So Very Wrong About Games

"My defense, Your Honour, was that I was specifically mandated by the rulebook issued by M. Xavier Georges and Quined Games to violate the lockdown restrictions issued by the Province of Ontario. I would put to you that it is unjust for the government to force me to choose between public heath measures backed by civil sanction on the one hand, and being a dirty dirty cheater on the other. Why are you all looking at me like that?"01:37 AYURIS: Gentes: Deluxified (Stefan Risthaus, Tasty Minstrel, 2018) Games Played Last Week:06:04 -Age of Industry (Martin Wallace, Treefrog Games, 2010)12:20 -Aquatica (Ivan Tuzovsky, Cosmodrome Games, 2019)16:09 -Russian Railroads (Helmut Ohley & Leanhard "Lonny" Orgler, Hans im Gluck, 2013)17:52 -Skytear (Giacomo Neri, Riccardo Neri, & Riccardo Parmeggiani, PvP Geeks, 2020)21:47 -La Granja (Michael Keller & Andreas "ode." Odendahl, Spielworxx, 2014)23:58 -Paris Connection (John Bohrer, Queen Games, 2010)26:23 -Anachrony (Dávid Turczi, Mindcla

Board Game Arena gets more and more of our gaming time, what with its snappy interface and minimal system requirements. The sound effects, though, are controversial. The community seems divided on whether the whooshes are pleasing or distracting, and whether the knock-knock-knock sound is charming or nerve-wracking. We have heard the noise accused of being evocative of imminent swatting, which seems excessive but potentially horrifying.Games Played Last Week:01:07 -The Crew: The Quest for Planet Nine (Thomas Sing, KOSMOS, 2019)05:23 -MicroMacro: Crime City (Johannes Sich, Pegasus Spiele, 2020)08:26 -Flick Wars (Shaun Austin & Andrew Tullsen, Breaking Games, 2019)10:46 -No Thanks! (Thorsten Gimmler, AMIGI, 2005)10:52 -Paris Connection (John Bohrer, Queen Games, 2010)11:42 -Nippon (Nuno Bizarro Sentieiro & Paulo Soledade, What's Your Game?, 2015)16:30 -Carnegie (Xavier Georges, Quined Games, 2021)18:43 -A Billion Suns: Interstellar Fleet Battles (Mike Hutchinson, Osprey Games, 2021)24:33 -Hallertau

If you've been following board games social media recently, you might have noticed that it's been a rough couple of weeks. Incidents like these, albeit difficult, allow us a chance to define our community and underscore our values. Silence can imply consent. We can either choose to silently defend powerful figures use their influence to harm vulnerable people without consequence, or we can choose to try and speak up to become a more welcoming and inclusive community. So Very Wrong About Games chooses to try to do the latter.00:57 Our statement on Phil Eklund and Daniele Tascini04:24 AYURIS: Warpgate (Artyom Nichipurov, Wolff Designa, 2018) Games Played Last Week:06:46 -Darwin’s Journey (Simone Luciani & Nestore Mangone, ThunderGryph Games, 2021)12:20 -Dinosaur Tea Party (Rob Daviau, JR Honeycutt, & Justin D. Jacobson, Restoration Games, 2018)17:00 -Calimala (Fabio Lopiano, ADC Blackfire Entertainment GmbH, 2017)20:11 -Cosmic Frog (Jim Felli, Devious Weasel Games, 2020)23:31 -Yokohama (Hisashi

Too much news! So much news, in fact, that we had to cut some news. Some news, though news-y, will keep until next week. The key is to wrap the roots of the news in damp paper towel, put the news in a plastic bag, and put the bag in the fridge. The news will keep up to a couple weeks that way, whereas it would have become limp news on the counter in as little as a day. Games Played Last Week:01:11 -By Stealth and Sea (Nicola Saggini & David Thompson, DVG Games, 2020)06:02 -Dinosaur Tea Party (Rob Daviau, JR Honeycutt, & Justin D. Jacobson, Restoration Games, 2018)09:43 -Guards of Atlantis II: Tabletop MOBA (Artyom Nichipurov, Wolff Designa, 2021)14:27 -Iwari: Deluxe Edition (Michael Schacht, ThunderGryph Games, 2020)17:33 -BattleCON: Unleashed (D. Brad Talton, Level 99 Games, 2020)21:01 -Whistle Mountain (Scott Caputo & Luke Laurie, Bézier Games, 2020)24:16 -Charterstone (Jamey Stegmaier, Stonemaier Games, 2017)News (and why it doesn't matter):26:31 Leftover animal mentions: Kabuto Sumo, Crash

In honour of our big, blowout, end-of-year extravaganza spectacular, no expense was spared. Mark put on pants. Walker wore his t-shirt with the fewest holes. The sheep freshly sheared. The palanquin carriers were freshly oiled. Come, thrill to the summary of what was actually a very good year in terms of boardgame releases.Games Played Last Week:02:16 -Guardians (Callin Flores, Plaid Hat Games, 2018)03:46 -Super Fantasy Brawl (Jochen Eisenhuth, Mythic Games, 2020)06:07 -MegaCity: Oceania (Jordan Draper & Michael Fox, Hub Games, 2019)09:55 -Dwellings of Eldervale (Luke Laurie, Breaking Games, 2020)14:59 -Bonfire (Stefan Feld, Hall Games, 2020)19:13 -Caravan (Joe Huber, Rio Grande Games, 2019)22:50 -Dune: Imperium (Paul Dennen, Dire Wolf, 2020)27:42 -Nidavellir (Serge Laget, GRRRE Games, 2020)29:17 -Whistle Mountain (Scott Caputo & Luke Laurie, Bézier Games, 2020)34:09 -Aristocracy (Reiner Knizia, Tasty Minstrel Games, 2019)35:08 -Gloomhaven: Jaws of the Lion (Isaac Childres, Cephalofair Games, 2020)New

All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious episode of SVWAG! A day with So Very Wrong About Games is like a day on the farm. Every word's a banquet! Every sentence a fortune! Every review a soliloquy! I love SVWAG!Games Played Last Week:01:40 -Aristeia!: Prime Time (Alberto Abal, Jesús Fuster, & David Rosillo, Corvus Belli, 2020)05:05 -Vengeance: Director’s Cut Expansion (Gordon Calleja, Mighty Boards, 2020) 11:03 -For What Remains: Out of the Basement (Paul Low, David Thompson, & Ricardo Manuel Luis Tomas, DVG, 2020)14:42 -Undaunted: North Africa (Trevor Benjamin & David Thompson, Osprey Games, 2020) 18:13 -It's a Wonderful World (Frédéric Guérard, La Boîte de Jeu, 2019)21:20 -Caravan (Joe Huber, Rio Grande Games, 2019)22:41 -Fast Sloths (Friedemann Friese, 2F-SPiele, 2019)27:19 -Cacao (Phil Walker-Harding, ABACUSSPIELE, 2015)28:11 -Aliens: Another Glorious Day in the Corps (Andrew Haught, Gale Force Nine, 2020)32:45 -Aliens (David McKenzie &

"I hit you!" "Nuh-uh, you missed!" "I totally hit you!" "I dodged it!" "I have special homing missiles you can't dodge!" "I have a shield that redirects all your shots back to you!" "I have an invincibility field!" "I can shoot through invincibility!" At this point, Games Workshop would have us roll off, with the person rolling higher getting the title of Most Obnoxious Person.01:49 AYURIS: Cthulhu Wars (Sandy Peterson & Lincoln Petersen, Petersen Games, 2015)Games Played Last Week:05:02 -AuZtralia (Martin Wallace, Stronghold Games, 2018)11:16 -Under Falling Skies (Tomáš Uhlíř, Czech Games Edition, 2020)12:49 -The King Is Dead: Second Edition (Peer Sylvester, Osprey Games, 2020)19:48 -Jetpack Joyride: Deluxe Edition (Michał Gołębiowski, Lucky Duck Games, 2019)22:43 -Apocalypse Road (Jeff Horger & Carla Horger, GMT Games, 2020)29:53 -Marvel United (Andrea Chiarvesio & Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2020)33:06 -Gaia Project (Jens Drögemüller &

Mark has occasion to quote three different movies in this episode, and miraculously none of them are Pulp Fiction, The Lion in Winter, or even Aliens--despite the latter being related to a game discussed! Perhaps his echolalia is abating, or perhaps merely evolving. One should, after all, take every advantage to quote the well-spoken Ayatollah of Rock-and-Rolla.Games Played Last Week:01:19 -Pax Renaissance (Phil Eklund & Matt Eklund, Sierra Madre Games, 2016)04:14 -Praga Caput Regni (Vladimír Suchý, Delicious Games, 2020)13:20 -Agricola (Revised Edition) (Uwe Rosenberg, Lookout Games, 2016)17:56 -Marvel United (Andrea Chiarvesio & Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2020)21:30 -Under Falling Skies (Tomáš Uhlíř, Czech Games Edition, 2020)24:59 -The Court of Miracles (Vincent Brugeas & Guilhem Gautrand, Lumberjacks Studio, 2019)29:05 -Nidavellir (Serge Laget, GRRRE Games, 2020)32:00 -Last Aurora (Mauro Chiabotto, Pendragon Game Studio, 2020)37:40 -Evolution: Climate (Dominic Crapuchettes, Dmitry Knorre, & Serge

One is reminded of those memes that plot definitions on two axes, asking to what degree the reader is a purist or a rebel--the setting purist and the mechanical purist would say "Descent is a dungeon crawler." Perhaps the setting purist and mechanical rebel would say "Dungeon Lords is a dungeon crawler." Invariably these memes revel in the reductio ad absurdum, so I have to imagine the setting rebel and the mechanical rebel would say "Hopscotch is a dungeon crawler."01:43 AYURIS: Batman: Gotham City Chronicles (Frédéric Henry, Monolith, 2019)Games Played Last Week: 03:39 -By Stealth and Sea (Nicola Saggini & David Thompson, DVG Games, 2020)08:26 -Altar Quest (Adam Sadler & Brady Sadler, Blacklist Games, 2020)18:17 -Gods Love Dinosaurs (Kasper Lapp, Pandasaurus Games, 2020)19:34 -Yedo: Deluxe Master Set (Thomas Vande Ginste & Wolf Plancke, Board&Dice, 2020)24:50 -The Court of Miracles (Vincent Brugeas & Guilhem Gautrand, Lumberjacks Studio, 2019)27:15 -Nidavellir (S

It is the nature of the Walker who cries wolf that if he repeats the claim often and consistently enough, it might come true eventually. Despite the unrelenting constancy of Chinese New Year, some games do actually get produced--just only after they have emerged from their purgatorial delay in the never-ending holiday. So it is with Tidal Blades; after claims of "any day now" for years, it finally arrived, like some unwieldy piece of oversized deluxe... well... is it flotsam or jetsam? We must review it to find out. Games Played Last Week: 01:16 -Magic Realm (Richard Hamblen, Avalon Hill, 1979)07:30 -Funkoverse Strategy Game: Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas (Prospero Hall, Funko Games, 2020)11:53 -Hansa Teutonica (Andreas Steding, Argentum Verlag, 2010)13:28 -Beyond the Sun (Dennis K. Chan, Rio Grande Games, 2020)20:00 -Terra Mystica (Jens Drögemüller & Helge Ostertag, Feuerland Spiele, 2012)21:50 -Project: ELITE (Konstantinos Kokkinis, Marco Portugal, & Sotirios Tsantilas, CMON,

Clearly the hosts secretly wanted to have a movie podcast, or perhaps just a podcast devoted to the movie Aliens. To their credit, they at least did not devolve into merely parroting quotes from the film, which is a behaviour as obnoxious and it is difficult to avoid. Rest assured they offered their poor paraphrases and hackneyed delivery while actually playing the Aliens game. It was a bad call, listener, it was...Crap. 02:37 AYURIS: Catacombs 3rd ed. (Ryan Amos, Marc Kelsey, & Aron West, Elzra Corp., 2015)Games Played Last Week: 04:34 -Rome & Roll (Nick Shaw & Dávid Turczi, PSC Games, 2020)07:48 -Dice Forge (Régis Bonnessée, Libellud, 2017)09:48 -Martian Dice (Scott Almes, Tasty Minstrel Games, 2011)11:28 -Asgard’s Chosen (Morgan Dontanville, Mayfair Games, 2013)13:57 -Aliens: Bug Hunt (Ryan Miller, Upper Deck Entertainment, 2020)21:12 -Spirit Island: Jagged Earth (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2020)23:38 -FlickFleet (Jackson Pope & Paul Willcox, Eurydice Games, 2018)27:01 -Civilizatio

We have an unwritten constitution here at SVWAG, which we know causes some people from jurisdictions with written constitutions to get a little mystified and/or twitchy. Trust us, it works! We get to claim a rich constitutional history all the way back to 1215 and the Magna Carta, or at least we will, once we figure out what King John had to do with podcasting. It's the kind of arrangement that works until you have a constitutional crisis, which we have about as often as those places with written constitutions; except we tend to settle ours with sidelong glances and lots of utterances along the lines of, "So... how do you, uh... think this works?" Games Played Last Week: 01:51 -Welcome To New Las Vegas (Alexis Allard & Benoit Turpin, Blue Cocker Games, 2020)03:50 -Escape the Dark Sector (Alex Crispin, Thomas Pike, & James Shelton, Themeborne Ltd., 2020)07:06 -Via Magica (Paolo Mori, Hurrican, 2020)08:59 -Cthulhu: Death May Die (Rob Daviau & Eric Lang, CMON, 2019)12:16 -Gods Love Dinos

It's the daylight savings, it's got to be. You give us an extra hour in the week--through the magic of time travel--and we'll take it to play eleventy new games. The geniuses (Canadians, for what it's worth) who invented standard time probably didn't take into account the havoc it might wreak on our podcasting. So many new games! Not enough time for the topic! We will endure.01:08 AYURIS: Calimala (Fabio Lopiano, ADC Blackfire Entertainment GmbH, 2017)Games Played Last Week: 02:29 -High Rise (Gil Hova, Formal Ferret Games, 2020)07:02 -Cthulhu: Death May Die (Rob Daviau & Eric Lang, CMON, 2019)08:00 -Keyflower (Sebastien Bleasdale & Richard Breese, R&D Games, 2012)10:23 -Civilization: A New Dawn—Terra Incognita (Tony Fanchi, Fantasy Flight Games, 2020)16:50 -Feierabend aka Finishing Time (Friedemann Friese, 2F-Spiele, 2020)22:37 -Gatefall (Jack Dire, Jack Dire Studios, 2020)28:07 -The Castles of Tuscany (Stefan Feld, alea, 2020)32:09 -Cosmic Colonies (Scott Almes, Floodgate Gam

The unofficial motto of SVWAG has always been, "stop trying to make fetch happen." Similarly, you can't just make up words out of thin air--it's not like they're holidays or anything that can be conjured ex nihilo (Happy Arkhipov Day!). What's an Arnak, anyway? Can you lose ruins of something that never existed? I suppose a fantasy is a good pretext to give us an arm's length distance from generations of pith-decked looters and graverobbers. Relatedly, Walker desperately wants to coin the term "Azteckian," but Mark's not having it.Games Played Last Week: 01:32 -Quantum (Eric Zimmerman, Funforge, 2013)04:15 -Infinity Gauntlet: A Love Letter Game (Seiji Kanai & Alexander Ortloff, Zman Games, 2020)07:34 -BattleCON: Unleashed (D. Brad Talton, Level 99 Games, 2020)12:52 -Sakura Arms (BakaFire, AEG, 2017)15:05 -Race for the Galaxy: The Brink of War (Thomas Lehmann, Rio Grande Games, 2010)16:52 -Carcassonne: Hunters and Gatherers (Klaus-Jürgen Wrede & Bernd Brunnhofer

In honour of Arkhipov Day (October 27th--he saved your life or that of your forebears, he deserves a day), we turn to reflections of how games model war. Even themeless euros often include war as a convenient backdrop for the processing of cubes, so it is hardly restricted to one genre of gaming or another. That said, gaming is not unique--pretty much any medium can boast of a plethora of war narratives. 01:17 AYURIS: HATE (Raphaël Guiton, Jean-Baptiste Lullien, Alexandru Olteanu, & Nicolas Raoult, CMON, 2019) Games Played Last Week: 04:41 -Darkest Night (Second Edition) (Jeremy Lennert, Victory Point Games, 2018)10:40 -Quantum (Eric Zimmerman, Funforge, 2013)14:58 -7 Wonders Duel (Antoine Bauza & Bruno Cathala, Repos Production, 2015)15:58 -Lucky Numbers (Michael Schacht, Ravensburger, 2012)16:47 -Keyflower (Sebastian Bleasdale & Richard Breese, R&D Games, 2012)17:03 -The Crew: The Quest for Planet Nine (Thomas Sing, KOSMOS, 2019)17:58 -For What Remains (Paul Low, David Thompson, & Ricar

I never knew a kid who had any kind of fort. In grade school I heard of a kid who could form Voltron, but that may have been an extravagant lie. My mom's friend's kids had a Sega Genesis, and that was pretty rad. I keep acquiring more games in the vain hope that it will make me popular, but it hasn't worked yet. Maybe one or two more Street Masters expansions will do the trick. I am told to be popular you have to wash your hair at least once every two weeks.Games Played Last Week:02:21 -Black Rose Wars (Marco Montanaro, Ludus Magnus Studio, 2019) 14:07 -ELO Darkness (Tommaso Mondadori & Alberto Parisi, Reggie Games, 2018)17:33 -Sakura Arms (Baka Fire, AEG, 2017)20:23 -Wits & Wagers (Dominic Crapuchettes, North Star Games, 2005)22:06 -Too Many Bones (Adam & Josh Carlson, Chip Theory Games, 2017)27:43 -Nanga Parbat (Steve Finn, Dr. Finn's Games, 2021)30:17 -Scythe (Jamey Stegmaier, Stonemaier Games, 2016)32:19 -Through the Ages: A New Story of Civilization (Vlaada Chvátil, CGE, 201

The mere framing of a question can subtly or overtly determine the answer. There's an old joke about a monk who asks his superior, "Can I smoke while I meditate?" He is told no, as that would be sullying an act that is meant to be free from worldly concerns. The clever monk decides instead to ask another superior, "While I smoke, can I meditate?" So it is with boardgames! Framing can have tremendous consequences.01:55 AYURIS: XenoShyft: Onslaught (Keren Philosophales & Michael Shinall, CMON, 2015) and Dreadmire (Michael Shinall, CMON, 2017) Games Played Last Week:04:35 -Assault on Doomrock: Doompocalypse (Christopher Niewiadomski & Tom Stasiak, Beautiful Disaster Games, 2017)06:47 -Alma Mater (Acchittocca, Flaminia Brasini, Virginio Gigli, Stefano Luperto, & Antonio Tinto, eggertspiele, 2020)11:50 -Spirit Island: Jagged Earth (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2020)15:13 -Marco Polo II: In the Service of the Khan (Simone Luciani & Daniele Tascini, Hans im Gluck, 2019)17:36

Social standards of behaviour are often subtle and variable, but we can all agree that children are often blind to their subtle nuances. Like, don't be a massive jerk--that's one of those tricky nuances that often escape the notice of your average child, what with many of them being borderline sociopaths kept in check only by their relative powerlessness and incompetence. Then again, perhaps Mark is the sociopath for not being able to tolerate the annoyances of child behaviour. Then again, perhaps both are true, and Mark is merely a giant, sociopathic man-baby. All that said, no human deserves to be subjected to Monopoly.Games Played Last Week:01:20 -Monopoly (Charles Darrow & Elizabeth J. Magie Phillips, Hasbro, 1933)06:55 -Pendulum (Travis P Jones, Stonemaier Games, 2020)16:53 -The Crew: The Quest for Planet 9 (Thomas Sing, KOSMOS, 2019)17:48 -My City (Reiner Knizia, KOSMOS, 2020)19:35 -Flick ‘Em Up: Dead of Winter (Gaëtan Beaujannot, Jonathan Gilmour, Jean Yves Monpertuis, & Isaac Vega, Pre

Hwaet! The second installment of our much-ignored segment, SVWAG Poetry Corner, takes a turn for the epic. First we did haiku, and now we discuss Old English epic poetry. Sure the noble limerick can't be far behind? We also discuss the most excellent lifestyle habits of our new idol, Kane Tanaka, who seems to be living her best life on her own terms. You go, Kane Tanaka! Rip off some monster's arm or something.01:07 AYRUIS: Concordia (Mac Gerdts, PD-Verlag, 2013) and Concordia Venus (2018) Games Played Last Week:02:27 -For What Remains (Paul Low, David Thompson, & Ricardo Manuel Luis Tomas, DVG Games, 2020)03:36 -Bärenpark (Phil Walker-Harding, Lookout, 2017)05:08 -My City (Reiner Knizia, KOSMOS, 2020)06:16 -Forgotten Waters (Mr. Bistro, J. Arthur Ellis, & Isaac Vega, Plaid Hat Games, 2020)12:54 -Sorcerer (Peter Scholtz, White Wizard Games, 2019)15:50 -Cerebria: The Inside World (Richard Amann, & Viktor Peter, Mindclash Games, 2018)18:24 -Alma Mater (Acchittocca, Flaminia Brasini, Virginio

Our cup runneth over, if the cup in question is being filled by tiles laid there by Reiner Knizia. Three Knizia tile-laying games were sampled by SVWAG, which of course made it a good week. One feels that if someone proposed a topic of "Reiner Knizia tile-laying games", the appropriate editorial response would be "narrow the scope, please." Games Played Last Week:01:12 -Spirit Island: Jagged Earth (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2020)02:27 -Mariposas (Elizabeth Hargrave, AEG, 2020)07:07 -Tekhenu: Obelisk of the Sun (Daniele Tascini & Dávid Turczi, Board&Dice, 2020)14:37 -Carolus Magnus (Leo Colovini, Rio Grande, 2000)20:04 -My City (Reiner Knizia, KOSMOS, 2020)21:48 -Indigo (Reiner Knizia, Ravensburger, 2012)25:27 -Starlink (Markus Slawitscheck & Arno Steinwender, Blue Orange Games, 2020)News (and why it doesn't matter):29:36 The possible returns of things called HeroQuest and Avalon Hill31:17 Dungeon Fighter returns32:26 Ludonova: Sumatra by Knizia and Polynesia by Peer Sy