unpacks the powerful idea that everyone we meet serves a distinct purpose in our lives, acting as mirrors, windows, or doors. Inspired by a concept shared by TikTok creators Kim Peretz and Stale Hope, Jay talks about how different people reflect our flaws, show us glimpses of our potential, and open new pathways to growth. Jay explores the idea that some people mirror back our darkest and most uncomfortable traits, offering us valuable opportunities for self-awareness and growth. He emphasizes the challenge of accepting lessons from those we may not want to listen to, reminding us that the message is often more important than the messenger. He introduces the concept of doors and keys—those who open paths and unlock parts of ourselves in the most perfect way. He discusses the importance of gratitude and recognizing the people who have helped us move forward, even if we may have forgotten them. In this episode, you'

How do you usually handle stress in your life? Have you ever tried anything to boost your dopamine levels? Today, Jay welcomes back Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist and professor at Stanford University, known for his insightful work on brain development, neuroplasticity, and the intricate connection between the brain and body. Together, they discuss the neuroscience of friendship, exploring how our deep-rooted need for safety and acceptance plays a pivotal role in our social interactions. They unravel the paradox of modern society, where people feel emotionally distant despite increasing online connections and followers. Dr. Huberman highlights how our brain circuitry, which governs social bonding and connectedness, is tightly linked to our need for predictability and safety. He breaks down how these fundamental needs influence our relationships, both in early development and throughout adulthood, and how understanding these mechanisms can help combat the loneliness epidemic many experience today. Jay an

Are you feeling burnt out from dating lately? Do you feel like you're repeating the same mistakes in dating? Today, Jay talks about why dating burnout is a common and natural response to repeated disappointments, unmet expectations, and the overwhelming nature of modern dating apps. He notes that most respondents feel disconnected, disillusioned, and emotionally drained, which leads to frustration and reluctance to continue dating. It is important to accept and acknowledge feelings of burnout. Jay explains that a vital first step in overcoming this is to reframe expectations and approach dating with a healthier mindset. Dating is like applying for a job, where the process may involve multiple attempts and disappointments, but persistence is key. To avoid personalizing every rejection, focus on their self-worth, be kinder to themselves, and build resilience throughout the dating journey. Jay highlights the importance of identifying and aligning with core values, explaining that these are the foundation for lon

What would you tell your 14-year-old self? How do you quiet the “not good enough” voice? Today, Jay welcomes Ryan Holiday, renowned philosopher, bestselling author, and host of The Daily Stoic. With over 10 million copies of his books sold globally, Ryan returns to the podcast to dive deep into the concepts of personal growth, parenting, and finding purpose in a success-driven world. Ryan reflects on the journey of becoming a parent and discusses the difference between having kids and truly being a parent. He explains why intentional parenting is a radical shift from simply fulfilling biological or legal roles and explores the transformative impact of parenthood on personal and professional ambitions, emphasizing the importance of being prepared for the changes it brings. Jay also opens up about his own thoughts on parenthood and the life shifts that accompany major decisions, offering a heartfelt glimpse into the conversations he’s had with his wife about the timing of having children. Throughout the convers