10% Happier With Dan Harris

We talk a lot on this show about social connection, but in this episode we’re going to get super granular on how to actually do relationships better. Carole Robin and David Bradford taught the most popular elective course at the Stanford Graduate School of Business for a combined total of 75 years. Officially, the name of the course is Interpersonal Dynamics, but everybody calls it “Touchy-Feely.” Together they have written the new book, Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues. We dive into the six hallmarks of what they call “exceptional relationships,” how to be honest and vulnerable without overdoing it, why the questions “how am I feeling?” and “how are you feeling?” are central to improving our communication, the inevitability of risk when you set out to deepen a relationship, and why meditation is helpful in all of this. Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-epi

In the mental health community, there’s a new term: “Eco-Anxiety.”   Our guest in this episode, Jay Michaelson, has been thinking hard about climate change for many, many years. Michaelson is a meditation teacher, rabbi, lawyer, activist, and journalist. And he is also a core teacher in the Ten Percent Happier app. He’s covered climate change extensively, and has taught environmental ethics at Boston University Law School and Chicago Theological Seminary. He has also been a leading environmental activist in religious communities.    In this conversation, we talk about what Jay thinks some meditation teachers get wrong about climate change, what he calls the “delusion” that individual habit change can make an impact, how we can use meditation to engage more effectively in the kind of politics he says we need to move the needle on a systemic level, and how to use meditation and deep breathing to handle eco-anxiety.    

In this episode we’re talking about increasing happiness by connecting to nature.  Guest Andreas Weber is a renowned philosopher, biologist, and writer based in Berlin. He is the author of many books, including Matter & Desire: An Erotic Ecology. He has a fascinating and surprising approach: calling for an “erotic” relationship to nature. Weber calls it “erotic ecology” and argues that we have been socialized to have an instrumental view of nature and instead wants us to be in a love relationship with nature.  In this conversation, we talk about how to actually practice erotic ecology, what Weber means when he says love is the foundational principle of reality, how and why to make ourselves “edible,” and how Weber manages his own pessimism when it comes to climate change.

You may have heard about stoicism, in the common parlance, as having a stiff upper lip, sucking it up, grinning and bearing it, suppressing your emotions, etcetera. Or you may have heard of Stoicism, the ancient Greco-Roman philosophy, that has become the de rigeur set of life hacks among millennial self-optimizers. In this episode, guest Nancy Sherman argues that Stoicism is way deeper than any of that. She will argue that, in fact, Stoicism is kind of the opposite of all the above. It’s a way to truly know your patterns of thought and emotion. Nancy is a Professor of Philosophy at Georgetown University. She is an expert in ethics, the history of moral philosophy, moral psychology, military ethics, and emotions. Her most recent book is called Stoic Wisdom: Ancient Lessons for Modern Resilience. In this conversation we cover the basics of Stoicism, how and why capital “S” Stoicism is often misinterpreted, a meditation practice called “premeditation of evils” (which is far more practical than it may sound), an

In this episode, we’re going to demystify concepts such as: self actualization, personal growth, authenticity, and bringing your “whole self” to the table.  Scott Barry Kaufman is a cognitive scientist and humanistic psychologist. He is the founder and director of the Center for the Science of Human Potential at the University of Melbourne’s Centre for Wellbeing Science. He also hosts the #1 psychology podcast in the world - The Psychology Podcast. And he is the author of a new book called Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization. We talk about the meaning of “transcendence” and the difference between transcending in an unhealthy and healthy way; being compassionate, understanding, accepting, forgiving, and perhaps even loving about your foibles and ugliness; and the difference between authenticity and “pseudo-authenticity”. You can download the Ten Percent Happier app here today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Here are the steps for sending us a question for our upcoming Work Life Series:

Michael Pollan has done more than perhaps anybody else in recent history to change the conversation on the use of psychedelic drugs, or plant medicine. He is author of the best selling book called How to Change Your Mind and he recently followed up with another book called This is Your Mind on Plants. Pollan is also the co-founder of the University of California Berkeley Center for the Science of Psychedelics, along with another recent podcast guest, Dacher Keltner.  In this conversation we talk about whether psychedelics and meditation can mix and the links between psychedelics, meditation and Buddhism; the universal human drive to change consciousness; and his experiences with the three plants that he focuses on in his new book: opium, caffeine, and mescaline. Please note: this episode contains conversations about depression, suicide, and substance use.  Here are the steps for sending us a question for our upcoming Work Life Series: 1. Go to a quiet place and open the default voice memo recording app on you

Happiness levels are really high when we’re young. They then steadily dip through our 20s, 30s, and 40s, and bottom out in our early 50s–at which point, they make a sharp and sudden rise. Then, through our 60s, 70s, and 80s, they are way above where we were in our youth.  Why is this? Why do we get happier even as our bodies are falling apart? Here’s another question: Why, from the standpoint of evolution, do humans stick around way past the point of reproductive age? The answer to all of these questions, per our guest today, is: wisdom.  Dr. Dilip Jeste is a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, San Diego, and the author of Wiser: The Scientific Roots of Wisdom, Compassion, and What Makes Us Good. In this conversation, we talk about how exactly he defines wisdom, what people of all ages can do to become wiser now, and the relationship between wisdom and loneliness. A quick content warning: this conversation includes references to sensitive topics, including suicide, substance

Here’s a thought experiment: how would you handle it if you got a terrible diagnosis? Of course, many of us have no choice but to find out. This is the situation Suleika Jaouad faced when she got gravely ill at a very young age. She had to figure out how to have a sense of agency when so much was out of her control, and how to stay awake and present when her life was hanging in the balance.  Suleika Jaouad is a journalist, author, speaker, cancer survivor, and the author of a book called Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted. She is also the creator of “Life, Interrupted,” the Emmy award-winning New York Times column and video series that she created from her hospital bed.  In this conversation, we talk about: Suleika’s journey from being diagnosed with leukemia as a young adult to her recovery today; managing your emotions in excruciating situations; handling an ocean of uncertainty; feeding your need for creativity and productivity when your body is in mutiny mode; and the immense value of st

A common problem among type-A people is trying to win at meditation. But the practice doesn’t work like that. If you over-effort, if you try to make something happen, it’s pretty much guaranteed not to happen. What is guaranteed is that you will suffer. Meditation is like a video game where you can’t move forward if you want to move forward too badly.  Our guest today is Alexis Santos, who has been practicing meditation for twenty years and was a student of the highly influential Burmese monk Sayadaw U Tejaniya. Alexis is also a core teacher in the Ten Percent Happier app and the lead teacher of our On the Go course. In this episode, Alexis recounts his time learning from Sayadaw and shares an approach to meditation that is more relaxed than what many of us may be used to. It just might change your practice. Watch Season 2 of Ted Lasso on Apple TV+. Subscription required. Apple TV+ and/or select content may not be available in all regions. To join the Ted Lasso Challenge by midnight tonight, download the Ten

In this episode, we’re talking about the difference between kindness and what our guest, La Sarmiento, calls “radical kindness,” how to muster the strength to be kind to annoying people while setting appropriate boundaries, the difference between radical compassion and what the Tibetans call “idiot compassion,” and their experience of learning to accept themselves in a culture that is not always so welcoming. Sarmiento, whose pronouns are they/them, has been practicing Vipassana meditation since the 1990’s. They are a graduate of the Spirit Rock Community Dharma Leader Training Program and a mentor in the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program. They serve as the guiding teacher for the BIPOC and LGBTQ+ sanghas at the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, DC, where they are also board president. We are bringing you this Ten Percent Happier podcast series in collaboration with the Apple TV+ Original Series Ted Lasso because kindness is a huge theme in the show, and there are many practical l

In this episode we’re talking about how what you believe— about yourself, or about the world — can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So if you believe the world is a cold and unforgiving place, it can become that way. And if you believe that you have limited capacities for kindness, you can, in effect, make it so. Our guest is Jamil Zaki, who is making his second appearance here on the show. Jamil is a professor of psychology at Stanford University and the director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab. He is a leading expert on empathy and the author of the book The War for Kindness. Jamil discusses three levels of kindness: kindness toward ourselves, kindness in our close relationships, and kindness in our communities. He argues that starting with the self is critical, but also that the kinder we can make our communities, the kinder we will be ourselves. And the more we reorient ourselves to focus on the positive, the more we can create a self-fulfilling prophecy of kindness. We are bringing you this Ten

Here’s a question: Is there an evolutionary advantage to being kind?  Our guest today is Dacher Keltner, an eminent scientist who will make the case that, contrary to popular conceptions of evolution (dog-eat-dog, survival of the fittest), and contrary to a lot of what we see on the news, our species is actually uniquely wired for kindness and compassion. Dacher Keltner is the Director of the Social Interaction Lab at the University of California at Berkeley, the Faculty Director of the Berkeley Greater Good Science Center, and the author of the book Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life.  In this episode, we talk about Darwin’s perspective on human sympathy and selfishness, where he stands on the question of Original Sin versus Buddha Nature, the importance of touch when it comes to communicating compassion, and the relationship between teasing and kindness.  We are bringing you this Ten Percent Happier podcast series in collaboration with the Apple TV+ Original Series Ted Lasso because kindness

Stress – which many of us despise and try to avoid – does not actually have to be a bad thing. Rather, it’s our relationship to stress, our mindset about stress, that determines whether we are helped or harmed by it. Today’s guest has the science to back this up and the practical tools to help you transfer her insights from the lab to your life. Modupe Akinola is an Associate Professor of Management at the Columbia Business School and host of the TED Business podcast. She is also one of the featured experts in our Stress Better course in the Ten Percent Happier app. In this conversation, Modupe talks about what she’s learned during these extraordinarily stressful last couple of years, what she calls the “stress mindset” (and how to cultivate it), and the vast resources available to us for handling stress (and how to tap them). We also dive into another of Modupe’s areas of expertise: how to have productive conversations around the often stressful–but critical–issues of diversity, equity, and inclusion. Get re

Friendship might not necessarily be something you’ve considered to be an urgent psychological and physiological issue. On this show, we spend a lot of time exploring how the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives and our health. Sadly, in many ways, it’s harder than ever to make and keep friends.  With loneliness and disconnection on the rise, it’s clear that our society just wasn’t constructed for social connection. And recent data suggests we’re in a friendship crisis, with many of us reporting that we have fewer close friendships than ever. Our guest today is Robin Dunbar, an Emeritus Professor of Evolutionary Psychology at Oxford University and the author of numerous books on the development of Homo sapiens. Dunbar is perhaps best known for formulating “Dunbar's number,” which is a measurement of the number of relationships our brain is capable of maintaining at any one time. He is a world-renowned expert on human relationships, and has a ton of fascinating research findings and

This great deep-Dharma episode is all about using an ancient, fascinating, and readily-accessible Buddhist concept as a way to improve your interactions with other human beings. The concept in question is called vedana, or “feeling tone.” Our guest, Martine Batchelor, will explain. She was a Buddhist nun in Korea for ten years and is now a lecturer, spiritual counselor, and author of such books as “The Path of Compassion” and “Women in Korean Zen." Two brief notes: First, this episode is a re-run, which we’re doing a few times this summer in order to give the staff a breather, and also to resurface some of our older gems for our newer listeners. Second, this conversation includes some brief references to sensitive topics, including sexual activity and substance abuse. Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/martine-batchelor-repost

A lot of us right now would probably agree that the technologies meant to make our jobs easier are actually stressing us out. (Think: the email and Slack messages that never stop and with which you can never catch up.) The worst part is the dopamine hit that you can get hooked on that comes with getting new information, causing you to check your messages way too often. And all of this has been exacerbated by working remotely. In this episode, our guest Cal Newport says that these technologies have created what he calls “the hyperactive hive mind,” and he has a ton of thoughts about how to stop it. He’s a computer science professor at Georgetown University and a New York Times bestselling author of seven books, including A World Without Email, Digital Minimalism, and Deep Work. He’s also the host of the popular Deep Questions podcast.  In this conversation, we talk about how to minimize the impact of the hyperactive hive mind, how the way we work is fundamentally broken, how we ended up in our current work sit

In this episode we’re tackling some thorny dharma questions. For example: How do you love someone without attachment? How do you love yourself when the self is allegedly an illusion?  Our guest today is a repeat customer, Kevin Griffin. He joined us a few months ago in an episode about the nature of craving and addiction. This time, Kevin’s back with a semi-skeptical take on loving-kindness -- that venerable, if somewhat misunderstood, Buddhist practice. Our conversation is centered around a book he wrote, called Living Kindness: Buddhist Teachings for a Troubled World.  We talk about lovingkindness vs. “living kindness," the dangers of modern metta practice, and the idea that you don't have to feel love all the time (but can still seek to handle situations with non-ill-will). Please note: This conversation includes brief references to addiction and other forms of suffering. If you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, download it for free wherever you get your apps: https://10percenthappier.app.lin

It is incredibly common for many of us humans, whatever our gender, to be at war with our bodies -- trying to live up to the people we see in the movies, on social media, or even the versions of ourselves in old pictures. This never-enough-ness can lead to an ambient level of self-loathing that can be incredibly destructive. That's where "radical self-love" comes in. Our guest today is Sonya Renee Taylor. She is the author of three books, including The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love. She is the Founder and Radical Executive Officer of The Body is Not An Apology. She has come to this work as a result of her own personal pain, as a Black woman inhabiting a body that she says does not conform to societal norms.  In this conversation, we talk about defining radical self-love (and why she believes it's our natural state), tools for cultivating radical self-love, and the connection between being OK with yourself and the larger society. (Also, just a heads up: There is one brief reference to

Modern life has turned many of us into zombies. We walk around with our noses in our phones, constantly on the hunt. We’re not looking to eat people’s brains, per se, but we are looking for mindless hits of dopamine -- from the latest headline, email, text, or “like” on our Instagram post. This has profound consequences, for us as individuals and for the society as a whole.  Our guest in this episode argues that we need to wake up to this, and learn how to create human connection. Koshin Paley Ellison is an author, Zen priest, and Jungian psychotherapist. He co-founded the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care and is the author of Wholehearted: Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up. Ellison dives into his attempts to rescue the cliche of intimacy, how to build meaningful relationships, and what it means to “Find Your Five.” He also discusses how experimenting with what he calls "healthy embarrassment" (or allowing yourself to feel exposed) makes for better relationships. In fact, he’ll model some of that for us,

Today’s episode is about finding joy, pleasure, interest, and even gratitude in a surprising source: everyday objects and infrastructure.  Our guest Roman Mars is the host and creator of 99% Invisible, a radio show and podcast about design and architecture. It is one of the most popular podcasts in the world. Roman is also a bestselling author; he recently co-authored The 99% Invisible City: A Field Guide to the Hidden World of Everyday Design. Roman talks to us about how he got interested in design, how the name “99% Invisible” came to be, his new book about the under-observed aspects of the built world, the importance of reading plaques and utility markers, design as coercion, and a shared love of 90s punk rock. Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Show notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/roman-mars-368